11 Chapter Ten

Unfortunately, an opportunity to visit Roman soon arrived.

"You've got to bring me!" Ethan's eyes glittered.

"What?"

"You've got access to the palace, haven't you?" Ethan tugged on my sleeve, smiling widely. "And you've been to his palace. He told me."

I flushed.

"No."

"Come on, please?" Ethan begged. "The rest of the imperial family for sure won't let me in, let alone tell me where his palace is. But you've been there plenty of times. You know the way. I don't want to look suspicious in front of Medea and the first prince." He whined. As soon as Ethan had declared his ambitions to follow Roman, my father had ordered him to be discreet. Ethan was right. Medea and Ieuan wouldn't give him the directions to Roman's palace without suspicions.

"Well, then looks like you can't visit him. I'm not taking you into the imperial palace." I tried to yank my sleeve away, and then thought better of it. This was lotus silk, after all.

"You're my only hope, Val. Please?" Ethan continued on. "I'll owe you a favor for the rest of my life. Ten favors. A thousand favors."

"Do you even know him that well?" I hissed. "You've spent at most, two weeks together!"

"That means nothing when I've brushed past death with him." Ethan's eyes were clear and serious. My heart broke a little, in the sense that I knew I couldn't stop him. How many times had I ever seen him as serious as this? Only twice before - when he followed Ieuan, and right before I died.

"Fine." I sighed, tugging my sleeve out of his grasp. I'd only have to show him the way, right?

---

"There."

I pointed down the rest of the path, towards the trees exploding with wisteria flowers. "That's his palace."

I couldn't seem to take another step towards it. A part of me desperately wanted to - a part of me wanted to run into those woods and hold him in my arms - sob and ask why he did what he did. A part of me wanted to escape.

"Thank you, Val." Ethan said, grinning. I nodded, feeling defeated as Ethan made his way past the purple flowers.

A dark figure appeared at the edge of the woods.

I blinked and suddenly he was in front of me, eyes wide and worried before embracing me tightly into his arms. I stood there tensely, for a moment, before breathing in softly.

"Roman?"

"Where have you been?" He said it in a breath, heavily. As if he couldn't exhale without me around. He almost melted into my arms, drooping across my shoulders, chest, collar, and I softened into his embrace. "There's so much I want to talk to you about." He nuzzled my hair, eyes blinking and falling shut.

I exhaled a shaky breath as his warmth enveloped me, as his limbs laid across my own like two sheets of paper overlapping. Despite my best wishes - despite my own ruminations - I couldn't push him away. I laid my head against his, gently, each touch full of heartfelt sorrow I didn't have the words to express.

"I think he's sleeping." Ethan said, peering over my shoulder.

I stood straight, blinking past tears and slowly unwound Roman's arms from mine. "Oh, is he?" Ethan took him from me, looking concerned. "Okay. Alright. Please set him down, Ethan."

---

Within another two weeks, I began visiting Medea again.

I didn't think of stopping by Roman's palace. I couldn't even glance at the wisteria. Head held high, I walked to Medea's greenhouse and back out. There were no detours.

In a way, it was to defend Ethan. He hadn't begun personally visiting Ieuan until much later in my past life, but this time around he visited Roman frequently. If it wasn't his palace, then it was the headquarters of Roman's troops. It was far more jarring for the imperial family and nobility. Following Ieuan was granted. Following Roman was dangerous.

I could see it in my father's face, the way the stress weighed down upon him. Even when he berated Ethan, Ethan didn't stop. I couldn't help but worry, watching my father stay up in his office for hours past midnight. In part, my visits to Medea were to atone for Ethan's actions.

So even if I had the heart to, I couldn't step foot inside Roman's territory. That would push us even further underwater.

Ethan quickly became acclimated to Roman's troops and men, rising to be one of Roman's trusted right hand men. He told Arthur and me about it every night - the honorable qualities of Roman's followers, the dilapidated building they were housed in, how his sparring with them went. Despite my joy for him - this was what I wanted, after all - my heart still sank a little.

Roman also appeared to be more active. After that visit Ethan and I made, he hadn't slept under the wisteria as much as before. According to Ethan, he often slept at his study in the military barracks, and his days grew busy with appointments and meetings.

My days grew busy too, as Medea called upon me almost as much as Roman called upon Ethan. I couldn't help but mourn the well-worn path I had to the greenhouse. I did it for Ethan - for the Aediles, but my heart was still full of sorrow.