687 Dear Ky

Dear Ky,

I don't have much time to write this. There are so many things I want to say, I want to explain but I am not a man of many words. I think you know that… and I can only imagine how you feel after everything that's happened these last few years. 

I never intended to hurt you. It didn't feel like it was even me. I had memories… moments between us that I could remember but only bits and pieces. I couldn't remember your face… I thought it was Prim, somehow she altered our memories. I thought I was born with the dark ones. I remembered your brothers driving us away, even though now, I know it was you and I who escorted them out. I felt hatred and anger and I had no idea why. 

Then, we took the Bazaar and slaughtered so many of our people. I swear I had no Idea Kyera; and there is nothing I can do to fix that now. I can only pray your reading this because I succeeded in stopping the Mamba from ambushing you. Though, it will never make up for what I did, it was at least something I could set straight. 

I got ahead of myself. I found your brush still on the floor of your tent. It jarred something in my mind. I remembered something… that something was wrong with my mind. I wanted to explore it… and maybe I would have found the truth but before I could find the truth, she told me she was pregnant with Rosie. I ignored all the red flags because I had a daughter with her. I didn't want to know the truth. 

When Rosie was born, and I used that brush on her hair, memories got clearer. I felt something come back. Then I found out about the plan to steal your son. I knew that she was a horrible mother, and I was concerned for your child. I went with her and through a process, I ended up carrying your son. 

The child, he changed something. I felt connected to him, protective and Rosie came to adore him. When I realized what she had planned… I felt sick. I went wandering and found my way to the garden. 

I ended up at your brothers tombstones… I guess my subconscious knew what I needed more than I did. They were there… your brothers and Kan, their spirits waited for me. They woke me up. I realized I had been a tool and my heart broke. 

I can't believe how I treated you. I will never forgive myself for what I've done. At least I saved your son. I hope Clovis treats you well and you never know the heartache of betrayal again. I loved you, Kyera. Even when I didn't remember you it was my love for you, twisted and sick as it was that resulted in Rosie. 

Please, find someone to raise my baby girl. I beg you to make sure she is in good hands because there is no one I can leave her with. I am not bold enough to ask you to raise her. 

If I succeed today, I will not return to her, but I will have returned the boy to you. I will have paid for my sins so my daughter does not have to. I hope that I got the chance to see you one more time and tell you this in person, but if not:

Forgive me, Kyera. I love you, and I always have.  Be safe, and walk in the shadows, my love. 

Your loving warrior, 

Verone Softpaw