16 Epilogue

"Aren't you eating way too much recently?" asked Feng Xi in a sort of amazed voice when she saw Mu Rong An followed her lead and filled her own bowl one more time. For Feng Xi it was quite alright, she would train and her body needed the additional energy but where did this slim woman stock all that she ate?

The comment, an unwelcome one, had Mu Rong An scowled –which Feng Xi actually liked better than the other's polite smile. These days, Mu Rong An seemed to ease in her presence and wasn't as rejecting as before.

"Aren't people supposed to eat when hungry?" she rebuked.

"Are they starving you in there for you to be so hungry!"

"You!" Wasn't this woman cheeky! She came all the way to her residence to eat for free and dared comment as boldly as she wanted, "I'm hungry so what!"

Feng Xi laughed out loud at the other's outrage and slapped her thigh as she said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, eat, eat, never let it be said that because of me the general's wife didn't eat her fill. He won't let me alone if I dare."

Mu Rong An glared at her and returned to her chopsticks, choosing to ignore her.

Feng Xi, a smile on her lips, observed the other woman more attentively now. For the past month, she would come from time to time to pass a bit of a time in this residence to see this person. Although she was mostly treated politely at the beginning it was better now and looking at this person who was now acting like a human and not like some sort of automaton without a soul, filled Feng Xi with ecstasy. Her face had regained its color, her eyes were brimming with life and… she had a decent appetite. Actually a big appetite. Something for two weeks now… which had Feng Xi's imagination run a bit wild, looking at her stomach… It was flat still but maybe… maybe... She smiled some more… It was good. Really good.

Finished with her bowl, Feng Xi placed it down and said,

"I am going to leave the capital."

Life here really wasn't for her. She had followed the army until here but she wasn't really bound to them. She mostly came for her own reasons and now that her worries had been erased, there was no reason then, to stay where she wasn't comfortable.

Mu Rong An lifted her face to look at her. She found Feng Xi way more pleasing than Li Ming Qi, maybe it was because they actually never did go head to head against one another. It wasn't that she was completely comfortable with being around her but it was far better now. After a moment, Mu Rong An said,

"En,… do you know where you'll be going?"

Feng Xi smiled, "not yet, but the good thing about not having a destination is that every road leads you there."

The general's wife smiled wryly at that. What kind of logic was this?

"When will you depart?"

"In a couple of days; I'm not sure I'll have the time to come and say goodbye by then so I'm doing it now."

"With Yan Mi?"

"En."

Mu Rong An thought a bit and motioned for her servant to come closer and she whispered in her ears. The servant left but returned swiftly after that, a pouch in hand that she gave to Feng Xi. It was filled with coins. Golden Coins. After all, what this person usually lacked the most was still money.

"I can't accept," she dared reject though.

Feng Xi thought Mu RongAn would push but the other just waved at her servant who took away the pouch and instead proposed to play a song on her erhu as a departing gift then.

Feng Xi was more than willing to listen.

It was just that, caught up in the song, she never remarked that the servant put the pouch in her bag and the day she did, it was far too late; she was already outside the capital.

"Write, from time to time," Mu Rong An had suddenly asked when Feng Xi was ready to go. It would be a lie to say that there wasn't a part of Mu Rong An happy that Feng Xi was going but at the same time, there was another part of her that started to like this woman who was constantly looking out for her as though she was her appointed guard even now.

"I will," she promised and Mu Rong An smiled for her.

***

The evening of that day, when Ru Shan Yong came back from court and they were sharing dinner in their courtyard, Mu Rong An caught herself filling her bowl one more time. If Feng Xi never pointed it out, she wouldn't have remarked.

She pursed her lips. Was she really eating that much?

"What is it?" asked Ru Shan Yong when he saw that she had frozen and was now glaring at the rice in her bowl.

"Am I eating too much?"

Ru Shan Yong nearly choked on his food,

"Am I too fat?" she persisted,

He first wanted to say that indeed, the amount of food she was ingesting these days had increased. He had initially wanted to ask her about it but she seemed healthier than ever so in the end, he stayed silent. To her question now, he wanted to say that a bit more meat on her was alright and even if it was more than a bit it was alright too –not that she had gained weight- however, something in her expression told him that he must certainly not, say such words.

"Not at all,"

"But I eat more now, don't I?"

"Maybe you need to grow more,"

"I won't be growing any more than I already am!"

Why was she getting angry at him now?

Mu Rong An tried resisting her hunger and set down her bowl intending not to eat anymore. She got up and went to sit farther, suddenly finding interest in reordering the things in the room. However, her husband still caught the sneaky glances she was giving his bowl and didn't know if he was authorized to laugh. She was actually gazing at his plate with longing! Really where was the need to torture herself? Ru Shan Yong personally served her and stood to give her the plate,

"Eat and don't think about anything else," he was barely holding back his laughers and even though she was glaring at him, she still obediently took it and appeased her stomach.

