16 Chapter 16

Rose

Today marks the last day of my summer workshop before school starts and I couldn't ward off negative thoughts. Although we all promised to see each other even when school starts and sign up again next summer, I reckoned it wouldn't be easy especially for me since I would be too busy balancing school and business.

Fanna and Gia go to the same school so it wouldn't be a problem for both of them to hang out with each other. Zeth is home-schooled but he told us he's literally free for the weekends to spend time with us.

The only problem lies with me, I know I'm not good at socializing, especially opening my heart to others. Since before, I was timid and never let others wriggle their way in my personal life. I never had someone I could treat as a close friend or a best friend (except for Sophia which is obviously out of the list). Sure I had friends but we were only friends on the surface and for benefits, I never let someone go deeper and no one really tried.

And after going back in time, I think I became worse. I may sound cold but Fanna, Gia, and Zeth are just people who come and go in my life. I did enjoy our memories and experiences together but that's it, it's only a short-lived experience of happiness. I'm someone who doesn't reach out and block others when they try reaching out to me.

They all gave me their numbers but I never tried contacting them, they tried asking for mine but all I could think was, it was all a hassle and exhausting. I only associate myself with them in the workshop and if they invite me somewhere else but that's it.

I'm not plastic and I treated them like a friend but that's the only thing I could give to them.

Since by the end of the day, no one could really stand up nor fight for my battles. I could only depend on myself and only myself alone. They could all change and turn their backs on me so it's better to put my guard up before they could do any harm.

Maybe I did change for the worse.

I flashed a sad smile as I looked at my reflection on the glass pane as we passed by buildings and houses.

We were off to the workshop and I can't help myself getting emotional as I remembered Fanna, Gia, and Zeth.

They all treated me so well and acknowledged me as their friend, but..

Anyone can be their friends.

I'm not that special to ask for more and I couldn't afford to drag them to my miserable life. I must focus on revenge and revenge alone, and opening my heart to others will be an obstacle to achieve that.

I am also scared, scared that if I let anyone inside my life they would shred me to pieces. That they would soon abandon and betray me if I place my trust in them. I'm scared that my life would just be another cycle of misery and suffering and my past life would just repeat all over again.

I'm scared of trusting and hoping I could be happy again because I know the feeling of expecting too much, only to be dragged down to the ground. I already felt it all and I'm scared to suffer it again because... I don't know if I'll be able to handle it.

"Miss? We're already here." My thoughts were interrupted as the driver informed me we just arrived.

"Ok, thank you."

It took me moments to bring myself to open the car door and drag myself out and onto the workshop.

Fanna and Gia waved at me as soon as I set foot inside the room while Zeth was too busy on his phone to even notice me. The workshop was noisy which was nothing out of the ordinary since it's always like this every day, kids chattering that seemed as if they were having a contest with their voices and some were even shouting just to hear each other.

I waved back at them as I sat on my designated table beside Zeth. I placed my sling bag behind my chair and arranged the crafting tools on my table.

"Hey Rose, you ok?" I looked at Zeth's way and furrowed my eyebrows with his question.

"Um Yeah, why?"

He took a moment to answer as he just stared at me like there's something wrong on my face. "Nothing, you just looked a little bit off when you entered the room."

Huh? But I thought he didn't notice me as he was busy with his phone.

"Naah, I'm ok" I reassured him and Fanna came to me with her usual enthusiastic self.

"Rose, Let's hang out today!" she tugged at my arm and I couldn't help but flash a sad smile.

"I'm sorry Fanna but I'm kinda busy today."

I need to finalize some documents for my business and I can't take time off today because they piled up pretty badly.

"School's about to start but all you could think about is hanging out somewhere." Gia appeared behind her back with her arms crossed.

"Yeah, and that's exactly the reason why we need to hang out. Don't you know the idiom; living life before calamity strikes"

"That's not an idiom, idiot." And here they come with their usual Fanna-Gia banters.

"Well you're the idiot for not knowing the importance of hanging out with friends before school starts"

"We can always hang out some other time and I'm not that much of an idiot compared to you,"

Fanna let out an exaggerated gasp as she turned her body fully towards Gia and acted as if she was hurt by her statement.

"How dare you?"

I chuckled as I almost face-palmed myself with their 5-year-old attitudes.

"It's better to see you smile"

Zeth mumbled something but I didn't get to hear it.

"What?" I faced him asking what he just said, leaving the two girls ready to pounce each other.

"What, what?"

"You were saying something?" He looked at me confusingly and shook his head.

"No, I didn't say anything"

Weird, I thought I heard him say something about me. "Oh, ok"

After a few minutes, the instructor came and we all settled back on our respective areas. We all put on our PPE as the instructor started instructing and once again I was a disaster at crafting.

Even though Zeth helped and taught me in the replacement of the instructor, I was bad at crafting. Not horrible because Zeth was good at teaching even to a person who is learning as fast as a snail.

We were tasked to craft the face of a person and Zeth with his usual over-the-top self crafted a humanoid. I was able to craft the eyes properly and I was so proud of myself only to see Zeth trying to craft a complete person.

Mother Mary in heaven, why can't Zeth just stick to the task so I wouldn't feel and look so pitiable and be a little jealous.