4 Chapter 4: I Need to Get a Grip

Chapter 4: I Need to Get a Grip

Kiara

It had been two days since the night at the farmhouse. The night where I was drunk and alone with Ethan. That wouldn’t make me nervous daily, but it was making me nervous because we almost kissed each other. I almost kissed my best friend. My best friend.

Damn it.

I stumbled into someone and muttered a quick sorry. I had been zoning out all day, thinking about Ethan and that almost kiss. I could feel the way his warm hand cupped my cheeks and the spicy, musky cologne when he leaned closer, his eyes a turmoil of emotions. I shook my head to erase those thoughts. It didn’t happen and I should be thankful for it.

But why was a part of me disappointed and sad?

A strong hand held my wrist and I stopped to look at the person. Clenching my jaw, I followed him as he dragged me to the nearest empty classroom.

“What the hell are you doing, Liam?” I asked, rubbing my wrist when he let go of me, slamming the door behind us.

His stormy gray eyes were livid. “Me? I should be the one asking you that. What the hell are you doing with Ethan?”

Nothing. Yet.

Scolding my mind, I crossed my arms. “What do you mean? I’m his best friend.”

“Best friends don’t hide things from each other.”

Ignoring the pang of hurt, I snapped, “Best friends also don’t betray them by kissing their girlfriends and have sex behind their backs.”

That shut him up. I walked closer to him and pushed his chest, my eyes gleaming with tears. “You betrayed Ethan and me, Liam. If you didn’t have any feelings, then why would you ever—”

His eyes averted to my lips and trailed back to my eyes. I hastily wiped the tear because I didn’t want him to know that what he did had affected me.

“Did you tell Ethan about us?”

I scoffed, “There was no us. And why would I ever tell him about that?”

“We kissed, Kiara,” he said. “When you . . . when you—”

I clenched my jaw. “Don’t you dare say it.”

His eyes softened and he stepped closer. “You have to tell him, Kiara. This would break him.”

“Which is why I am not going to tell him. He would blame himself and pretend he is happy.” I took a deep breath and said, “Our kiss meant nothing when you decided to have sex with Ariana while she was dating Ethan a-and I hate you for that.”

I pulled away from him and didn’t look back when I walked out of the empty class with my heart broken and the memories of that evening flashing in my mind. We did kiss, but I was not going to burden Ethan with that useless information.

***

With my forehead leaning on the book, I groaned and hid my face with my arms. It felt like someone was hammering the back of my head. Repeatedly. Why did I think it would be a good idea to write three thousand words at three in the morning? After talking to Liam, I had cried in the washroom. Sadly, I had to sit in calculus and now I was ready to explode.

A warm hand lay on my palm and squeezed it. “Are you all right, Bella?” he asked, his voice deep and husky, sending shivers to the most sensitive part of my body.

I gulped and raised my head to look at him. He was sitting across from me with a frown etching his handsome face. It should be illegal for someone to look this good.

“I am fine,” I murmured with a small smile and held his hand, the warmth tingling in my palm.

Katherine swallowed the contents of food and asked, “What happened, Kia? Long night?”

Yeah, you could say that. I had been imagining the worst-case scenarios if we had kissed and what would’ve happened the next day. But to my surprise, Ethan was acting like he didn’t ask me for a kiss. He was perfectly calm and collected while I was a nervous mess, ready to jump and run away if he tried to talk to me.

What the heck was happening to me? I had never been like this before.

“Yep, stayed all night and wrote some stuff because I couldn’t sleep,” I said, raking a hand through my hair.

“You don’t have to wait for me after school.” Ethan said, “You should go home and get some rest.”

“You can’t!” Volt yelled, sitting beside me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders to give me a side hug.

Ethan glared at him. And the arm that was around my shoulder.

“Why not?” I asked, pulling away from his aggressive hug.

“We are meeting at the farmhouse.” Me and Ethan straightened at the mention of the farmhouse when Volt added, “Do you guys ever read our group texts?”

“I don’t like to stare at four images of the good morning every night at twelve,” Ethan said and took a long swig of the orange juice. I stared in awe as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down with each gulp.

