Another Review from the Author. This time this is not as shameless as the first one since I will address complaints the readers pointed out. I know everyone wouldn't be pleased by this work of mine, however before going in, please read this first. This novel is written in First Person Perspective and with only one perspective which is the MC's. So everything you will be reading here were all taken from the MC's own eyes. His thoughts, what he experienced, everything. He's the source. I also took it upon myself to write while keeping in mind not to self-project myself in the novel. His thinking will all stem from the 16-year old mind who because of a sudden increase in clarity or intelligence or anything you could call it, tends to overthink most of the time. And well, there's also his adaptability so he won't react as you expected on something where one should start asking questions or be surprised instead he will fall into his overthinking habit. This is where the first complaint will be addressed. 'I am weak.' You will be seeing him thinking like this at the earlier parts of the story. He's an overthinker and whenever something happened that's out of his grasp, he will immediately lean on that thought. Of course along the way he will outgrew that thought but yeah, some dropped this before that happened. He started from the bottom and I wanted to show what's going on inside his mind so his mindset at the earlier chapters will stay like that. For the second and third complaints, the Harem and the Side-characters . This is clearly tagged as a harem novel so expect the harem members will be introduced. 'They were introduced but there's no substance in them. What are they thinking? Why did they do that? Why did they fall for him? etc.' As this is a FPP novel, of course, you wouldn't be privy to what the other characters in the novel are thinking most of the time. That's unless they pointed it out or explained it themselves. Though they're introduced, the times they interact with the MC were all situational and most of the time their real thoughts were still not showing on the surface. They're all moving and thinking by themselves in the background even without the MC looking at them, so the next time they will show up in his perspective, bits of pieces of what they're thinking and their personality will be exposed. I used this kind of writing on my first novel as well, slowly unraveling the personalities of the characters introduced. But since some of the characters will be left behind on their worlds and it's still unsure when they will show up again, they will feel flat. I understand that point but that's just how it is. Characters will not immediately open up to him but as their interaction with each other increased, you'll see the sides of them that's not shown during the first time they were introduced. 'Not detailed enough. The description is too bland.' As this is something even I am not confident at. You will feel that his environment were not described properly. I suck at describing things and people but I'm trying to improve it through continuous writing and reading. I think this is everything. For the typo and grammatical errors, I can only ask you readers to point it out for me to fix. I only use Grammarly and Docs to correct the mistakes and surely they're not perfect. If I still missed a point that you feel like its a blunder of the novel, feel free to comment it below and I will answer them to the best of my understanding of my own work. Thanks for reading. :)
Shameless Author 5 star review here. This will be about a guy who's just doomed to be a support character but he'll try to become something more through excavating his ability's potential. Some might find his train of thought as naive even with his supposed enhanced clarity. But yeah that's just how he will think. He'll think deeper about things he knew and then work around it until he come to a conclusion. Most of the time though he will be wrong due to lack of information. Like my previous novel, I'm not confident in my grammar. There will be a lot of error so please point it out if you can, I'll fix them.
This limit thing is dumb, really makes spam be the more likely approach, anyway. The writing in itself is not bad, didn't see many mistakes if any, the rest is the problem, relationships turn from 0 to 100 real fast, a few hours change everything, didn't help to give depth to characters or make said relationships compelling. The Story is somewhat awkward, the development until the point I read didn't appeal to me and was kind of beaten down by how poorly I felt the relationships developed. The characters seem one dimensional, without depth and completely passive to the world around them, "Oh okay I accept being the support of thirty different people in a setting with real danger and with little to no real benefit besides getting a fiance that fell in love with me at first sight." c'mon, I know how plagued by such things the Isekai genre is, but generally, the typical protagonist is not given a choice he's just suddenly in another world and is screwed, this one made a choice, for me it was the wrong one. Finally, the world or worlds were simply not described, left entirely to the imagination of the reader, it'll already be a challenge in and of itself to make dozens of legitimately compelling worlds, not even bothering to describe them will not help. This story is clearly being written by a beginner author, so let me give a little advice, plan a little ahead, give time to your characters to develop themselves and their relationships, and invest in the world you are creating if you want people to like your story. You don't need to describe the texture of the pebble by the side of the road, but what I'd like to know is, how is the school, how do the characters look, do they have a uniform, does the clairvoyant old man have a huge beard, does the bro-con princess have amber eyes?
