52 CH.52

When Lorne came off the stage he offered the microphone to the audience. There were quite a few who tried it out. After a series of dampening wards lit up, they each took their turns of the stage, singing everything from karaoke to poems distinctive of their personal realms. Eventually, Nick's family got up there as one and started singing a Drift Away cover by Uncle Kracker.

When they were done, Lorne gave them his reading and at one point the little girl went to attack him. Ryan appeared in front of them and stopped the wards from killing her. "Be glad you're a child, what you just tried to do would left you skinned alive in front of the audience, I don't know what he told you, but calm down or leave. No one attacks my people without repercussions when you leave here, you'll never be able to find the entrance again. Now enjoy your stay."

With that he left the family at a loss for words, on the one hand, they were beholden to him for saving Nick's daughter and on the other, the news they just got, upset them all. Tara made eye contact with one of them and told them telepathically. (We can't be seen playing favorites when the child attacked, it was seen by all, we can leave it as a warning because the child can be said to not know any better, but you all are still held responsible for it. We are sorry but the punishment had to be public and swift. Don't mention this conversation or it'll get a lot worse very quickly. If you wish to still stay in contact, take a bottle of top-shelf Ambrosia with you. It'll leave us a teleportation point to keep in contact, be sure not to drink it unless you're absolutely immune to alcohol poisoning because a sip of it will kill most mortals.)

The one she had been talking to, went to the bar and ordered the bottle to go. When no one else went up on stage, Ryan took the mic and sat down, summoning a band before whispering to them for a minute. When they agreed the music began. "Oh yeah

Yeah oh yeah

The only ground I ever owned was sticking to my shoes

Now I look at my front porch and this panoramic view

I can sit and watch the fields fill up

With rays of glowing sun

Or watch the moon lay on the fences

Like that's where it was hung

My blessings are in front of me

It's not about the land

I'll never beat the view

From my front porch looking in

There's a carrot top who can barely walk

With a sippy cup of milk

A little blue-eyed blonde with shoes on wrong

'Cause she likes to dress herself

And the most beautiful girl holding both of them

And the view I love the most

Is my front porch looking in, yeah

I've traveled here and everywhere

Following my job

I've seen the paintings from the air

Brushed by the hand of God

The mountains and the canyons reach from sea to shining sea

But I can't wait to get back home

To the one he made for me

It's anywhere I'll ever go and everywhere I've been

Nothing takes my breath away

Like my front porch looking in

There's a carrot top who can barely walk

With a sippy cup of milk

A little blue-eyed blonde with shoes on wrong

'Cause she likes to dress herself

And the most beautiful girl holding both of them

Yeah the view I love the most

Is my front porch looking in

I see what beautiful is about

When I'm looking in

Not when I'm looking out

There's a carrot top who can barely walk

With a sippy cup of milk

A little blue-eyed blonde with shoes on wrong

'Cause she likes to dress herself

And the most beautiful girl holding both of them

Yeah the view I love the most

Oh, the view I love the most

Is my front porch looking in

Yeah

Oh, there's a carrot top who can barely walk

(From my front porch looking in)

A little blue-eyed blonde with shoes on wrong, yeah

And the most beautiful girl

(Beautiful girl

From my front porch looking in)

Holding both of them

Oh, yeah."

He smiled and told the audience that had started clapping. "I thank you for the applause, but the real thanks goes to the band Lonestar."

With that, he left the stage with the band as Lorne took the stage for his own encore. Ryan paid the band several bricks of gold before sending them home. Buffy walked over laughing while his wives were looking at him with severe lust. Buffy told him."Your kids would kill you if they heard you sing that song. I'm so going to share this memory."

Ryan shook his head and sighed. "They'd understand when they find their own loves. So how's the war going?"

Buffy turned a little serious. "We've slaughtered most of the hell realms around our world now. The innocents were set free and the evil beings were takin down easily enough. Illyria sends her regards for the clone body you gave her. She told me to tell you that the demons nowadays break too easily. She's kind of disappointed at the newer generations of demons. Speaking of which, we've completed destroying all the old ones in the deeper well."

Ryan nodded."That's pretty much all the worries we have for now. Twilights realm will be the last dimension your army will enter near our world. Call me before you enter and I'll help keep everyone alive. Twilight is a living dimension, so I'll have to personally act to crush it unless you call the rest of the council in to help you."

Buffy nodded."I'll leave it to you to deal with, we can't afford any mistakes. I'd better get back to the army now. We've got to meet up with a few of our alternate doubles to help them after we finish destroying the hell dimensions near our world."

