Too Bad

Finally...

She thought as her vision began to blur. She can feel it. The end of her life.

She can hear the unstable beeping of the machine beside her, different from usual. No matter, she thought.

White ceiling, disinfectant smell, hospital bed, Injections, IV fluids, medicines.

These things is what she grow up to for as long as she can remember.

At the age of 3 it was discovered that she has an terminal illness.

From then on, the hospital has been her home. Medicine has been her food. Doctors and nurse has been companion.

At the age of 5 the doctors said that her illness has no cure and they have no assurance how long would she live but they would do their best and 'research' for a cure.

Her parents cried badly that time. Raged at the doctors and curse the Gods. 'Why would they do this to our baby? our baby...'

What do her parents look like, you ask? She don't remember anymore since days after that, they barely come to visit her.

At the age of 7 all she received from her parents was a greeting card and a stuff toy she wished for.

She asked the doctors and nurses why would they not visit her anymore but they refuse to answer her, saying they don't know.

One time she heard the nurses talking how they pity her since her parents stopped visiting because they now have a new baby.

She asked why does having a new baby stop them from visiting her? The nurses sister look at her in panic and the day after that, her nurses change.

At the age of 9 she stopped asking for her parents and saying she 'understand'

At the age of 12 her illness goes from worse. Her medicines and the needles injected to her tripled. And her body has been deteriorate from a visible pace.

She also noticed that her nurses would always change after 3 days or a week after and would not come back. Curious, she asked one of them. The old nurse said so that they (nurse) would not be attached too much to her.

She asked why? Is that bad? The old nurse just smiled to her sadly and with pity.

At the age of 13 as her health improve, she is now allowed use gadgets. Then she found a new hobby to relieve her boredom. Reading books and internet.

From these things, she discovered the life of a normal person, the world, the society she lives in and the what should have been. What should have been her life if she was a healthy and normal girl.

For a long time, she cried.

As what her parents done then, she blamed God too.

Why her? she asked repeatedly but heard no answer.

At the age of 14 she now understand the looks the nurses and the doctors gave her. The nurses would sometimes look at her with pity, curiosity and indifference. But never an affection.

The doctors would look at her like she isn't a person anymore.

Just a test subject.

But then she just smiled at them innocently and foolishly as she can.

Because now, she understand. The people's heart and mind.

At the age of 16, she stopped counting her age and the years she spent inside this luxurious hospital room. She also stopped asking the doctors and nurses questions and just immersed herself playing games and reading novels.

She spent most of her time in these two. Where she can fool herself believing she lives inside that world.

Can't let go.

Very Addicted.

Because these is how she escape from these damnable situation.

Many years have passed and her health gone from worse to worst. Her body became numb, her senses almost fading and all she could do was open her eyes and sleep again.

If someone would ask her would she count herself lucky or not, she seriously wouldn't know the answer.

Why? Lucky because she is filthy rich. This is what she discovered in her stay in the hospital. No matter how expensive a thing she asked for, her parents would immediately buy it for her as long as it's not against the doctor's rule or her health though they would gave it to her through delivery. The room she stays is levels ahead compared to other room the hospital has too. And if not for her parents being filthy rich, how could she survive this long? Although she didn't know if that's a blessing or a curse.

As her visions became more blurry and the heart monitor's beeping become more unstable, a beautiful scene pop up to her mind. The day where her parents last took her for a stroll under the sunny sky. Although she's in wheelchair that time, she wouldn't forget.

The way her parent's encouraged her that she'll be alright, that if she continue to fight her illness, someday she'd be healthy again and by that time they would take her to shopping and buy all things she wanted.

Why would they left her? Why would they give up on her?

She lied when she said she understand because she never do.

Why? why? why? why!!?

She asked again and again for one last time.

Regrets... So much regrets...

If she was born again... let her live a better life.

She wished for the last time as she finally close her eyes. A relief smile came across her face and tears flow from the corner of her eye.

BEEP---------------

As the heart monitor showed flatline, dozen of panic steps hurried in the room. Among them are the doctors, nurses and an aged couple with tears across they face.

The couple shakily and sorrowfully move towards her body.

We're so sorry. Our baby... Our baby...

Their voices gone hoarse and eyes gone red.

They said it for thousand times while crying. Like a prayer. Hoping that she would hear. Hoping that she would reply.

But too bad... they will hear no reply.

Not anymore.

Too bad....