4 THE NOTE
"I believe that not all memories are good. But having bad memories make us vulnerable. I believe it makes us more human, that in every bad memory surrounds us there's something in it, a special thing that no one can fathom. And that is the LESSON which is the worst-case scenario of that memory, and that's why we couldn't let it happen again."
- Author
Louise looks at her trying to feel at ease. This can't be real.
"To tell you the truth Ms. Bea, as I can see and hear about your situation, you have Antiphospholipid (AN-te-fos-fo-LIP-id) syndrome. This occurs when your immune system attacks some of the normal proteins in your blood. It can cause blood clots in your arteries or veins. And it can cause pregnancy complications, such as miscarriage and stillbirth. Blood clots in your leg veins cause a condition known as deep vein thrombosis (DVT). Damage from blood clots in your organs, such as your kidneys, lungs, or brain, depends on the extent and location of the clot. For instance, a clot in your brain can cause a stroke."
Bea trying to calm herself down, as tears started to fall from her eyes. Louise felt sorry but, she won't have a choice but, to be honest for the sake of Bea's baby.
"I~is there a~any cure?"
She can barely talk knowing about her illness. Louise doesn't know how to let her know, but she can't do the same mistake as Dr. Shane did as her OB-Gyne.
"There's no cure for antiphospholipid syndrome, but medications can reduce your risk of blood clots."
"How about the medication? Is it expensive?"
"It's pretty expensive, as it'll be your maintenance."
"My baby.. I~is my baby safe? Isn't there any risk of giving birth to her?"
The question that pound Louise's heart.
"Giving birth can risk you to high blood pressure and could lead to stroke. As I never experience like this before, I heard that in most cases, we have to choose between a new life or a mother's life."
"What do you mean Dr. Martin?"
"It means, we have to choose between you or the life of your baby..."
"But how is that possible? I mean, what if I chose to give birth? I will ~"
"There's a possibility that you might die.
Louise continued what Bea has to say next.
"So what do we do next? You're a doctor, known as one of the best doctors in the country, I'm sure you have an alternative solution from all of these."
"Actually yes we have but, we don't want to take a risk, as you can't take any medication for now because you'll give birth 3 weeks from now. I have to talk with your OB-Gyne first but now, we have to confine you for some tests and of course to observe you and your baby..."
A moment of silence. Something's bothering Bea but she's not sure how to say it. She holds Louise's hand and cried.
"Please Dr. Martin, do everything for the sake of my baby. Even I will die, just save my baby. I know you are the best doctor. Just please..." *sobs*
"It will be hard for your baby if you leave her alone. She deserves to have a mother to grow with, it will be unfair for her that you decided to die just to save her, she will feel bad if she happens knows it."
*knock ~ knock*
"Come in!"
Louise shouted as someone knocking on her door. It was from Steve. And Louise just alerted that it's lunchtime already.
"Ahm Bea, I think you also need to take lunch first. For now, I will think about your situation more til I found alternative solutions. Eat healthy foods and don't worry about your condition, I promise to save you and your child as well. I will call you tomorrow for an appointment for confinement, and to run some tests."
Louise said and smiled, a sign of assurance. Bea sighed, forcing herself to smile, wiping her tears, and nodded.
"Okay Dr. Martin, thank you so much. I will make myself healthy, for the sake of my baby, and for myself."
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Louise and Steve having their lunch at the Cafeteria. Louise doesn't want to eat with somebody else except for steve, he's an exception. The two of them enjoying their sandwiches and salad.
"So, what happened?"
Steve pertaining to Bea's case.
"Well..."
Louise sigh after she takes a bite of her sandwich.
"I know Bea is a strong woman, but her case is really serious. Like, she's sick as hell. I also checked her previous laboratory tests, it's really complicated, and I want to question her OB-GYN doctor that why is it too late for her to ask a cardiologist about Bea's situation. I wanna talk to Luiz about this too, her OB-GYN took her in a very fragile state. What do you think, Dr. Steve? I mean, her case was really serious, any time she may die or lost her baby."
Luiz is Louise's brother, a lawyer with a small law firm in San Diego.
"Hmmm for me? I'll do what is right. I will do what I needed to do. Because it will never be this complicated if her Doctor recommends seeing a cardiologist as soon as she has seen something odd about her health."
"Yeah, you're right. Anyway, I'll just take my morning duty today. I have to go somewhere this afternoon."
"I see. Where?"
"I already told you, somewhere."
"Alright then, enjoy."
There's no way for me to enjoy going on that place- Louise thought.
Louise cleared all her schedules and appointment for today as she needs to go to the place where she feels at ease but sad at the same time. At the cemetery.
