5 New Life. New Goal.

I was still on the bus. Uncle and Tae oppa, after much persuasion, had already gotten off on their stop to Seoul and I was on my way to Daegu at the moment.

'Am I going to do the right thing? What is the right decision at the moment? What do I do?'

My head started hurting.

'Aish. Stop it! Stop it seriously Y/N! You made your decision now follow through with it!'

The bus suddenly stopped and I almost lost the only bag that I was carrying with me due to the harsh braking skills of the bus driver.

On the bus's screen.

We have arrived at Daegu. Hope you have enjoyed your ride with us. Come back again!

'Like I'll ever get on this bus again! Lord have mercy!'

I got off the bus and started looking around my unfamiliar surroundings, wondering if I'll ever make it to grandma's house before night falls. Thinking walking around was a lot better than just standing around I took off not knowing where in the world I was headed to.

After 20 minutes of fruitless walking, I stopped and sat down on the side of the road. That's when I fully noticed my surroundings. Everyone kept on glancing at me and whispering. They would point and laugh or shake their heads at me in disgust or disbelief. I couldn't really tell at this point. I was too tired and hungry. I saw a little tteokbokki food stall right across the street so I walked over their first.

"Ajumma, can you give me one plate of tteokbokki please?" My mouth was already watering. I remember eating them when I was younger, wonder if it'll still taste the same.

"Here you go." The old lady handed me my food and I paid with the money Uncle had given me, but she kept on staring at me as I ate. I wouldn't be surprised because I ate like a pig, with the red sauce flying everywhere. On the other hand, I didn't think that was why she was staring. She seemed surprised.

"Ajumma, is there something wrong with me? Everyone keeps on staring and whispering about me. Am I doing something weird?"

"Your clothes and your accent. They are weird. Plus, you keep on looking around in amazement as if it's your first time seeing everything. Where are you from?"

I choked on my food after hearing what the old lady was saying.

'And here I thought I had blended in completely. Goddammit!'

"Ha-ha ajumma. How did you know? I...um...I just came up from deep inside the villages so, it-it's kind of like my first time seeing everything. Ha-ha, I better buy some new clothes right ajumma?"

She simply nodded her head and smiled at me, buying my story. She then turned her attention to her other customer and I finished eating. I said my thanks and left the stall with a new goal. Clothes and a makeover.

'Thank the lord for Uncle loading me up with money before leaving. Dang, Uncle isn't doing too bad in the finance department now is he?' I smiled at the thought before looking around for clothes to buy.

After looking around I found a cheap clothing shop near one of the alleys and went in and bought a set of pretty new clothes. A dark navy blue jean and a lavender pastel-colored shirt. They both fit me well. It was perfect. I then went to a public restroom and washed up to the best of my ability and wore my new clothes with newfound confidence. You know what they say, "Clothes makes the man".

"Wow..." When I looked at myself in the mirror I could barely recognize myself. I looked okay for once, not grubby, messy and disgusting, but clean and okay. Someone who could pass as living in South Korea. I was proud of my accomplishment and wondered what Tae oppa's reaction would be like. I walked out of the restroom throwing away the old clothes and old pains. I have to start anew, I had bigger things to do here.

"Ah, excuse me, can you help me out a little? Do you how I would get to this address?" I asked an old man who was sitting on the benches of the bus stop waiting for a bus. He kindly pointed me in the right direction and told me I could walk there in 10 minutes. With the old man's directions in mind, I started walking and ended up reaching grandma's house in record time.

'Ah~I am so not ready to face anyone. I wish Taehyung oppa was here with me. Stop it! It's your problem, fix it yourself.'

With that, I pressed the doorbell and waited. I then heard an old lady call out, "Who's there?"

"Ah...I am here to meet Y/F/N's mother. Is this the right house?"

The door was flung open and I jumped back in fear. I saw my so-called grandma then. Old, fragile and wrinkly, but the resemblance was there. Appa got his kind looks from her. Except, they were completely different people.

"G-grandma?"

There was a deafening silence with tension thick in the air. I didn't dare move nor look away from grandma, afraid that the last connection between appa and I was going to be cut if I looked away even for a millisecond. The hopeful connection didn't last long anyway.

"Get out."

"H-huh? Grand-"

"I SAID GET OUT! GO AWAY! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! YOU UNLUCKY BITCH! YOU TOOK AWAY MY SON! MY ONLY SON! YOUR MOTHER WAS JUST ANOTHER MONSTER AS WELL! BOTH OF YOU TOOK AWAY MY SON AWAY FROM ME! AND NOW I GET A LETTER SAYING HE IS DEAD! BECAUSE OF YOU TWO MY ONLY SON IS DEAD! GET LOST!" Grandma was about to slam the door close on my face, but I stopped her by grabbing on to the door and pushing it open.

"GRANDMA! You have never even met me and I have never met you so, can't you please let me explain? Please grandma? I miss appa and you are the only link left to him! PLEASE let me explain! Please, grandma let me talk don't abandon me! GRANDMA!" She ended by closing the door on my hands and I was left outside of the house crying in pain. Mentally and physically. She didn't even look back or hesitate after she saw me bleeding. She coldly turned around closed the door and left.