***

It was some days later actually, when she was with her sisters-in-law, that the idea of summoning a physician had been raised and finally understanding, she clutched the clothes on her stomach, filled with anxiety, fear, hope... Ru Shan Yong wasn't there that morning, already having departed for court; it was his sister, who took her hands in hers and smiled at her, assuring that it was going to be alright. Ru Ying Yue had felt at the time that someone must do so, for Mu Rong An had already gone pale before the physician even come.

And when the physician said that she was pregnant, Mu Rong An didn't know if she was most scared or most happy. She really wanted it to be alright this time. The women in the residence were all happy and all praises and even though she couldn't settle for what she felt, Mu Rong An was eager to share the news with Ru Shan Yong.

She hadn't even let him the time to change clothes and hadn't even been able to properly formulate sentences. When he came back, she had stood in front of him, a hand on her belly, a look of both joy and fright- a really strange expression. Her husband frowned, a flash of worry had him be by her side in two strides.

"What is it?" he had asked a hand on her shoulder staring straight into her eyes.

She smiled then, taking his hand in hers, she guided it gently and placed it on her stomach. And through her clothes, she could still feel his warmth "I... I..." the words failed her,

Understanding finally dawned on him though, eyes sparkling, she saw him smiled at the point of having dimples and she thought that was the face she wanted him to have for the rest of their lives. He was kissing her then, whispering softly,

"This general told you that there was nothing wrong with your body."

She beamed at him, all worries disappearing into nothingness.

That night she snuggled impossibly closer to him or maybe it was he who was embracing her too tightly. He was assuring her that this time around everything was going to be alright, he would see that she lacked nothing,

"Be there all the way," she had whispered to him, her sole plea.

At that, Ru Shan Yong drew in a breath to her neck, inhaled her warm scent,

"I will" he promised, his words like an oath.

***

Wasn't it 'wonderful' that a couple of days later that royal couple gave them the high grace of coming personally in their residence to congratulate them? Mu Rong An received them politely, took the long list of presents and medicinal supplies that were brought, thanking the princess in all kind of flowery words. At one point, Ru Shan Yong had to entertain Hen Ru Ying alone and not trusting herself to stay in the same room with Li Ming Qi near anything breakable such as teapot and vases; she invited the other for scenery viewing of her garden. In the open air! Where she could further the distance between them!

They were talking. At least, their mouths were moving but Mu Rong An couldn't be sure what she was saying herself, let alone the other. Her features were schooled into neutrality, her smile gentle and she just had to put a hand on her stomach to be at ease and even forget who she was talking to.

A neigh interrupted whatever it was that the princess was saying and she turned to see little black not far away from their position.

Lately, Mu Rong An had wanted to befriend the animal. Or at the very least to have it come when she called. She couldn't quite help the feeling; the thing was as though glued to her husband to the point she thought they were sharing him. Well, no, not really it was just accompanying him to the palace and bringing him back but she felt that it was taking way too much time of her husband! And anyway, the quadruped was loved dearly by him and thinking carefully, it was, the only one between her husband's friends, she wanted to make a long lasting companionship with! Seriously, the horse was an intelligent one!

Not that she was anywhere near mounting it though. It was all good if it just came when called, or fake a dance when she played on an instrument or simply stood still and let her paint it. Obviously, Ru Shan Yong was here all those times or it wouldn't have. Which was certainly why it was unbound now. The servants certainly thought that today too, the general would teach his horse to be obedient to his wife.

Looking at the animal that was lying near the flowers, Mu Rong An clapped her hand once. The horse didn't even lift its head. She clapped them again. But it kept on pretending to sleep. She pursed her lips. That annoying quadruped! Wasn't it all obedient when Ru Shan Yong was there? She clapped again.

"It's not a dog you know-" Li Ming Qi started, but before she could finish, the proud animal lifted its head and neighed loudly and it stood suddenly, slowly coming closer to its mater's wife. Mu Rong An flashed Li Ming Qi a smile as, for once, the animal was actually letting her pet its head by itself.

"It is my husband's horse, of course, it knows me better than outsiders!"

Li Ming Qi pursed her lips but didn't talk. When she too, made a motion towards little black it shrugged, lifted its head to neigh and came closer to Mu Rong An. Suddenly, Mu Rong An felt damn prideful of this animal! She noted somewhere in her head that she most definitely should reward it with more food! For once she really felt coordinate with this quadruped!

As she joyfully recounted the obedience of the stallion that night to her husband all smile and compliments about it, Ru Shan Yong's corners lips couldn't lower. Hearing her, one could doubt she was talking about an animal and to add to her delight of that night, he broke to her the news that, the emperor had given him the charge of the inner city. Unless they were to be assieged or another decree, he would be working in the capital from now on.

The future really looked bright. Far brighter than she could have ever thought of.