Chapter - 2: The Regretful Past

My name is Dev Sharma, and I am 24 years of age.

When I was 5, I got into an accident that caused a head injury. It was treated on the spot, but the real catch came after some time.

At first, I got minor headaches, but after a while, my left hand started to get unconscious and does abnormal activities as it moves on its own and get clenched.

For some time, I ignored it thinking it will get better over time. But as time passed, it got even worse and my whole arm started to go unconscious and move on its own.

One day when I was deep in my slumber something unexpected happened and my whole body went unconscious and started to shake. The next thing I remember is finding myself in the hospital bed.

When I looked around myself, I could see the faces of my parents and their eyes full of tears.

After a while when I get discharged, we go to the doctor to consult. He said that I have a mental disease known as epilepsy.

It is a disease in which nerve cell activity is distributed which can cause seizures.

In my case, I experienced seizures through my left hand.

After knowing about my disease, the doctor gave me some medications and told me to come and consult him from time to time.

In the beginning, I took my medication seriously and took it on time. But as many years passed by, my medication continued.

I was a lot better than before, and my seizures also stopped completely. But as the saying goes, if you gain something you may lose many things in the process.

The effect of medication on my body is a lot worse than I can imagine. It affected my growth rate as I gained height rapidly at that age. It also affected my memorization power as I started to forget a lot of stuff, which is not normal.

So, after consulting with my parents I decided to drop my medicine.

I started to live a normal student life leaving that mental disease aside. For many years I was totally fine and never got any kind of attacks or seizures. Then I decided to join university.

When I got into the university, I decided to take on a part-time job and fulfill my ends meet. But my workload doubled as I had a job and college. Sometimes I got too much work from the University that I had to pull some all-nighters.

Due to that reason, my mind got too tired, and my old mental ailment started to haunt me, and I started to get seizures.

For some time, I just ignored it and kept on living normally. Then one day when I was sleeping, I went unconscious and got a major seizure attack like the one in my past.

But the only difference from the last time was that my left shoulder got dislocated, the one which is the root of the start of my panic attacks or seizures.

This left me in a traumatic state. My parents are now afraid of leaving me alone, so I came back home and continued my study.

I tried really hard to get over my trauma. I tried different kinds of sports or exercises but the only thing I found out was that I was cursed.

When I do anything outdoors or anything too physical, I end up dislocating my shoulder again and again.

I dislocated my shoulder 10 to 15 times trying to get my motivation in my college years.

After that, I gave up on every dream I ever had and started helping in my family business.

But the real shit began from this point. My family owns a shop that is neither too small nor too large and doesn't attract too many customers as it is in the countryside where a small number of people reside.

I thought I would be happy running my family business and doing chores for my parents…

But I was wrong because I wanted to grow, I wanted to create and I wanted to explore, as my ambition has no limit and even, I can't really satisfy this growing hunger of mine.

The hunger for success…

But when I tried to do something, I was shunned by my relatives and family stating the fact that what can a mental patient like me do?

As they all taunted and looked down at me, I kept on trying as I worked hard to grow to achieve something I don't even know.

I just know that I wanted to achieve something in my life.

As I walked on that aimless path my mental illness became a huge giant wall on the path and for the first time in my whole life, I understood the word limitations.

I tried so hard to break free but every time I overwork myself these shitty seizures start to haunt me again and again.

I was so depressed as I have this much ambition, yet I can't do anything to fill this hunger for victory.

I felt like I was imprisoned and cursed at the same time, with chains on both my arms and legs, screaming and struggling to get my freedom back.

But at the end of the day, nobody came to help, and nothing ever changed.

That was the moment when I decided to die.

.

.

.

"Ah… so that was a dream huh?"

I muttered to myself as I thought of my past.

"HA! What did you just say?"

The man sitting next to me asked. I think he is still pissed about our conversation.

"N… nothing, I just had a long dream and was thinking about that"

"Dream, eh? You should try living in the real world, not in dreams kiddo… Hmph!"

The man claiming to be a Dwarf said with a smirky face.

"Ye…a…, I should, by the way, my name is Dev Sharma, can I ask your name?"

"My name?... Gandalf Ashbraid"

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Gandalf"

"Hmph! Whatever"

This is how I met Mr. Gandalf and our journey to Rogerberg town continued.