Katherine nudged me. “Stop eye-pussying the poor guy!”

I hid my blush and looked down at the fantasy book I was reading before the headache took over me.

Volt asked, texting furiously on his phone, “You guys are coming, right?”

My best friend whispered in my ear, “Someone is coming all right.” This time, I nudged her ribs, glaring at her.

“I am in,” Rio said, munching on fries from Ethan’s plate.

Katherine turned to me. “I’ll go if you go. I can’t handle these guys alone.”

Alice had her cheerleading practice, so she wouldn’t be present and I would be saved from the lecture of ‘Vivian this’ or ‘Vivian that.’

I faced Ethan. “What about you?”

Rio leaned on the table and said with a cheeky grin, “You know that farmhouse has a pool too.”

Ethan looked at Rio like a five-year-old on Christmas. He loved swimming and if he could, he would never get out of the pool.

I grinned. “Okay, Volt. Count us all in.”

I hoped going back to the farmhouse wouldn’t affect our friendship. But I really wanted to know what was going on inside Ethan’s mind when he had asked me for a kiss when we were sloshed.

***

The headache didn’t go away. If it was possible, it became worse.

I massaged my temples when Volt, Rio, and Ryan’s friends, Carter and Samuel, started a fistfight, every two minutes screaming at the PlayStation. Volt was sporting a black eye, and Rio and Samuel had nosebleeds from the random punches.

Man, boys are weird.

By the sound of high-pitched giggles of my friend, I knew Ryan was keeping her busy in the kitchen. I smiled when he teasingly whispered something in her ear, making her laugh, and they started making out. Shuddering, I quickly looked away.

Ethan was sitting on the other couch, completing his homework so he could focus more on his swim practice. He was wearing his study glasses and I smiled when his tongue occasionally poked out of his lips to lick them when he calculated the answer in the calculator. One of the strands of his hair fell down when he was writing on his notes and I had the same urge to go and tuck it back.

I shook my head. No. I can’t have these thoughts about Ethan. I should have brought a book or my laptop with me, but we came directly here after Ethan and Rio’s swim practice. I looked out of the glass doors, at the swimming pool. I could use some fresh air.

“I’ll be outside,” I muttered to no one and made my way to the pool, which was in the backyard where no one could see or disturb me. I would probably swim for a while.

“Hey, Kiara.”

I stopped and my heart quickened when I turned toward him.

“Can I join you?”

Hai Bhagwan.

I smiled. “Of course, Ethan. I’d love that.”

I could feel his burning eyes on me when we stepped outside the glass doors, cool breeze brushing against our bare skin. Ethan slid the doors behind him. I swallowed the lump in my throat when I realized no one could see us from the living room or the kitchen unless they walked out here.

We were completely alone. Just like that night.

“Are you going to swim?” I asked, removing my shoes and sitting on the edge of the pool, dipping my bare legs in the cold water.

His tall frame loomed over me and he sat beside me, following my actions. “Probably later.”

I swayed my legs in the water. Even though I had naturally tanned skin, thanks to my Indian genes, Ethan had a darker skin tone than me. I wondered how we would look pressed against each other. I bit my lip to stop my imagination from wandering too far and thinking of my legs wrapped around his strong torso.

I studied his profile and his eyes were trained on our legs floating in the water. With a small kick, a few the water droplets fell on his clothes and I hid my smile. He looked at me and did the same, water spraying over my black skirt and sweater. I giggled and swayed my legs harder so his pants were wet with water.

Uh-oh.

“Ethan!” I shrieked, a bubbly laugh escaping my lips when he held my wrists in his one hand and leaned closer, about to push me in the pool.

He grinned, his green and blue eyes glinting with mischief. “Would you like to swim, Kiara?”

My eyes widened in disbelief and I whispered, shaking my head, “Ethan . . . you wouldn’t. D-don’t do it.”

I tried wrenching away from his grip, but he smirked and I held my breath when he pushed me inside the water, my body downing in the pool and water gurgling around me. My skin prickled with the icy cold water as I surged up on the surface, moving my hair from my face and glaring at my best friend, who was busy laughing at me. Jerk.

