82 Chapter 82 – Reluctance, slight

Ken’s POV (12 yrs. and 8 months old)

“I’m sorry for doubting your concern for us.” He hugged me, tightly.

*Sniffle*

I didn’t even notice that I was crying.

“Allen, you don’t have to shoulder the burden.” said Wilbert, finally facing our direction and walked towards us, Allen retracted from the hug and look at Wilbert.

“It’s much as our fault as it is yours, like what you said, us six had already known what would happen if Ken is in such a state, but we’d let our emotions cloud our judgement, resulting to what almost happened to us.” Wilbert said.

“He’s right Allen.” I said. “You don’t have to beat yourself up just to take up all the burden on everyone’s back, and such heaviness should never be held by someone like you.” I wiped the trail of tears on my face.

“I’d like to apologize too, if it were not for me going into that kind of sleep, none of this would have happened.” I say, but raised my hand to stop him from retorting. “Upopop, let me finish. How about we share the burden with one another and take responsibilities for our actions.”

“Yes, we agree.” said Saber, on behalf of the both of them.

“And besides there’s no use dwelling on what happened in the past, right?” said Glen, wiping a stray tear from his eye.

“Right, and to move forward bearing with us the things that we’ve learned and use them whenever a similar opportunity arises in the future.” said Celine.

“You guys…” I sniffled again and wiped another tear that fell down on my right cheek. “I know I’ve been saying this so much, but, I’m very proud of you guys.” I went to hug everyone while we all laughed and threw our anguish to the side.

Still recognized, but willing to let go and move on from the thoughts that we know will clog our minds for the years to come, what better way to get rid of it than to forgive the act today, but ponder on it for awhile, until our conscious is satisfied.

I almost got suffocated since Allen has his tail out which wrapped itself around me tightly. The siblings had snuggled themselves and rubbed themselves on me. Glen covered my face with his big ears and with his semi-buff body made it all the more difficult to wiggle out of his grasp.

Celine, Wilbert and I, hugged as if our life depended on it, not the intimate type, just semi-intimate. Once everything calmed down, I stood to the side of Allen as our other friends conversed with one another, reviving the usual cheerful air.

“What about the others, how are they holding up?” I ask Allen, since throughout the hugs, the adults went out on their own, probably to have their own space, while our other four companions are silent at the side.

“I don’t know, but let’s check up on them.” He said, I nodded and approached Flin.

“Flin, are you okay.” I ask, Flin snapped out of some kind of trance, probably he was deep in thought.

“Oh, yeah, I’m okay.” He said, avoiding eye contact with me, but his tails betrayed him, as it plopped down behind him forming one huge downcast tail.

“Oh I know you’re not or are you?” I ask again.

“No really, I’m okay, it’s just that…” Flin trailed, fiddling his hands.

“Just… what?” I ask softly, he looked at me, and I nod at him to let him know that I’m okay for him to say anything on his mind.

“It’s just… Me and Allen… talked about this earlier before he brought it up to you, and I don’t mean to be rude towards you but…” I nod again, encouraging him to continue. He looked down at his feet.

“… I was afraid, of you, and… when you, casted that fire spell earlier, the fear came back full force and I just, couldn’t help myself, to fear you even more.” He said, his voice soft, I look at his quivering form, almost fragile as a glass, as if he’d break if I’d so ever touch him.

“I understand, and from now on, whatever you may think of me in the future, or any decision regarding towards me, I’ll respect.” I say, a soft smile lingering on my lips.

“No, I-it’s okay, really, you don’t have to go so low for me in anyway, I-I don’t mind being around you or anything for that matter.” He said, getting all flustered.

“You sure you don’t mind that someday I might be the cause of your…” I trail. He looked uncertain for a moment, before shaking his head and looking straight at me determinedly.

“I won’t, I’ve learned so much about you and from you, and this time, whether you may or may not cause me wounds in the future, I won’t take it out on you since it will be my decision to bear them on my own.” I smile widely at him.

From then on, I had talked with Riyah, Icarus and Princess Lang, thankfully the three were understanding, but on different ways, Icarus was stuttering and finding it hard to find his words. Riyah was torn between two sides about, her belief maybe.

She didn’t come to a decision, only afterwards she had calmed herself down to ponder for awhile. Princes Lang was scornful as always and spouting righteous stuffs here and there, but she surprised me when she later contradicted herself.

And then she proceeded to tease me of how mature she is being, oh same old same old, wish I could say that to her, but nah, that would dampen her pride even more, and then she proceeded to proclaim that I shouldn’t be a weak rival, I nodded with her.

“Anyway, are you really sure you don’t remember anything of what happened?” Princess Lang asked.

“I’m sure, for every time that happened I have no control over my magic and just like what you witnessed and they said, it would cast different kinds of spells I made or use.” I say, while the group pressed on, almost arriving where the Nature Deer’s live.

“But don’t worry, I’ll find the answers as to why this happens to me, but for now, I’ll take up on the responsibility of my indirect actions.” She nodded to me, Princess Lang is surprisingly adequate when we talk in a more serious note.

“We have arrived.” said Uncle Trunk, as for a couple of meters further, we could see the Nature Deers huddled together, and once they saw us, came to greet us and their leader.

That reminds me, what had he and aunt Coralia been doing while we were having that conversation, I stare hard at him, he noticed me and looked me in the eye, I stare harder, looking for answers. Suddenly a thought flew to me.

I look at uncle Trunk and he nodded. So they understood our situation, that’s convenient, and nice of them too.

We all took a rest that night as almost as we had arrived, everyone found themselves a spot to sleep either on the ground, Allen, Saber, and Lila slept on the trees while the rest were at the ground.

The herd was concerned of how we reacted but I reassured them that everyone was just tired and are in need of rest, I refused the dinner they made for us since we have already eaten earlier, thankfully they were understanding and left me and my group alone.

Leader Granarados took care of the situation later and had commanded his herd to prepare for the night. I could still see the fear in his eyes although he tried hard not to show it. This makes me feel worse about myself.

*Slap slap*

No! Wake up Ken or I’ll slap myself some more for you, all of those things happened in the past already, there’s no need for you to be all over and reminiscing of the stupid thoughts of yours, we’ve already promised to our friends that we’ll make it up to them so we’ll do just that!

But it doesn’t mean that we’re still not guilty just because we asked for forgiveness. No! To come up of a way to reconcile, it will be a hard trek up the forgiveness mountain.

Came morning, everyone was freshened up, I had prepared breakfast since I woke up early, and I made sure that everyone would feel comforted and happy, even if it’s just for a moment. The Nature deers included.

“Syla!” Who’s there? A mountain lion, ran towards Syla and said something, instantly, everyone’s happy mood plummeted down.

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