Learning From Himself

After sitting around and reminiscing, I start to unpack my suitcase only to grasp a towel then placed all of my belongings back in the suitcase.

Before I head to the bathroom, I pulled my phone out from my pocket to check if I had missed calls or text messages.

I only had youtube notifications specifically from my youtube channel which is dead for 2 years, yet a lot of people are still expecting more music from me.

I only uploaded one of my songs, yet they're still supporting and streaming it, hoping I'll come back to drop more music.

Sadly I have not made up my mind about it, and I'm still finding my way back to my real roots, to the land where I can prosper once again after getting lost and messed up.

I flopped my phone across the bed as I walk towards the bathroom, it's almost broken, so why not break it more?

As if my life is not as broken as my phone. It is an agonizing situation, trying to enjoy it as much as possible.

It's okay to be broken cause in that way, the light can shine through the cracks. You will also learn the essence of going through such dark and soul-crushing days.

Bad days are part of the progress, so please don't give up.

Speaking of bad days, I have to take my nice and relaxing shower to wash the negativity off my mind and body.

I draped the towel around my shoulder and leisurely walked toward the shower, steam filled the room as I cut the shower on.

The water pours down onto my head, down to my body, it drips by my side, as my mind fades into dullness, and all of it was a foggy illusion.

As I was taking a shower, my mind wanders off to a place I am at peace, where I feel like I belong, and that is the vast, deep, dark, yet so calming abyss of the ocean.

The ocean has always been my home, and a lot of people describe me as if I am like the God Of The Seas, Poseidon.

Not to mention, I am a big fan of him and his powers. It's so nice being able to control the ocean and being able to communicate with all of the mythical sea creatures.

That's so much power, and I want it for my own good, not for destruction. Although, it might cause some trouble and felonies since frankly speaking, I am a boy full of countless monstrosities.

Along the way, I may hurt the people I care and love so much, but it is not a new finding about myself cause I'm good at hurting and pushing the people I love and care for, who wouldn't if the world is full of people who'll just leave you when everything falls apart.

Am I right or am I right? Hahahaha..

A lot of people asks me on how I am able to motivate myself through bad days, or how I tell myself to keep on going despite the fear of the world obliterating my being again.

To tell you honestly, I'm not a strong person, I really cry a lot. I feel bad most of the time, and I easily get disappointed, but I have to save myself from falling and breaking once again cause I know that I still have this one purpose in life, and I'm searching for it.

Everyone perceives me as a strong and very independent young man when the truth is, I go home, slam myself against the wall.

It has been like that for a long time now, but I never told anyone, not even my father. He tells me that it's okay to cry because all of us has its own breaking point, but for me it's so hard when your whole life is the actual and whole breaking point.

If I was given the chance or choice to never suffer from pain, I would take it right away.

If I was given the chance or choice to forget all the sad memories, I would love that.

In life, no matter how stormy and messy the chaos that you are in, we have to look at the brighter side of life, hoping that things will get better, that the pain would go away.

Pain makes us wiser and stronger. It allows us to grow as persons, and it makes the best version of ourselves.

Hey little fighter, soon things will be a lot more brighter.