“I didn’t peg you as a jerk, Ethan,” I snapped when he easily lifted me from the pool even though my wet clothes were weighing me down.

He snickered, his cheeks flushing when he handed me a towel. “You started it, Bella. Don’t blame it on me.”

I sighed and shook my head when the skirt and sweater stuck to my body. I didn’t have spare, but I hoped Ryan would have Katherine’s clothes in his room, which I could borrow. Dripping with water, I sat beside Ethan, who was staring at my wet clothes that stuck to me like a second skin.

“So, what are you thinking about?” he asked, clearing his throat, and looked away.

“You.”

“I hope you’re not thinking about pushing me in the water for a payback.”

I snickered. “The thought did cross my mind but no, I was not thinking about that. I was thinking about Monday night.”

He straightened and clenched his jaw. “What about Monday night?”

The air changed and there was a noticeable tension hovering around us. I shivered when the cold breeze kissed my skin and tingles shot through my body. I think being pushed into the cold water gave me a confidence boost when I said, “About the kiss that never happened.”

Ethan didn’t reply and I turned toward him. “Ethan, you asked me for a kiss.”

His eyes sliced over me. “And you said yes.”

“I did,” I said. “And I would if you ask me again.”

He took a sharp breath. “You would?”

“Why would I ever deny?”

Ethan took some time to reply because he was busy staring at my lips. His tanned neck flushed when he was caught. I smiled.

He finally said, “Maybe . . . because you are my best friend?”

“But that didn’t stop us from sharing our first kiss.”

He looked at the water as it waved gently, lapping at our legs, and I decided I needed to get out of the wet clothes, which were starting to itch my skin. I bit my lip and glanced at him from the corner of my eyes. Ethan ran a hand through his wavy black hair—fuck me. They screamed hold-me-while-I-eat-your—

Stop. It.

“We were drunk, Kiara.”

“Okay, fine.” I stood up. “If you don’t want to kiss me then . . . let’s swim.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Naked.”

“What?”

“I always wanted to try skinny dipping.” I pursed my lips and said, “And I really want to get out of these clothes.”

When I thought about it, I wasn’t feeling self-conscious about my body when it came to him. Yes, he had seen in me in bikinis and accidentally walking in when I was busy writing something on my Post-it in my underwear and bra. But I was never self-conscious about what he would think of me or my body. I did have stretch marks, but I wasn’t uncomfortable about them. What I was most worried about was myself. If he got naked and my hormones spiked up, I didn’t know if I would control myself and not jump on him.

Gosh, I sounded so bad in my head. Not to mention, my best friend would be the first guy I would ever see naked. Way to go, Kiara.

His voice was strained when he said, “What if someone catches you . . . me, both?”

I moved my damp hair over my shoulder. “We will be in the pool, Ethan. And no one can see us from the living room.” I smirked when I said, “Unless you want to watch me while I swim, you can stay here.”

The thought of Ethan watching me with his intense green-blue eyes while I was swimming naked in the pool sent a delicious shiver down my core.

His eyes darkened and he looked away, probably thinking the same when I noticed red blush creeping up his neck and making his ears and cheeks flush. Cute.

I prodded, “Come on, Ethan. Don’t be a chicken . . .”

“Fine.”

He stood up, his tall frame towering me. I forgot how to breathe when his dark eyes seared me, slowly trailing down my body as if he had all the time in the world. His voice was rough when he said, “Remove that sweater first.”

I raised my eyebrow at the sudden change in his demeanor.

Ethan said, “You have an extra piece of clothing than me.”

I grinned. “Who said I was wearing any underwear?”

I loved the way his pupils widened in shock, surprise and then they were clouded by scorching desire. Biting my lips, I whispered, “I was messing with you.”

Holding the hem of the sweater, I tugged it up and removed it. I straightened my damp hair and shivered. But it wasn’t because of the cold air.

His eyes averted down my breasts, which were barely covered by the ivory lace bralette. As it was wet, he could easily notice my hardened nubs, which were begging for his attention.

We were crossing a dangerous line right now. And I knew neither one of us wanted to step back.

“Your turn,” I managed to whisper.

