Chapter One

TRIGGER WARNING AT THE END (it's not self harm i promise)

"You can't hide forever."

She let out a sigh.

"I know Alex, okay?"

Alex grabbed her waist and pulled her into him. Her brown eyes shined in the dim light from her room and the moonlight. The cold breeze was making her shiver in his hold.

"Elizabeth, don't."

"Don't what?"

She knew this was risky, she knew they both could be in so much trouble for this, but it was all she had ever wanted. He may be fifteen years older but she is too deep in love to see that as an issue.

"You're pushing me."

"To what?"

Alexander grabbed the side of her neck and brought her close to his face. His minty breath fanning over her pale skin. Elizabeth placed a hand on his hip and pulled him closer to her. Alexander took a deep breath, trying to stop himself from going too far. He knew that's what she wanted but he wouldn't give it to her. He couldn't give in to this. But she was moving her body closer to his. Her skirt riding up the smallest bit and it was driving him crazy. She knew what she was doing, and that only made it worse.

"I think you know, sweetheart."

His grip tightened just a hair, but enough for her to gasp a bit. She clawed at his bare torso, leaving red marks from her nails.

"Alex please..."

"No."

He whispered. She was then being pushed away from his body, and he walked back into her room from where they were on the balcony. She was left standing there craving his touch but being deprived of it. What a dick was all she could think. But to him, he had just saved her so much trouble. He knew as soon as they kissed, he wouldn't be able to stop. Then they would have to hide it from the king, and Alex can't betray the king like that. He made a promise to him and he intends to keep it. Even if he loves her, he's not taking the chances.

"Alex."

Alexander turns around to see her standing with her back facing him, her head is turned, and hands planted flatly against the wide railing. He could remember times after she had been fighting with her parents that they stood on the balcony, with her sitting on the railing and him standing between her legs while she cried into his shoulder. That was also when she told him she would run away with him if that's what it took. I was where they had told each other that they loved each other for the first time. That -without a doubt- is their spot.

"Yes?"

"Why won't you do it?"

He let out a sigh, knowing it was going to be a long night of a lot of talking.

"Why do you even think it's a good idea?"

"Because who gives a shit what they have to say!"

Alexander scoffed and shook his head.

"Everything we do matters!"

She whipped her whole body around to face him directly.

"You think it matter just because of who I am?!"

"Everything matters because of who you are!"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes at him.

"And you being a multimillionaire doesn't have something to do with it!"

He tilted his head back and let out a small groan. Then brought his face back down and looked her in the eye.

"No! It's not like I have to be fucking perfect all the time!"

He knew Elizabeth hated when people said it. He knew it hurt her, but he had still said it. He wanted to walk out and leave the whole fucking city. But he couldn't, he could only stand there and stare at her as she tried not to let tears spill from her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

She spoke in such a way Alexander wanted to drop to his knees. Calm and apologetically.

"Eliza come on you can-"

"I can and I will now get out!"

Something inside her was stirring. She was mad, she felt tricked. And when she told him to leave, he didn't.

"Alexander go."

"No."

He said. In a calm and assertive tone. Making sure she knew he was not leaving that room.

"Please just fucking leave me alone."

Alexander shook his head and took a few steps towards her. But she put her hand up telling him to stop and he did so. He was far enough that she was able to not feel suffocated by feelings but they still were hitting her pretty damn strong. And for Alexander, he wanted to kiss her right now and tell her he was sorry. He yearned to grab her. He needed it but he couldn't bare to put her through the trouble that came with it so without another word her just turned around and walked out of her bedroom. He made his way down the gray carpeted hallway to his small room three doors down.

"Fucking hell."

He said to himself as he sat down on the bed. His skinned burned with need, he slowly and regretfully grabbed the blade from his nightstand. He slowly brought the blade to his abs, running it up and down them slowly, pushing harder each time until the skin was broken. He let out a low groan as the blood dripped out of the cut. He set the blade down and stood up, about to go to his bathroom, when he heard it.

"What the fuck did you just do to yourself?"

A sweet voice said. Elizabeth was filled with concern, did he wants to kill himself? But he sounded pleased by it.

"Get the fuck out."

He told the princess standing behind him.