50 Chapter Fifty

Her eyes opened revealing the monster hiding inside. The coldness, anger, however also pain shined in the dark room.

Meng grabbed the knife left forgotten on the floor after Feng Qi had made her release it and stabbed it toward him.

Feng Qi's legs were still tied leaving him at a disadvantage. If she tried to really kill him, he might end up severely wounded being tied. His body tensed up as every bone told him to follow his natural instinct and defend himself. With his hands out, he had a better chance at disarming her than avoiding her.

However, she was  already hurt, he wasn't strong enough to disarm her without causing her any pain.

Feng Qi's eyes were filled with complicated emotions, before he laid down on the cold table to avoid the knife filled with killing intent. The knife stabbed down next to his head with so much force that it entered inside of the stone table.

A smile grew in his eyes when he realized even in this situation she wasn't willing to harm him. She was like a rose with thorns that only he seemed to be able to touch without being cut.

Meng leaned down and whispered into Feng Qi's ear with viciousness. "Don't think highly of yourself, you mean nothing to me. I could kill you right now and regret nothing. Feng Qi caring about me will only harm you."

She couldn't bear to be around him anymore, therefore leaving the knife as a reminder, she walked toward the wall and pressed her hand against the irregular stone.

"I am going into closed cultivation. When I come out hopefully I won't be disappointed."

Feng Qi should have been vexed listening to Meng's brutal words, but he couldn't. She reminded him of wounded animal trapped in a corner of her own making. The longer he was around her the more eager he was to destroy the trap and save her.

Feng Qi relaxed on the stone table before turning his head to look at the door Meng escaped through.

Letting her hide would likely be the best option until she calmed down, however how could he? Returning to life without her running around already made him feel panicked Inside. Uncomfortably, Feng Qi rubbed his chest with clenched eyebrows.

"Shadow two."

...

Meng left the room and walked down the hallway. Tears fell down her face as she forced herself to get away from Feng Qi. If it was her previous self torturing a useless Feng Qi would of been easy. However, when she swung the knife toward him... she couldn't do it.

She had changed and when she thought about it. The change didn't happen recently. In fact it seemed to have happen as soon as she met Feng Qi face to face. The horrible pain when he yelled out in the dungeons, the sadness when she saw the scars on his body.

She assumed that it was only because she was still shocked about transmigrating. She had done what she always loved to do and lied to herself. Now faced with absolute evidence, she had no where to hide. Feng Qi found a place in her black heart and it was tearing her apart.

She wiped the tears invading her eyes. "I just need time away from him to recollect myself."

She comforted herself to stop the pain inside. Her parents succeeded in making it so that she didn't care about anything, unfortunately by that time she didn't care about the company either.

She didn't do exactly what her parents wanted. Instead of getting rid of her soul she hid it. Her soul was broken and bloody, exposing it exposed all of the memories she never wanted to think of again.

Whenever she did she would feel herself fading. The emptiness...It was horrifying.

The world was cruel, people were trash, and destiny was a bit*h. That will never change. Finally the pain started to fade and Meng was able to push her emotions back.

Her head felt tired after the internal battle with herself and she wanted nothing more, but to sit down. However, how could she when at any moment Feng Qi could come down this way?

She might of pushed back her conflicted emotions, yet she still didn't think she would be alright seeing him again.

Normally, in the situation that she had unpleasant thoughts, she would think about Feng Qi to get rid of them.

"Ha. Too much for him being the cure to everything."  Meng rubbed her head in annoyance as she thought about this.

Her choice to involve herself with her idol really ending up with her stepping on her own foot. Was it even worth it in the end?

At the thought a clear cut reminder creeped into her mind of her in her dark, torn down apartment. Anyone who saw this would think it was an extremely sad image. However, only she knew that this image was actually the happiest day of her life.

Meng in the image was completely alone with a small smile of her face while her hand endlessly clicked on a mouse. It was the first day she didn't feel alone, the first day she found Defying Moonlight and read about Feng Qi. 'Yes. It is worth it.

———-

With that thought a change seemed to go through the entire castle. Some felt a threatening chill go down their backs, while somewhere in a dark library an old man had a light shinning in his eye.

Sure, his disciple might be a bit of a Psychopath, who could possible turn around and attack him at any moment. However, with talent like this it would be a shame to let it go to waste.

"Who cares how many she killed! This old man recognized her as his disciple, I've never been wrong about that." He grumbled to himself in an attempt to make himself feel better after sulking all day.

————

Withdrawing her hand from her face, she looked up the stairs that led to the main castle. Meng turned her idol dumb, therefore she couldn't be unfaithful and run off without taking full responsibility.

With a refreshed brain she took her first step. If Feng Qi started to bring up memories she never wanted to think of again, she just needed something else to preoccupy her mind.

...

Meng reached her room and tossed the torture belt on to the bed. Then walked to a mirror drawer before pulling it open. Inside of the drawer were pieces of papers with names on them. Meng looked through the papers before helplessly grabbing a bunch.

"Maid!"

Meng sat down on a chair in front of the mirror in a relaxed manner.

Rushed foot steps entered her ears as Su Lou walked in from the hallway.  The ghost like Su Lou entered with a complexion as pale as the dead and an emotionless face. Her dingy clothing only made her resemble a ghost even more.

"Yes Princess." The Maid did a shakily full bow to the ground without her arm.

"First, what is your name?"

"This servant is called Su Lou."

Meng looked back through the papers before finding Su Lou's slave contract. Separating it, she placed the others back into the drawer.

"Now, I have a proposition for you Su Lou."