16 MEMORY: Year-end (Part 2)

I took one last deep breath before turning around to face my unexpected visitor.

“Silly, I won’t,” I said, seeing Yana’s troubled face. Did I worry her too much to be looking like that?

I was expecting to get lectured for my trespassing but I was spared, surprisingly. “I’m hungry. Let’s go and eat,” she said to me instead.

She then took my hand and we exited the Roof Deck.

Back in the classroom, my classmates were already eating. Some were laughing and others were busy exchanging stuff in paper bags and glossy wrappers.

Others were getting teary-eyed reading letters while others were writing on the spot. Stationery and cute envelopes were being passed around.

Our classmates clumped around Yana the moment we entered the room. I figured I should let her be for now while I get us some food before it runs out anytime soon.

I glanced in her seat and noticed a bunch of letters and random trinkets piling up her desk. I suddenly felt the corners of the envelope in my skirt pocket poking me from the inside. It was the only letter I had that day, and it wasn’t for me.

“Hey, let her eat too,” I shooed my classmates away from Yana and placed our food on my empty desk. She cleared off her space first before picking a rice cake from my haul.

I was about to send a forkful of spaghetti to my mouth when I noticed Yana looking at me. “You look a bit sad. Going to miss me?” I teased her, hoping to know what she was thinking.

“Hm, it’s nothing,” she said, using her fork to slice the biko (a kind of rice cake). “Just feeling a little nostalgic. Time flies easily, doesn’t it?” She dawdled a bit more with her food then added, “So… why a long face this morning? You even ran away somewhere again.” She looked at me briefly before bringing the first piece to her mouth.

I finished the donut I was eating first before I opened my mouth. “Speaking of which, how did you know I was there?” I said, the thought suddenly coming to mind. I was still calming my nerves earlier that I didn’t get to ask her right away.

“I sniffed you out,” Yana answered in a childish tone, her mouth half full. “Seriously, I hurried to get back here from practice to spend more time with you guys and you don’t know how upset I was not seeing you here. I thought you left already without even bothering to see me,” she continued.

I scratched my head, feeling guilty for what I did.

“Hey… you know I won’t do that, Yana. And I’m sorry for worrying you,” I said.

“I thought you had gone off with your admirer or something—the one you were telling me about this morning. And I was like, oh but how about my letter? I haven’t given it to her yet!” And with that, she reached down for her bag, pulled out an envelope, and handed it to me.

At the back of it was her neat handwriting filling the TO and FROM blanks, and a black and white poker-faced cat as its design.

I was smiling the whole time and looked up to find her smiling too.

“I know you like cats and you have nearly the same facial expression so I thought you’d like it,” she said.

“Of course, I love it!” I replied, my smile not diminishing a bit.

I was about to open the letter but she stopped me right away and asked me to read it once I got home. I agreed and told her to do the same with mine as I held out my letter for her.

I was glad to see her surprised and delighted as if she really didn’t expect me to write something for her. I knew I wasn’t a showy sweet person but I could be, if I wanted to.

And of course, I couldn’t tell her I was only like that to her.

The truth was, it had been a while since I last wrote to someone. And I didn’t even plan to write a letter to Yana from the start. It was something that I just felt suddenly and strongly, that I knew I had to do it.

Never had I imagined that it would take me a number of tries for a couple of nights just to finish the one that I would approve of in the end.