1 To Be Truly Stranded
Getting stranded is one of the worst situations anyone could be in, I tell you. I have been stranded a couple of times before but the most recent one allowed me to gleam an inkling into how Robinson Crusoe felt when he was marooned on the island. Sit down and relax while I tell you all about it. Do note that most of the places mentioned in this tale is Abuja, my beloved city.
It so happened that on this very day, I left home with a little less than a thousand Naira (N940 to be exact) in cash. My wallet might be low in cash but I didn't exactly mind because what I do have covers my fare to the office and back home. Worst case scenario, I would just use the ATM. This was my thinking before leaving home. The trip from home to the office was uneventful. All the 6 hours I spent at work too did not cause me stress. I even set up a little hangout with two of my friends (we agreed to meet at Jabi lake park).
My day was looking to be stress free. That is until I went into my boss's office to say goodnight (it was 4:30 pm and I couldn't wait to see my friends). That was when my luck ran out.
Me: Sir, am heading out.
Boss: That's good. See you tomorrow.
Me: Thank you sir. Goodnight.
Boss: Goodnight. Oh, Hold on, there is something I need you to do for me.
Me: (oh oh)
Boss: I need you to go change this money for me. Credit the it to my account and notify me when you are done.
Me: (shit). Sure sir.
Fuck fuck fuck. I did not plan for this.
I took the money and hurried out of the office before he finds some more errands for me to run, all the while berating myself (why did I even go in to say goodnight and where am I supposed to find a Bureau d Change). I took out my phone to check google maps and with a search for Bureau d Change, I was able to locate a couple. The closest one was located at Wuse 2. There was no way I was getting there without a drop (I do not know the route so Along was totally out). I put a call through to my friends, they were both not at the park yet, so I decided to go for my errand first. Please note that at this moment I had N500 only in my purse. I still was not bothered. I secured a cab for N400 leaving me with N100. Still not bothered.
It's past 5pm and luckily for me, the Bureau d Change was still open. Unluckily for me, they where out of cash and have exceeded their transfer limit. At this time, my friends were already forming vex (they are close to our meet point and do not appreciate the fact that I was not heading there yet. We do not like to wait for one another, you see). I was not even bothered about them because I was sure they are not as close as they seem to claim. Having it in mind that the money I had on won't be enough (the minimum an Abuja driver will take you for, regardless the distance, is N200), I strolled to the ATM. It was empty but the security guard assured me that the machine was dispensing. Majestically, I took out my wallet, opened it and....
What the hell!!
My Card is no where to be found. Under 1min, I have scattered my purse and bag, quickly coming to the conclusion that, I am fucked.
Now let's make a quick calculation.
1. I have only 100 bucks
2. Transfer is not possible (don't even ask why)
3. My friends are not at jabi yet so taking a drop and hoping they will pay is too much of a risk.
4. For those of you that are wondering; no, I do not have someone I can call to come pick me up. No Bf, no significant other, no one is mumu'ing for me. I am not dating anyone and no one is dating me.
5. Did I mention I had only N100?
This was a dilemma. At this point, I have started to panic so I tried not to make it worse by worrying about where I left my card, instead I took note of my bearing. I needed to get to Jabi Lake from Wuse 2 (that is where my friends will be). Luckily Banex Junction was not so far away (do take note that on a normal day, this distance would seem really really far). I started devising a plan as I walked towards the junction. I know once I get there, I could board a vehicle (public taxi popularly known as Along) for N50 to Next Cash and Carry Junction and from there board a keke (tricycle) that will take me to the Park for N50.
Voila, peace of mind is restored.
In line with my plan, I boarded a vehicle at Banex and stopped at Next Cash and Carry. There were over 5 Kekes parked at this mini keke bus-stop. Now am in a hurry to meet with my friends so they can comfort me and also, the clouds have began to gather (summer means nothing to Abuja weather I tell you). I walked to the nearest keke with my N50 and the following conversation ensued:
Me: Jabi park
Keke Driver: Jabi garage?
Me: No o. Jabi Lake Park.
Keke Driver: enter this one (he has Hausa accent, so include that when reading this)
Me: how much?
Keke Driver: N100
Whaaaaaat!!!!!
Me: no be N50? (whenever am short of cash, I become an expert bargainer)
Keke Driver: no o. Na N100.
Ok, am confused. This was not how it was supposed to go. What to do. What to do. What to do. (just a little self-respect was keeping me from screaming. Or crying). I just stood there, looking dejected while the keke driver turned to continue a conversation with a man I take, is the bus-stop Agbero (he was calling for passengers and checking tickets. I have no idea what else to call him, sorry). After 5mins of internal panicking, I decided to take matter in my hand and walked up to them.
Me: how much to Kado Estate (it's pretty close to the park + chances are my friends would be there by then. They can pay for the rest of my trip).
Keke Driver: where for Kado estate?
Me: anywhere weh N50 fit carry me reach.
Bus-stop Agbero: na there you dey go?
Me: no, o. Na Jabi Lake I dey go but na only N50 I get.
Bus-stop Agbero: eyya ....
The Bus-Stop Agbero and the driver started conversing again, in Hausa. I didn't understand shit but I got the jist. Agbero is trying to convince the take me but the driver won't take me for N50. I was just about to take out my phone and call one of my friends when the agbero said;
"No worry, one keke go soon pass when go carry you for N50. "
With the magnitude of gratitude, I felt for him at this moment, I could have easily sworn fealty to him if I where a knight. It would have gone somewhat like 'I, Affie Ibro, first of my name, sworn-knight to the Willow Queen and Hero of the Realm is very grateful for your help. I therefore swear my fealty to you. My arms are yours to use. You will always have my protection. Call me day or night and I will be there to serve you, fight for you and protect that which is yours.' (please ignore this. I fault it on Too much October Daye Novels).
Not more than a minute after he made his proclamation, a keke arrive. He spoke to the guy in Hausa and said to me.
"oya, enter this one. He go carry you go Jabi for N50."
Better words than this, I have not heard all day. I was so grateful I could hardly say a word. Just kept on waving like a fool (or a princess practicing for her coronation).
So, that was how the bus-stop agbero, a stranger rescued me. He had no idea what my circumstance was and he still chose to assist me. Even though looking at the both of us, I looked more like the one liable to help. Life is ironic like that sometimes. It finds a way to burst our bubbles so we can see clearly where we are heading to.
I got to the park in time to meet my friends already waiting. When I told them my story, all they did was laugh and try to beat my sob-story (one even related how her keke ran over a cat this morning. They can't even let me win the "most unfortunate" for the day).
Oh, before I forget;
Me: sir, I was unable to make the exchange. They have reached their transfer limit for the day and have no cash at hand. The second place is closed (lie)
Boss: no problem. You can always do it tomorrow.
Reaallyy! And you couldn't just say that before I left the office?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Lights Out.
