The guilt

The next two days were a living nightmare. Maila would go to sleep and wake up not long after, having nightmares of children and parents crying, buildings burning, and an evil apparition laughing maniacally. She knew what they were; she was told of how her mother used to get them before really bad events too. It was not too common, but not rare, and tended to only appear within high ranking Stelra, though every rule has an exception. Nevertheless, it was Maila's first time going through such nightmares, and she despised them. She'd wake up sweating, her hands clammy, her heart racing, her thoughts wild. She'd focus on them all day long until her friends couldn't bear her silence any longer, and spoke up.

In fact, they only dared to try when there was only hours to her departure, the seal of her fate.

Maila felt alone for those two days; it wasn't just the nightmares though. She felt as though she was drowning in a sea of overwhelming power and insecurity, a sea o poison with no land to heal her broken soul. The sharks ate away at her flesh as she churned in her sleep, and the guilt strangled her everytime she walked through the hallways, her eyes automatically focusing on the kingdom on the other side of the glass barrier.

She couldn't escape.

She could barely breathe when Talia walked into her room silently, and nodded.

It was time for Maila to get dressed, to sport heavy armour of silver and steel that adorned the nature insignia, her once pride and joy; her now nightmare. She sighed and trembled as she walked up to the mannequin which contained the gleaming metal plates. She had been staring at it, unmoving, for at least an hour now. She focused on undressing herself, and allowed Talia to help her put the heavy armour on, her arms limp at her side, her mouth dry, her eyes wet.

Once she was done, she didn't look in the mirror. She knew how she looked; her hair concealed in the helmet, her new sword glinting in the fresh sunlight of the morning sky. Her eyes were dull, and her pale skin was barely visible.

"Tal, I'm going to have to do this. I'm going to have to kill them. Innocent people; children, mothers, fathers, warriors. I have to slaughter them all like animals, Tal. The Queen is fashioning me into a beast."

A single tear dropped from her eye as she removed the helmet from her head, too tired to sob, to quilt-shaken to care. Talia merely shook her head.

"Be safe."

Maila sighed and walked out of her room. The trek down her stairs was long and effortful as her feet dragged along the carpeted stairs, her stomach having pebbles in it like never before. Talia walked to the stables where some warriors were waiting, as well as the stableboy. Among the warriors was Sulon, looking sullen like his comrades. He too would ride a horse, following Maila.

She walked up to her horse, Caramel, a beautiful Falabella horse which had a pale caramel coat and a silky black mane and tail. She'd been taking him on rides for a few years now, and he was excited to see her again.

~~~

As the rode through the city, the Queen was at the tip of the march, her advisor falling in step behind her, Maila behind him, side by side with Sulon, and the army following behind them. The city residents didn't know what was going on, yet they cheered for their Queen and army, despite the depressed expression each soldier wore. The entire journey to the harbour was like a stab in the heart to Maila; they didn't know they were supporting a slaughterhouse for innocents. the nightmares flared through Maila's mind and she shook her head, focusing on the plan.

The army was being carried in galactic fleets, large wooden ships with chartreuse sails containing the nature insignia and bodies of sun kissed Elder Oak. There were large enchanted paddles that enables the ships to fly too, at least twenty on each side of the ship. It was a glorious sight; up to thirty of these ships sailing through space, the journey to planet Xanus whilst beautiful being a slap in the face.

This was really happening, Maila was allowing her army, her people, murder and slaughter the most peaceful species' in the universe, and she had to act like she stood by it. Even so, there was no going back, not anymore. More than ever, she wanted to succumb to the darkness, knowing she'd live with the guilt for centuries. She could have run off, lived somewhere else on their planet, had someone else take her place, but then the guilt would be just as bad, knowing she had a chance to stop the slaughter and being a coward instead. She wondered what her mother would've thought, her mother who she never met as she died giving birth, her mother who she felt watching over her. She wondered what her father was thinking, her father who was commanded to join the army as the mission was considered an emergency.

He too didn't get told why.

The journey lasted a long time, though without having an atmosphere with reliable time, Maila couldn't tell how long they had been travelling. it flew by in a blur though, as not long after what she thought they departed, their target planet came into view. The Queen was to not fight herself, ut stay on the ship one they landed, meaning Maila had to lead her horse onto the foreign planet, she would have to announce their invasion, see the pure terror in the eyes of the unsuspecting species. She would be told in stories if any Kalibri or elves would live, as the monster who led her men into battle. Or she could change fate, go against what the Queen told her, betray her people to save innocent lives.

The Queen's words echoed in her mind as the ship crashed softly against the ground of Xanus;

"We will take no prisoners."

Maila took a shaky breath as her horse fled onto the safety of the ground, and she took Caramel by the reins, her ride coming to a sudden halt.

Many Kalibri came into view, humanoid ferals, some on all four paws, other on their hind legs, walking like humans. Some with two tails, some with one. Some with horns, some without. Some with two ears, some with four. Some with patterns on their coat, some with none.

All innocent and confused.

The elves were there too, most adults, some children. The sight roke Maila's heart, but in order for the plan to work, she had to remain heartless; her facade couldn't be broken yet.

Her voice was smooth, and cold, dominating over the two bewildered species. She was surprised as it did not falter, emotionless and harsh. She was saying each word coolly, like she never had before. And now she couldn't take her words back;

"We, the species Stelrid of Planet Xena, are here to infiltrate your planet. We will take no prisoners, and should you show force, your death will only be more painful."