I tried to read on, but at the end of chapter 16 and I couldn't take it anymore. the MC, despises himself on a level that makes me feel bad. Romance is literally complete rubbish, the girl idealizes it for a vision she had as a child, she meets him as a child and something happens that makes her lose the memories of any interaction with her. the mc realizes that he has parts of his memories blank and nobody explains anything to him about why or what happened to make this happen and the girl knows it and still does not explain anything and continues to idealize it to fit her vision. I drop the novel
Straight to the point. The story is interesting and raises the idea of an MC that will serve as support for the "heroes" to save worlds in order to save their own. Nothing more than mere survival, but it is unlikely that they would risk their necks on other worlds (maybe just the "hero complex") Here we start with the first "stumble" for me. The MC looked promising, logical and conservative asking why would he want to risk his life? That dialogue came from logic, it seemed perfect to me until the "director" gives his daughter to be his fiancée (No money, resources, skills, NOTHING) and the MC accepts ... sigh. Second "stumble" the MC is drugged (actually unconscious) to do a test of who knows what and there they discover his potential for support and kindly ask him (they force him) to accept. Not so bad, right? Well, the relationship with the first heroine has to do with this because she somehow falls in love with the MC at that time. (MC with blocked memories). The MC as a normal human feels uncomfortable with this but lets it pass because she is his "fiancee" ... Third "stumble" MC and his relationships go from 0 to 100, too fast and forced. It is also kind of simple because as long as you are a woman he will not do anything to you. (A princess is constantly insulting and denigrating him and his fiancee who is the heroine who owns the party lets it pass as if nothing happened) I'm sure that if the princess was a prince they would have already eliminated him. (This is the problem of the Harem in general and although I like the harem I have always found this annoying so it does not even serve to justify it) Conclusion: Disappointed. I couldn't get past a certain chapter and therefore the bugs that I found can be fixed later but all of the above made me quit. I consider his other novel much better than irony that it has a better romance and even more logical than this.
This story is actively irritating. The writing is decent, but the author seems to have forgotten that secondary characters can and should have emotions other than adoration towards the mc. While I tend to find harems annoying in general I wouldn't rate a book down for it's choice in genre. But... harems can be a compelling way to tell a lot e story complicated by the number of competitors and complications in a relationship. this doesn't do that. characters are flat and seem to be introduced in their final state with just about zero development. I've only made it to ch 18 so maybe it gets better, however I'm dropping it here as I feel the flaws here are with the foundation, and not the overall story itself. it just feels like the author is feeling up his MC and it makes me uncomfortable.
So ill start with the postives and ill work into the things i think need work You have a good system style for the system genre i like the style of rapid growth with small bonuses collected from multiple worlds style I love your world building so far you could probably be a very talented DM for dungeons and dragons and i respect the quality Your male characters overwhelmingly are well written and varied even the assholeish Second hero Cons- mostly just to deal with the AMOUNT of harem girls you seem to have planned its overwhelming and itll be impossible to even remeber their names i think if you are seriously planning for 60 girls And this brings up the other topics even the “main Wife” vibe character just screams generic harem fodder your female characters need some variance because even the stealth girl in the second world i literally saw the begrudging attraction first chapter after their meeting i can accept fate makes these girls fall for protagonist but it needs some more finesse to not just have the worst self fulfillment fanfic vibe
the basic idea is really fun- What if a school is being proactive to send their student in another world?. Thats the gist of it after i read the first chapter. reading this bovel reminding me of the most used writing style in japanese web-novel: a first perspective from a mumbling protagonist. it's really bland, but you can enjoy the novel if the plot is interesting enough. After all, even the web-novel version of tate no yuusha managed to succeed as the one of the most popular web-novel, even if the description in it is feels rather bland. The question is: is the plot in this novel interesting enough to make the readers ignore its bland description?
Seeing the flag on the cover, I recognized it was one with several aspiring authors with less than desirable English. Fortunately, I don't assume too much, so I read anyway. I was pleasantly surprised. It's a good story overall, and I look forward to more Minor English errors in places, but I think I read less than ten in the whole book that I recall. So that's pretty good. Oh, and I do adore support characters, so it's interesting to me. He's growing op and developing a harem, but no complaints. I enjoy these things when done well. It seems they are being done well to me.