Ryan nodded and got back to work, he did a few more good deed for his patrons, ranging from healing a Darth Vader's body to not need a suit to saving a Harry Potter from possession. When the closing time finally came, he told his patrons. "Go and spread word of this place, I offer free drinks to those that bring in more powerful patrons, for a day."

With that, he waved a hand, sending most of them home safely. A God of the supernatural universe stayed seated. Ryan walked over to him and sat down. "Seeing as how you were the strongest being that showed up this time, I'm going to offer you a free bottle of Ambrosia, as thanks for your patronage."

The being told him."Call me Chuck, I'm a God of sorts. I created a small multiverse of my own. I was wondering, what do you do to keep a being like me in check? I've seen you do good, so I can assume you wouldn't kill me or risk destroying a multiverse and all of its innocent lives."

Ryan smiled a Cheshire cat smile."I would lock you away for all eternity in my own personal hell before I unraveled your connection to said multiverse. I could easily ensure they all live because when you stepped into this bar, all your power was sealed away, preventing you from acting against anyone, here or there. Now, I don't particularly care what you do with your creations, so long as you don't try and interfere with my bar or it's patrons. If one of your people came in here, they would get the same treatment as everyone else, including the protection I offer. If you try to prevent patrons from entering or try to move the portal, I'll know and it won't matter where you are, I'll squash you like a bug. I've met my universes Christian God and he gets the same treatment, hell I made a sport of plucking angels of their feathers and flipped him off when I visited heaven, don't push me and I don't strike. Simple right?"

Chuck nodded with a glint of challenge in his eyes. Ryan saw it and snorted. "Good luck and remember to spread the word about my bar."

With a wave, the god was ejected back into his own universe cluster. Willow, Tara, and Phoebe dragged him to their living quarters for a little stress-relieving session. He found that no matter how long he was with them, he could never tire of their kisses.

The next day the bar opened, his first customer was himself or an alternate version anyway. "A witch summoned me to bring her dead lover back to life, she said you told her I'd help."

Ryan smirked."You will, or already have. We don't have the heart to refuse her, no matter what dimension or universe we're from. My Willow blessed me with two handsome sons and continues to bless me with her love each day. If you're remotely like me, you'll find her attractive on some level and help her."

Alt-Ryn nodded slowly. "I helped her as soon as she asked. Anything to stick it to those feathered fuckers. They refused to help us then act all high and mighty."

Ryan nodded."I know the feeling, but you should let it go, they aren't your future. Our race is dead, let them go and see if Willow and Tara can help you heal."

Alt-Ryn sighed. "I guess you would know, I'll try. Maybe if it doesn't work out with those two it will with Faith. She looked hot enough from Willow's memories."

Ryan shook his head." The constant searching left you shallow and a little perverted. I almost pity your world."

Alt-Ryn smirked before ordering a bottle of Ambrosia before leaving. The crowd started pouring in not long after that, several repeat customers came with stronger guests for free drinks.

The Hutt came back with a few Jedi, a couple of Darth Vaders came in with their Palpatine's. Some Greek and Norse gods came in with their followers. And an archangel Gabriel came in from the supernatural universe.

The rest were either new customers or repeat customers that couldn't bring anyone stronger than them. It was interesting to see a few Xander's of varying degrees of power walking around, one of them was even almost a tenth as strong as his Xander. He gave off the same feeling as the sun.

There were quite a few charmed sisters running around bugging his Phoebe while she worked. Ryan laughed when he saw one of the Xander's flirt with his Phoebe before she set him straight.

There were a few small confrontations with the Jedi and Sith, but apparently, both sides had already been warned off of violence of any kind. Ryan only had to intervene when a Tony Stark tried to hit on a Tara and pissed off a former Dark Willow. "Willow, you know the rules, if you want a private booth, take one, they have silencing and obscuring wards on them. Otherwise, it's a hands-off policy unless both sides allow it."

He turned to the drunk iron man."If you can't hold your alcohol or keep your hands to yourself, you'll be banned from here for life. Everyone only gets one warning, the rules are on the wall behind you."

After that, he made a clone do the bartending and sat down in his private booth, helping the occasional customer. The day went by fast with the constant influx of patrons, just when the bar looked full, it would magically expand.

His wives created their own clones to help with the service, halfway through the day his kids showed up carrying a bunch of weapons. He stopped in the middle of helping an ancient one remove her bindings to a Dormammu, long enough to send them to his private booth.

When he finished what he was doing he went to see what they were up to. "So, are you hunting something or going into the arms business?"