I sat there for a bit longer calling out to Grandma, but no one listened. Even the other people who walked by the house in the alley ignored me and walked away. I sat there watching my blood flow out of me, not feeling anything, not understanding anything. I just wanted to be gone. I don't want to be in this lonely cruel life. I needed appa to be here with me. I needed eomma to be here with me. But the truth was, no was here. I was alone. Abandoned, unlucky and useless. A burden.

'No, don't think like that. You have Tae and Uncle, right?'

"Ha, even my blood-related family don't want me so why would someone else who has his own family to take care of?" I sat there for a while longer and then finally got up.

'I should just disappear.'

My pastel lavender shirt's cuff was colored with blood, but by now the bleeding had stopped by itself. I felt weak, but I had a mission. That stupid USB drive. I walked to the nearest public restroom and cleaned myself up. I then went back to the bus terminal and got on the bus to Busan and fell asleep immediately, it was already way past midnight.

The next morning at dawn.

"Oi, young lady, we have reached the last stop of this bus. You have to get off now."

I woke up to the bus driver kindly waking me up to get off at the last stop. So I did. The stop was in the middle of nowhere. On the side of the road with a bus sign with the sea spread out on both sides of the road.

"Um excuse me ahjussi. When does the next bus to Seoul come?"

"That would be in the evening at 6 o'clock."

"Ah thank you."

With that, the bus left and I was left alone....again.

'At least the view was beautiful.'

I looked around for a bit as I continued to walk on the road smelling the salty sea and getting my mouth salty as well. As I was walking I kept on wondering about appa.

'Why did he live such a mysterious life? How was eomma involved in the black deal that appa heard about? Why did she have to die? Was it a way to stop appa from digging for more information about the black deal? Why did only appa die? They could have shot all of us, but why only appa?'

With those thoughts running around in my head I didn't even notice how far I had walked. I ended up at the dead-end of the road where there was a cliff. It jutted out towards the sea like it was proud of cutting the view of the sea, but it seemed nice to sit there so I went up to the cliff.

The breeze up there was no joke, but getting up to the cliff was no joke either. It was a tedious job to get up there through all the overgrown bushes and loose rocks that would successfully twist and break your ankle in half if you didn't pay attention. But it was worth it. The view was breathtaking. The sky was clear, the waters were a beautiful crystal blue and the wind was mind-blowingly clean.

I sat down at the edge and just stared out at the majestic blue sea wondering about my life, appa's life, eomma's life and how I should live from now on...or do I live at all?

Honestly, I felt guilty for being the only one alive. I could have died in my mom's place or my dad's place, but they both protected me until the last moment and I never got nor will get the chance to repay my parents. I am alive and healthy because of their sacrifices, but I don't feel like I deserve all this. Perhaps I was bad luck. Perhaps, it was because of me that they died. If I wasn't there they could have survived. They could have figured out something together, but because of me...all because of me they are dead.

'Let's jump Y/N. Let's put an end to all of this before someone else gets hurt because of you. Jump.'

I got up and steadied myself at the edge of the cliff where I was sitting. I honestly don't see the point of me living. Due to me maybe one-day Taehyung oppa or maybe Uncle can get hurt. I don't want that.

I took a step closer to the edge. I heard something like a crunch and looked behind me. No one. I turned my foot back to look back at the sea, but I heard the crunch again. It was as if something was being grinded against the rocks. I looked down at my feet and picked it up to see the USB drive staring back at me. It had scratches on it now thanks to me stepping on it and rubbing it against the rocks.

All of a sudden that night came rushing back to me. Appa's death and his last wish to me.

"Y/N this is for you." Appa handed me a USB. "Keep this safe. Stay strong, safe and happy. I am always watching. Love you. Now go!"

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me and crashed to the floor. I felt my tears going over the edge of my eyes and flooding down my face, but there was nothing I could do to stop them. So I let it all out. I cried and cried until the sun started setting ever so slowly as the day waned on.

'Appa wanted me to stay safe and strong, but look at what I am doing. Appa and Eomma both sacrificed themselves for me, but here I am trying to waste their efforts to keep me alive and safe.'

"I am such a great daughter right appa? Eomma? Aren't you proud?" I asked sarcastically to no one.

I looked down at the USB drive in my hands and formed a resolute goal.

"I will find out who did this to us eomma and appa. Guide me so that I can finish what you guys had started. Help me so that I can follow appa's footsteps. I will end this. I will get my revenge. Wait for me eomma appa. I will fight."

I got up and went closer to the only tree that was on the cliff and started digging a hole on one side of the giant tree. After some good time trying to dig a deep hole with a tree branch I wrapped up the USB drive in plastic and put it inside one of the boxes I carried to hold my so-called jewelry in. I placed the USB drive in the hole I had made and buried it.

'This is where this USB will stay until I find more clues and information about what had happened 10 years ago starting from the black deal. I will come back to get you when I am strong enough and prepared enough to fight back the people responsible for my parent's death. I promise.'

I grabbed my bag and walked back to the bus stop and waited. When the bus finally arrived I got in and headed back up to Seoul with a new goal and a new reason to live.