1 Prologue

"You are NOT her!"

Like a glass breaking from a fall, a ring slipping from a finger, a key being separated from its lock, and a tree losing its leaves... it hurts. I didn't know that being discarded by your own mate would hurt so much than being separated from them. You're alive but it feels like your soul is being stepped on. You know you're in pain, yet the pain feels so numb that you are aware that it hurts but that hurt itself, made you senseless.

I don't understand.

I am supposed to be crying. I should be crying. That simple sentence...those words itself, is enough to break my sanity. My insides are in rage fighting for the right emotion for me to feel. Amusement, confusion, anger, sarcasm...what? What should i feel?

I am scared. I'm scared because I'm too calm for this situation.

Why do I feel like I'm being wronged? That I should be the one saying those words.

My guts never lie. But I don't want to admit it.

'You are NOT him!' Say it.

Come on Z, say it! Tell him that he is not HIM...too. That you felt the same thing but you just stayed silent...tell him.

I'm scared of my own self because I know that this calmness is way too calm that I might go insane anytime.

"really..." like a mute almost unheard...i fcking hate myself.