Her mom passed away years ago, at that moment where she begins to not remember everything about it. Like why? why of all people, why at all circumstances, why she can't remember the most important time of her life, the last moment that she's with her mom?
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She arrived at the cemetery at 2 pm. Still, every time she goes there, it was full of sadness that she can't even explain. It's been 7 months when she visited her mom. The only memory she had from her mother is from preschool to middle school, and it was like a puzzle. She only remembers the happy moments she had with her mom. The rest, it was all blurry and broken. Sometimes when she sleeps at night, she keeps on dreaming about one thing, the moment when she was having a talk with her mom on the couch.
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"Louise, do you know that the first time I held you in my arms? It felt so unreal."
"Really? why mom?"
"Because I never asked God to have a daughter. I was too scared and I don't know what to do the first time I saw you. Can I take care of you? Can I be the best mom for you?"
"But mom, for me you're already the best."
"No Louise, I know it's not enough. I'm sorry, but I hope you can forgive me when the time has come that you realized how stupid I am to save our family."
And then she would wake up with a big question in her mind, why does her mom would feel sorry? Every time she asks about it, all her father says is don't be bother about it and forget the past when in reality, it was hard to face the present without knowing what happened back then.
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"Hey mom, I'm here. Did you miss me?"
It was her mom's death anniversary. And every time this day occurs, her father doesn't come to visit. Or even once after her mother died. All his father say was like, it was hard to face her mom, he did nothing when those things happened. He blames himself for what happened to Louise and his wife.
Louise was looking at the glass with her mother's grave when she notices something beside it.
A small black envelope.
"Who would leave something like this on my mom's grave?"
Her father said her mom doesn't have many friends, her aunt (mom's sister) lived in Singapore since her grandmother and grandfather separated when they were young. So she doesn't know who would leave that envelope.
She opened it and read the note.
"DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE REASON BEHIND YOUR MOTHER'S DEATH?"
Louise widened her eyes, surprised and confused. She looks around if anybody was looking at her at the moment.
"Who the hell would send this?"
She read the note one more time, she can't explain her feelings toward it. She doesn't know what to do, so she immediately called Steve.
"Hello, Dr. Steve? Are you busy?"
"Nope, why? Is there something wrong?"
"Yeah, I got a note here. And it's kinda weird, let's talk at the Vegas Cafe. Are you free later by 6 pm?"
"Sure, just wait for me there, I'll try to be on time."
"Alright. Bye."
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Louise stayed at the cemetery for a couple of hours, thinking. Then she arrived at the Coffee shop at exactly 6 pm.
She ordered a caramel macchiato and iced coffee for Steve.
Steve also arrived on time.
"So hey, what's good?
Louise pulled out the note and show it to Steve.
"What's this?
"A note, I found it on my mom's grave."
"So you go there alone, you should've told me earlier so I could have accompanied you."
"It's fine, don't worry. I know you're busy. Anyway, read that note."
And Steve read the note, also surprised.
"What the hell is this?"
"I don't know, that was also my reaction when I found that there."
Steve was also confused, it was like a puzzle to him. But something just came upon his mind.
"Do you think, someone was like playing with you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Like someone wants to play with you."
"With that accident happened years ago? But why? Why do they want to play with me?"
"Maybe because they do really know what happened."
Finally, their order just came. Right on time.
"I don't know what to feel. Maybe someone wants to play with me because I have an eidetic memory."
"But how did you supposed to overcome that? I mean, you cannot remember everything in your past but, having such kind of photographic memory means you're one of the most genius people in the world!"
"Shut up Dr. Steve, I'm not perfect as you're thinking. I'm pretty sure there's something behind that accident. Well, the neurologists told me that once I recovered my memories, my ability to remember everything will be gone. Like, how was that possible?"
"Oh yeah. My friend told me about that thing, it'll be possible because of the shock. That may be bad. But for me, if I were you, I'll just forget my past and enjoy the present."
"How about the future? How can I move forward knowing there's something bad in my past?"
"But if you tried as you said, you're ability will be affected. Remember, you go through that state because of it. Are you willing to let go of everything you have for the sake of remembering your past?"
"So what will I do about this letter? Just ignore it?"
"For now... yes. We need to observe first. Let me know if something is odd or you received another note. It can be the missing piece for this puzzle. I'll bring you home tonight, okay?"
Louise nodded as they finish their coffee...
But suddenly, Louise's phone rang and she answered the call.
"Hello?"
Someone answered with a deep voice.
"DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE REASON BEHIND YOUR MOTHER'S DEATH?"
End of Chapter Three.
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"There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well."
― Nicholas Sparks