Ethan didn’t need to be told twice. He removed his dark blue shirt in one tug and even though I was used to seeing his naked torso, my breath hitched in my throat when I gazed at his bare abs standing so close. I could make out every ripple of muscle and the way they moved and relaxed when he threw the shirt beside my sweater. I wanted to step closer, press my body against his and explore every inch of his body while he kissed me.

Licking my lips, I watched his eyes when I moved my hands to remove the black skirt, unbuttoning the buttons on the hem. Taking a deep breath, I let my skirt fall down and pool around my ankles. I stepped out of it and looked at Ethan, who was blushing when I caught him staring at my body even though I wasn’t matching.

His eyes lingered on the hem of my black cotton thong and looked at me as he unzipped his pants. I watched him tug downs his pants past his V-shaped hip bones. I wondered what I would do if I was the one removing his pants. He was wearing black boxers and a noticeable semi-hard bulge.

Oh, fuck.

Was that . . . could it be?

My cheeks warmed when I looked up at him, his hair tousled and eyes hooded. Ethan’s eyes never left my brown ones when he said, “Remove the bralette, Bella.”

What happened to quiet, innocent Ethan?

With a shaky breath, I unclasped the bralette and let my breasts free, removing the straps and throwing it away with our clothes. I trembled when his eyes landed on my bare chest. I bit my lip, watching him rake his eyes over my breasts, making my dusky nipples hard as pebbles when he licked his lips.

I resisted the urge to touch myself and give him a show.

Get a grip, woman!

Grip—where?

Gah!

I took a deep breath and tried to calm my thundering heart when our bare chests were a few inches apart. If I wanted, I could press myself against him and lean on my toes, kissing him on his lips, which looked very inviting.

When I finally found my voice, I said, “Remove your boxers.”

“Together?”

“Together.”

Hooking my fingers around the thong, I slipped it down my legs and threw it away, completely baring myself in front of my best friend. This is it. Now there’s no going back.

My breath hitched in my throat when I glanced down at him and averted my eyes to his face. We were both blushing . . . but goddamn. I would have a boner right now if I had a dick.

I was speechless and standing naked in front of Ethan. I didn’t know what to do. Maybe I needed another push in the cold water to calm my nerves. So, I did just that. I linked my fingers with his and, smiling at him, we dived in the cold water together.

***

We were laughing and splashing water on each other and swimming in the pool, enjoying ourselves. Ethan was maintaining his distance, not touching me anywhere inappropriate even though I wished he would. But I could feel his intense stare on me while I teased him with a backstroke just to get his attention.

Unfortunately, Ethan Kane had a great amount of self-control for an eighteen-year-old.

Splashing water on his face, I giggled and swam away when he glared at me. I felt his warm hand wrap around my ankle before I could swim away from him. I let out a squeal when he tugged my body toward him. His hold was strong but gentle. I was huffing with breath when he stood across me, his hair wet and sleeked back, his jaw and cheekbones sharp, his full lips begging to be kissed. Especially when he stared at me like that.

Ethan’s eyes were like galaxies, one green and the other blue, creating swirling chaos of emotions that I wanted to drown in them. I shivered when he pulled me closer, my soft breasts pressing against his chiseled body. Trailing my palm over his beating heart, I cupped his neck and held on to his strong forearm when he brushed his fingers over the spine of my back.

We smelled like chlorine and something musky. The water slowly lapped around us in small waves when I leaned toward him, my fingers digging on his forearm when he cupped my jaw. He made me look up at him, the pad of his thumb brushing over my bottom lip. My body was thrumming with the need to be touched and kissed. My stomach was coiling with desire and my legs were shaking when he gazed at me like he wanted to devour every inch of me.

Like he was hungry.

A soft gasp left my lips when I felt him poke my inner thigh, so hard yet soft. My cheeks flushed and he shamelessly stared at me and my lips. I arched toward him, completely pressing myself against him until I could feel goose bumps on his arms.

I whispered, “Ethan.”

“I want to kiss you, Kiara,” he said, his voice lowering down an octave and sending delicious shivers down my spine, making my toes curl.

Taking a deep breath, I traced the hair on the nape of his neck and said, “Kiss me.”