Wyatt as the eldest of all the kids that came spoke first. "We've decided we want to be bounty hunters for the good guys. We want to do something that'll take us all over the omniverse, we want to see and meet many people of many races and cultures. And we were kinda hoping that you would give your approval before we asked everyone else."

Claire put it more bluntly. "We want you to say yes so that when we ask everyone else, we can point them to you. Geez, guys, it's not like my dad's that scary."

Chris shook his head. "You haven't seen the images of his past battles that aunt Dawn shows us guys. He's terrifying!"

Claire snorted."As if he'd ever harm you, you big babies!"

Nathaniel raised an eyebrow. "He trained all of us in combat, or did you forget those years?"

All of them let out a collective shudder before Claire commented off-hand. "I must've blocked out the painful ones."

Jackson spoke up."Why aren't you the lucky one? I've spent the last three years trying to repress those memories without any luck."

Raven snorted."I saw your little forgetful spell, mom wasn't pleased by that FYI."

Prue laughed."Like you have any room to talk, you tried the same spell when aunt Jenny gave us the safe sex talk."

Another shudder ran through them, Ryan shook his head before telling them. " You're all grown up now, so I won't stop you if this is what you want to do, but you'll have to leave a tether to me. Just in case you end up getting in over your heads, think of it as a get out of death free card. It'll tell me if you're in danger and I'll be able to stop time at a localized area around you and teleport there to pull your asses out of the fire."

They readily agreed and he made the tethers before sending them to the mothers. Phoebe ended up agreeing to it, so long as they use the bar as a base of operations. They agreed under the condition that they be allowed to take bounties from the good customers that arrived.

Over the next few years, the bar saw a lot of beings pace through its walls and the kids took on a lot of requests. They ended up killing several hundred Thanos's and several dark lords. Eventually, after Buffy's army had expanded far out into the infinite multiverse, they all decided to retire for a while. Ryan left the bar to the kids, under the premise that its rules stay the same and were inforced impartially.

Out of them all, only Wyatt and Claire found a husband and wife, respectively. Claire married a Clark Kent that was passing through one day when they bumped into each other. They hit it off and got hitched almost a year later, Wyatt on the other hand, married a Lady Sif from the drunk Tony Stark's universe.

Their union was more of a heated mating act, Piper had to freeze them both several times before they even got to the vows. Ryan swore up and down that he'd checked them both for outside influences and found nothing. He chalked it up to Wyatt's repressed nature and Sif's more outgoing culture clashing in a battle of lust.

Willow, who had taken a severe interest of her own in a Black Widow duplicate, had found an outlet for her own interest in black leather and redheaded women. Tara and her could be heard at all hours of the day, making their interests known. Ryan had to put wards of the private room they shared during bar hours.

Phoebe eventually joined them while dragging a very busy Ryan into the back with her. Blackwidow herself had made several requests of them to heal her if they could. Ryan had agreed. And after a particularly powerful healing spell, she showed her gratitude by letting him play for several days on end. In the end, she asked."Is it possible I'm pregnant now?"

Ryan shook his head."While I healed you, you're still mortal. I wouldn't get you pregnant without turning you immortal, otherwise, any baby that came from us would be stillborn. Mortals don't possess enough life force to give birth to my kinds of children."

Tara offered while grabbing her from behind and stroking her inner thigh."If you married us, we would make you immortal with us, but be very careful. We share everything here, even memories."

Willow told her after her face went somber. "Relax, it's not that bad, anything you've done or been through, isn't as bad as what we have. I nearly destroyed my world, after flaying a guy alive. Trust me, we've all been through a lot. Even Phoebe here went evil at one point."

Tara spoke as Natalia's breath hitched from her ministrations."I've died and lived inside Ryan's head for several months, I've had my brain drained by a hell goddess and been revived. I've helped slaughter legions of hellspawn. There really isn't much you could show us that we haven't already seen or experienced ourselves."

Natalia spoke while riding a wave of pleasure. "I was an assassin for the former KGB, I killed hundreds of people-"

Ryan entered her with a smooth stroke and picked up a rather fierce pace. After half an hour he let himself go and the entire room was ringing with the cries of his wives and lover. When they were thoroughly sated, he continued. "We already know, you've seen the beings that come to this bar. Most of them are fictional characters even in your world. Well to be more accurate, they are the representation of beings that each universe bleeds through into each other in the form of thoughts and ideas. On our world, we've read and seen many versions of you, Willow here, dressed up like you for Halloween one yea-"

Willow smirked."He means to say he dressed me up like you and proceeded I fuck my brains out, he's had a thing for me in nearly every way we could imagine but that night was definitely one of the most unforgettable, it's also the night I lost my virginity. Though that wasn't entirely all him, he dressed up as Bruce Banner and we were grinding on each other on the dance floor when a chaos mage turned everyone into their costumes. Horny Banner equals really horny Hulk. I came seconds from losing my virginity and possibly my life to a hulk sized dick."

