The Ultimate Guide To (Not) Being A Villan [bl]

The truck came speeding at a inhumane speed.

"Oh fu*ck I dropped my novel"

The male was oblivious to his surroundings as he bent down to pick it up. The sound of loud honkinh and flashing lights greeted him as he looked up.

"Oh no. No no no no! Not the cliché transmigration! Let my at least finish this new novel I spent $50 blumming dollars on!"

By the time he thought that his body flew across the street like a ball being catapulted. He hung onto the book in his hands for dear life.

The hard cover book had golden cursive writing written on it with a female surrounded by unbearlearbly gorgeous men surrounding her,"

"Ikemen-sama don't touch me there~"

Yet another victim died at the hands of truck-sama yet again.

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Sora Saeko POV

The pain that once burned like fire had faded away to an icy numbness. Black filled the edges of my vision and the only thing I could hear was my own heartbeat. My breath came in ragged, shallow gasps. Seconds passed as I lay there, then, I heard voices. People swarmed all over me, trying to help me, I realized. They wanted to save me. If I could have, I would of laughed.

 Surely they could tell that it was far to late for me to be saved. I closed my eyes, I could die happily now. My fragile, human heart beat one last time.

In moments I will float like the sea weed, nothing more than flesh and bones ready to decay in the currents. I want to be saved, I want a rescuing hand to tow me back to life, to the world I know...

When I woke up, in front of my eyes was a numerous stars flickering in the night sky.

It was my first time seeing a night sky this beautiful ever since I was born- that impression vanished in just a moment.

A heavy stench that I had no idea where is the source was drifting afloat on my surroundings.

Though I was able to move away by bearing with it, what stroke me next was a pain that ran through my whole body. I groaned in pain while tumbling on the ground but doing so, the pain has just increasingly worsened.

Gritting my teeth, I put up with the pain. I decide to try and process everything that just happen. I scramble inot the only decently looking place to sit, where there was no trash and sat down cross-legged. I fold my arms over my chest.

I just died. I am 30 year old man died. Just your everyday Japanese office worker that is slightly obsessed with isekai novels died. All because I dropped a book nd died by a dumb truck thatn might be known as the infamous truck-sama. Totally understandable

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NOT!

"What the hell. I just got here. Oh my book. I still have it thank gosh! But why is there a second one?"

He picked up the leather book that was smooth to the touch. 

The book was a simple earthy hued cover, warming to the eyes, comforting

The book opened as sweetly as spring flowers. The book was several hundred white pages, each gentle to the fingertips. Only a few pages at the beginning had pages and the last page.

"1.  Die by the hands of truck-sama (well I've already done that)

2.  Reincarnate into the body of a villan with a tragic fate (Well that's what is happening I think right now)

3.  Try to change your fate only to fail miserably and make the capture targets fall for you and the heroine hate you (Oh crap am I gonna die again?!)

4.  Fall in love then take the final step and get married then ma-" (Wait what!?

*Yoinks guide into the nearby bin

"What the hell is this absolute rubbish. I can change fate without this trash."

How did things ended up this way-?

「Oi. Until when do you plan to ignore me?」

Suddenly hearing that voice, my line of thought was cut off.

I jump in fright hitting my head on the wall behind me.

"Shitake mushrooms, sugar honey ice tea for my nuggets blasted ducks!"

My brain stutters for a moment and my eyes take in more light than I expected, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up.

I clutch my throbbing head whining to myself. Swearing at the bastard who scared the living daylight out of me.

[That is so rude of you. How dare you curse at me. Not my fault you got frightened so easily. You were the one who ignored me.]

Thinking about who it was and inclining my head towards where the voice came from, in that moment I forgot about the pain.

I looked up to see no one. Weird.

[I'm down here dummy!]

My eyes dart down to see a small like figure huffing angrily.

「You are?」

「You? What's with that "You*"? How insolent!」

(He's saying it in a rude way)

Even his rebuttal was as expected. My mind was all the more turned into mayhem.

「Finally I got your damn attention. Anyways I can't stay long. Not like I want to」

Tsundere much

[Oi! I am no tsundere. Anyways I'm the goddess whether you believe me or not I don't care. I just threw you into this world since I noticed you like isekai novels and otome game. That truck sama as old as he is likes to act like a little kid. Playing a game of how many things can I run over. Such a headache sometimes, no all the time!]

The boy whom I'd normally never associate myself with said those uncomprehending words. Why do I need to know this, so basically I didn't need to die. That was as painfully as stubbing my toe in a spiky brick wall at full throttle. Not like I've ever done that. Knowing I am not alive in the other world I'm stuck here.

I decide to gather more information.

「Where is this place?」

「The outskirts of the slum area.」

What came out of my mouth was a totally different phrase.

「Slums.. *Shimatta!?」

(*No good)

I collapse dramatically to the ground sliding my palm down my face. 

"Ahhhhhhh~" I slide down the wall. I wanted to cry but no tears came out.

Why not at least a rich villain so I could live comfortably. I almost wan to turn around and leave. Just go sick in the corner and grow mushrooms. Why is my fate so sad. I could feel my heart sink in despair as I rock back and forth cradling my legs. As unshed tears fell down my face.

"WHYY!!!!!! Wahh the money money!"

[You should be happy I'm giving you an opportunity. This villan was the only one willing to give up his body. Although he's already been banished.....]

The face of the said person went from grief to sadness, shock, confusion, despair and oh sh*t. He though he might have heard it wrong.

"Mind slowly repeating that."

[The villan has already been banished...]

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Oh no

OH NO OH NO OH NO!!!!

This should not be happening. He hasn't even started reading the damn book. His destruction and death flags have already been set. What if they chase after him. But he is already so miserable!

The future is an unwalkable road. Even if he tried it would be a journey into a land devoid of hope.

His eyes rolled back as he fainted in shock. Beneath his feet the wooden floor felt soft. His face paled, in disbelief at the new found knowledge.

"I need some tissues for my issues.."