6 The Letter

It is one o clock in the morning and Cathy cannot sleep. After all, how could she sleep? Only a week ago, she was out at the mall with her friends shopping for the Italian honeymoon getaway. A week ago she was burdened by trivial decisions. Whether to buy a swimsuit from Target or H&M; to buy Gucci or Versace sunglasses. A week later and she finds herself tossing and turning at midnight. The fact that it disturbs her beauty sleep is of very little importance, it is a foreign concept. She cannot stop thinking about what her mother said on the phone. Yet again, and on the flip side of the coin, she cannot stop feeling what she's feeling. That Nathan is in trouble. 

Inside of her is a raging war between what she feels and what she sees. It's like her brain and her heart are at war. It is a war that leaves her mouth foamy and causes her heart to beat faster because of the anxiety. She suddenly brings herself to an upright position, leaning against the bed frame. She dresses in her robe and decides to go out of the hotel through the foyer to get some fresh air and clear her mind. After all that has happened, she isn't sure it will help but she cannot help but try.

She descends the elevator and before she heads outside through the foyer, she is greeted by Maria. "Signora, how are you? Did ze Polizia find yourr, eh, husband?" Cathy feels touched by her concern as she responds softly, "No Maria. They didn't, but thanks for asking"

"Oh signora, I'm sorry. Maybe you try the embassy. They know what to do" exclaims Maria.

It is the same thing her mother told her, she thinks. She proceeds towards Maria's reception desk "Maria, would you please book a shuttle to the embassy for me in the late morning please? Ten o clock to be precise" she humbly requests. "Done" Maria confirms as she turns her attention towards her screen.

Cathy heads towards the pivot exit door simultaneously as someone enters. Someone she had already encountered. The man with the dragon tattoo. He glances at her and his expression is ever so grim. She hadn't felt scared since she left her bedroom but the brief exchange with him somehow heightens the feeling. There is just something about him that makes her feel uneasy, rattled. Cathy quickly brushes it off as she heads outside the hotel towards the fountain with crystal blue water.

Sitting by the fountain brings her mind at ease. It brings about a certain peace and stillness despite the sound of the raging waves from the ocean. Perhaps it is the color of the water that quietens her mind. Perhaps it is the sound it makes or the atmosphere. It could be a blend of all three but something about the fountain and being there brings her to tranquility.

Slowly, she plods away and back into the foyer. Just when she's about to enter the elevator, a pang of curiosity strikes, and she makes a beeline for Maria's reception desk. "Maria, I'd like to ask, who handles the hotel video footage"

Maria looks taken aback but provides an answer "eh, uhm... It's Luigi, our technician. I'd introduce you to him but you just missed him as you were exiting through ze door."

Cathy makes her way up the elevator and into her room only to be welcomed back by feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and anxiety. She misses Nathan. She misses his kindness and humor, how safe he makes her feel, and most of all, his presence. Doubts surface on whether she'll ever escape what has befallen her.

She walks over to the window and settles herself on the rug where the luggage is. Slowly, she unzips Nathan's suitcase. She longs for his warmth. She needs a whiff of his savory scent. To be sane. Just to be sane, she thinks. His dress shirt is the first to pop up as she grabs it and presses it against her nose, smelling his scent once more. Tears stream down her face but the scent of Nathan provides her with a sense of comfort. She wipes her tears with the dress shirt and something catches her eye as she removes it from her face.

Isolated from all other clothing in the suitcase is a pink manilla envelope. Struck by curiosity once again, she unseals the envelope to find a letter among other things. It is addressed to her and in Nathan's handwriting:

Cathy, I'm sorry. I cannot do this anymore. I've fallen in love with another woman.

Like an innocent white dove that has been paralyzed by the raging winds of cruelty and its strength crushed by harsh vengeful forces of nature, Cathy feels weak. She trudges away to the double bed she imagined herself sharing with her newlywed husband for their first night in Sicily. Her whole body knows no sensation but numbness. She feels like all there is to her is just a shell, a shell that even the slightest breeze could blow over and end its existence. She wails and wails. Her body shakes as she clutches the white pillow on the bed.