8 Chapter 8: Happy

Friday, Kale and I decided to talk about my request.

"So what is it?" he asked after drinking his water.

We are here again at our usual lunch spot. Before we go here, I told Noe and Aly that me and Kale will have lunch together. They seem confused but they didn't say anything. I think they're cool with it.

"Help me..." I gently looked at him. "I want to be free. Help me break free from my chains," he looked so dumbfounded.

"And help me find my dream."

Kale looked at me softly while crossing his arms above his chest.

"I didn't expect that you will take seriously what I said last time," he grinned, even his eyes looks like teasing me too.

"Dude, it haunted me all day!" I answered, letting out a laugh.

He chuckled too.

"So..." I'm getting nervous. "W-Will you help me?" I thought this would be easy.

"What's in it for me?" he cockily said.

Right. What would he even get if he helps someone like me. Why did I even think that he will help me?

I bow my head down with what he said. I couldn't give him any answer.

"I-I don't know." my voice came out to be despair.

"Grant me one wish in the future. Any wish that I want."

That's easy. I guess.

"Do we have a deal, then?" I asked.

"Deal."

We finished eating, after that, we both stare outside. It's still early and our first class this afternoon is vacant for today. The teacher had a flu, that's what our class president said.

"Now what?" I looked at him.

"I don't know," he laughed. "I honestly don't know how can I help you. I don't even think about what I'll do tomorrow. This seems harder than I think it will be."

"Geez, I know..." I agree with the last sentence. "How about you? How did you know your dream?"

"I don't know... One day I woke up and that came into my mind," he said, glancing at me sideways.

I kept on staring at the people outside.

How 'bout them? Do all of them know what their dreams are? Is there someone like me who doesn't found their dream yet? How do they cope up?

"Hey, Inara."

"Inara."

"Earth to Inara Araceli!"

I got startled with his sudden scream, even other people beside our table look at us.

"Dude, you're spacing out again," he stated.

I've got no choice but to lower my head down.

"If you want to get free from your chains, you seriously need to put an end to that habit of yours," he uttered, concern was evident on his eyes.

"Let's go, you might be late," he stands up first then go to the owner to bid our goodbye.

It's been two weeks now since we made that deal. We often eat together at the same eatery we always go to. At least 3 times a week.

I wonder, every time I text him to ask if he'll eat there, he always say yes. Maybe it's a coincidence, maybe it's his vacant time whenever I ask him. One time, my curiosity got into me, so...

"Are you really a college student?" I asked.

His one brow shot up, "Yeah, why?"

"You look like you got all the time in the world. It's like your classes were always vacant. Somethin' like that."

He chuckled, not saying anything.

We always talk about stuffs and throwing each other nonsense question. Like, "Is 'orange' a fruit or a color?" or "Why cookies are baked and Bacon are cooked?" Such nonsense.

That's why every time I go home, Pops would ask me why do I often eat lunch outside, even on my early dismissals.

In a span of two weeks, I still got those weird dreams. There's nothing in it but voice. It felt like a dark empty room and someone is talking outside.

Within those weeks, I don't think our deal made any progress. I didn't improve at all.

On Friday, while we are devouring our meal, I was surprised when he gave me something.

"What's this?" I asked, looking at the small blue paper bag.

Kale winced, "Here's what you gotta do..." he seriously said. "You will stare at it until it melts so you will know what's inside," he added sarcastically.

Jerk.

I opened it, my brow shot up, my lips slightly pouted. Inside it is a gray colored notebook.

"I've got tons of notebook," I returned it to him.

"What an idiot," he's pissed. "You would not even ask what is that for?"

"Oh, what's the purpose of this?"

"You'll list down all your debts."

What the! I looked at him, my face is void of any emotions

"Just kidding. You will right there," he said the obvious. "You will right EVERYTHING that makes you happy. And the things you enjoy doing, and stuffs you think you're good at, and things you want to do. EVERY.THING. However small it is, okay?" he explained with matching hand gestures.

"What for?"

"Maybe. Just maybe. Maybe if you read it one day, you might figure out what you want to do with your life."

Wow, what a nice tactic. I nodded like a good little kid.

I open the notebook, it's simple. I like it.

Ash gray is the color, there's a phrase written at the cover, "Ad astra per aspera." I know that. It's a Latin phrase meaning, "A rough road leads to the stars," or "Through hardship to the stars."

When I got home, I eat dinner briefly and then, I finished all my home works and the report that I will present on Monday.

10:45 PM— I finished all the school works. While cleaning my things, my eyes saw the gray notebook.

I decided to go downstairs and bring the notebook with me.

Before I go to the veranda to stay there, I fetch my iced tea on the refrigerator.

I decided to write something tonight.

I divided it into four parts and labeled it the things Kale said earlier.

Things that makes me happy.

Things I enjoy doing.

Stuffs I think I'm good at.

Things that I want to do.

Things that makes me happy.

Road and streets

Pops and my family

Aly and Noe

Color gray

Tapsi!

Ice cream

Books

One Direction, Taylor Swift, The Vamps, All Time Low, and 100+ others

I stopped there. The other things—I forgot about it. Hehe. I turned the pages.

Things I enjoy doing.

Watching and staring at the road.

Spending time with my family.

Going out with Aly and Noe.

Eating.

Stuffs I think I'm good at.

Overthinking.

Staring at what I just wrote, I decided to cross it out. I'll do my best to lessen that habit. Maybe I will put something else.

Singing. I guess.

Things that I want to do.

Learn to drive. A motorcycle perhaps.

Road trip!

I stopped writing when I heard someone, "What are you doing there, Nali?" it's my brother.

He's standing beside the door wearing his plain shirt at sweat shorts. I bet he finished work early. Or not. He got his laptop with him as he went close to me.

"You finish your work, kuya?" I decided to divert his attention.

Kuya Ryle shook his head and sat across my seat, "No, I decided to finish it here."

He took a peek at my notebook. "What's that?"

"Umm, I-I... It's... " I can't find the right word to say.

"Chill, baby. Kuya's just curious," he gave me a warm smile.

I let out a sigh. He opened his laptop and started typing some things.

"It's..." I got his attention. "I'm writing the things that makes me happy, things that I enjoy, things I want to do, and stuffs I think I'm good at," I confess, there's no point in hiding it. I'm not even doing something bad.

"That's nice. Did that just cross your mind or what?" he asked while typing something.

"No. A friend..." I lowered my gaze. "A friend told me to do this. My friend said that it might help me."

Kuya Ryle nodded.

"Can I see what you write?"

At first, I was hesitant to make him read what I put in there. In the end, I extended my hand to give it to him.

He looks at the first page.

"This is..." his eyes never left the page where I wrote the things that makes me happy.

"This is good. I'm glad you're happy," he smiled at me. He gave me back my notebook then go back to his work.

Am I happy? How can you know when you are happy?

Happiness comes in different form. Sometimes, it's something big. Most of the time, it's the small things, the small details that we barely notice because it is small.

Happiness is the million little things in our life.

Like, acing the exam, eating ice cream, reading memes, reading a book, watching the sunrise, drinking coffee, watching your love-ones and many things that we usually do every passing day.

I stared at my brother's face, he looked tired.

"Kuya Ryle..." I called for him.

"Hmmm?" he continues to look at his laptop.

"Kuya, are you happy?"

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