The girls all audibly gulped as she continued. "The spell wore off in time for me to land on his already well-endowed member and slide down. The painful surprise was enough as it was, until I went to get him out of me and found I liked him better inside. He was torn up the next day, to the point of getting wasted and pranking everyone we cared about to take his mind off it."

The Natalia looked at her with a mixture of sympathy and regret. "I'm sure you already know my story, but my childhood wasn't anywhere near as pleasant, not was my first ti-"

Ryan pulled her in a hug. "We know and if you ever feel like telling it to us, we'll listen to it all. My own past isn't like yours but it is horrible on a scale of genocide."

Black Widow was at a loss for words, on one hand, she's had her own horrible past and done horrors that should get her the death sentence, but on the other, these people had actually lived through things just as bad and if what she heard was any indication worse than her own.

She sighed and told them of everything she had been through, starting with her parents selling her to the red room and ending with her time as a hired assassin who blew up a school full of children.

They accepted her for her flaws and triumphs, she told them about her fling with Bruce until he left her for worlds unknown and her time as an avenger. When she finished, they didn't speak, Phoebe just took her hand and read her futures, when she stopped she kissed her and gave her the vision of a possible one.

Natalia Alianovna Romanoff or better known as the Black Widow, cried at the possible happy future she could have. They held her and let her continue until she was ready to talk. "I'd like to take the chance that it works out like that."

The ladies smiled and started their own fun again while Ryan contacted the rest of his very large and growing family to gather them for another wedding ceremony. Several months later a very happy Natalia was seen holding her bulging stomach while helping her new stepchildren file bounty posters in a system she made for them.

After she was done, a few customers made some crude comments and got a light zap for their efforts, from a frowning ex-bartender. She headed to the stage to sing her own song now. It was a lovely cover of Tom Waits, Hope I don't fall in love with you. "Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you

'Cause falling in love just makes me blue

Well the music plays and you display

Your heart for me to see

I had a beer and now I hear you

Calling out for me

And I hope that I don't fall in love with you

Well the room is crowded, people everywhere

And I wonder, should I offer you a chair?

Well if you sit down with this old clown

Take that frown and break it

Before the evening's gone away

I think that we could make it

And I hope that I don't fall in love with you

Well the night does funny things inside a man

These old tom-cat feelings you don't understand

Well I turn around to look at you

You light a cigarette

I wish I had the guts to bum one

But we've never met

And I hope that I don't fall in love with you

I can see that you are lonesome just like me

And it being late, you'd like some some company

Well I turn around to look at you

And you look back at me

The guy you're with he's up and split

The chair next to you's free

And I hope that you don't fall in love with me

Now it's closing time, the music's fading out

Last call for drinks, I'll have another stout

Well I turn around to look at you

You're nowhere to be found

I search the place for your lost face

Guess I'll have another round

And I think that I just fell in love with you."

Lorne took the stage after her. " Let's give it up for our beautiful and talented, Natalia Titan-Romanoff. She's stealing hearts and souls with her songs."

Ryan smiled and clapped with the audience and walked up to her. "You know, if you wanted my heart, all you had to do was ask. Though it's a shared thing, it's still yours as well."

She blushed."I know, I just wanted to express the feelings I was going through for the longest time. I'm finally done here, do you want to go home and give me another massage? I promise to do that trick I do when I'm on top if you do."

Ryan picked her up and vanished before anyone else could see anything, all they heard was feminine laughter.

-Several thousand years later.-

In a private dimension reserved for only the family of one peculiar being, there were hundreds of people present. A familiar group of beings stood up and the male of them spoke. "As the luckiest man here, I'd like to thank all of you, my children and grandchildren, etc. For making me happy and bringing joy to mine and your mother/grandmother's lives. But all things must come to an end eventually, and all beings must move forward or risk stagnation, so from this day forth, all of us are going to spread out among the many universes and dimensions to seek a fulfilling life beyond what we have now. Remember that we will always love you and wish you the best of everything, go and do some good and have your own adventures because we will be doing the same."

Amongst the roaring cheers, The old Titan stepped through a portal to the farthest ends of the omniverse he could reach, surrounded by his smiling wives.

-The End-