1 Worst things happen at sea

John was just your average joe. Having recently graduated with a degree in business from the local college, his first job was an entry level position at a shipping company.

The pay and hours were fine. He still had the time and funds to pursue his hobbies due to his parents unfortunately passing away a few years ago and leaving a modest inheritance.

Model ship building was his favorite, he had a collection on the shelves in his room. Fishing was his other joy, it let him relax and forget the worries of life.

John was currently fishing while enjoying being lulled by the rocking of his little rowboat. He had built it with his dad back in high school, and was his favorite memory of his dad.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

A loud sound woke home from his dreaming. Looking around he couldn't spot anything in front of him except waves and in the distance some people where waving at him from the shore. John smiled and waved back.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Much louder, and from behind him this time. The sound almost gave him a heart attack.

Turning around in panic, he saw a cruise ship charging towards him at full speed. It was almost close enough to see its name, and all the people partying on the deck.

John frantically tried to start the outboard motor, but with no success.

"Whirrrrr!"

...

"Whirrr!"

...

Pulling the starter cord with all his might he tried again.

"Whirrrr!"

"Put put put put..."

The motor started and John revved it as hard as it would go. The little boat immediately responded. "I got this!" John thought with relief.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOO"

John turned around just in time to see the name of the huge ship before the impact knocked him out and into the water. It was called "Ship-kun".

...

It was dark and cold, John woke up shivering.

"Ouch it hurts!" He yelled, but a coughing fit stopped him from continuing. Looking around, he didn't recognize anything. Gone were the skyscrapers in the skyline, gone were his fishing clothes, and gone was ship-kun along with its useless crew.

Rubbing his head to soothe the pain, he realized his neat business haircut was gone too. In its place was a dirty mop of hair that was just too short to put in a topknot and too long to keep out of his eyes.

"What the hell?" John paused as he looked around. He was in a dark alley, it was dirty and smelly. Looking down, he realized it was because he was sitting on a pile of trash.

"Where am I? I didn't think the local authorities would allow this level of littering."

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a group of youths appearing at one end of the alley.

"There he is!!! Get him boys!!" One of them yelled and pointed with his club.

"Hey hey hey, what did I ever do to you? I'm not the guy you're looking for. Its nice to meet you all but who are you?" John yelled at them as he scrambled up and started running, he had no idea where he was or who they were.

"You know exactly what you did you thief!" A richly dressed kid retorted, "give it back!"

"What the hell! Who are you to call me a thief! I work for a trading company!" John was desperately looking for a way to escape or calm these nutters down. "Hey hey, I know you teenagers are prone to emotional outbursts, but isn't it a bit much to be waving that knife around? You could get hurt!"

John had a split second to plot his next course of action as he arrived at an intersection. He decided to turn left because he hoped they'd lose sight of him. It didn't work, they turned left as well because they had seen him do the same a moment before.

"Shit! I have an alibi! All I did was a little fishing!" John yelled back at his pursuers.

"I knew it! You did steal granpa's prized arrowana!!" The rich kid's face was purple from anger and exhaustion, his lack of fitness was really taking its toll.

"Well I guess that means negotiations were a fail." John shrugged. He had always been fit, and that hadn't changed thankfully. Looking up he noticed he was near a harbor, suddenly he had an idea.

The angry bully and his group had let up a little in their pursuit. It seemed the rich kid had torn his silk pants while running.

"They'll be after me again soon though, they seem to hate me. I've got to break eye contact," John reasoned. Seeing that he had a chance to implement his idea he scrambled up a low wall and turned to face the gang.

Seeing the angry mob resume the chase, he laughed in triumph.

"Haha! Today is the day you almost caught... shit!!!!" John fell off the wall down onto a pile of fish. Scrambling up again, he was disappointed to see two angry looking guards moving in his direction.

"Who are you?!! Nobody causes a disturbance in our market!!" They yelled drawing their swords.

"Yeah something is obviously wrong with these people" John thought to himself, "best not get involved with lunatics who think they are in some historical drama."

John sped off in the opposite direction but soon encountered a problem. He was running down the pier, but that was a dead end... and there were no boats to steal.

"Ah crap! Where's my escape boat? The plan hinges on there being one." John lamented his bad luck.

The two group of pursuers had unfortunately claimed the end of the pier by now and he was trapped. The two group discussed something quickly before coming to an agreement. The guards stepped back and made way for the youths.

"What kind of guards are you?!" John yelled, "they are obviously wanting to hurt me. I've been framed, this isn't fair!"

John looked around, he was the end of the pier, surrounded by water on three sides. It seemed this harbor was near a swift flowing river, as John could see the small eddies and other signs. Turning around again, John looked at the the approaching gang.

Rich boy #1 and his lackeys we're approaching slowly. He was cornered, so they relaxed a little and smirked as they hefted their makeshift weapons.

"What are you supposed to be, acting like that? Thugs from some low budget movie?" John mocked defeatedly.

"How dare you steal from my family and accuse me of being a thug!" The rich kid yelled, "my dad is chief of the town guard, so you'll either surrender yourself to us and return that fish, or you'll be fed to the fishes in the river!"

"This kid has problems, probably bad parenting." John nodded at his own conclusion. Suddenly something caught his eye.

There was a single barrel right at the end of the pier, from where he was he could tell it was empty and the lid was laying off to the side. "Chance!"

John made a unexpected dash towards the barrel and pushed it into the water. The river was luckily high in this season and it immediately started floating away.

John took one look at the stunned brats, gave them the finger, and jumped into the river with the lid. Scrambling a bit he managed to reach the barrel, clutching it he turned to grin at his disappointed pursuers.

"Go back to your parents and learn some manners, I, your grandpa, have never stolen a fish in my life yet you try to harm me and my good name!" John yelled back at them. Maybe it was the absurdity of the whole experience or the fact that everyone seemed to be larping a little too seriously, but he unconsciously started speaking like characters did in the novels he used to read online back in college.

After floating along a little, John scrambled with the barrel and finally managed to get inside it before turning it upright. After scooping most of the water out, he relaxed a little and watched the scenery float by.

"Now what the hell happened to me?" John thought and retraced the events leading up to his escape.

"I was fishing when a cruise ship hit my boat, next minute I'm laying in trash with a headache and a sack tied to my back, then out come delusional larpers and chase me." John paused for a second and reach behind his head. Yeah there was a sack there, how had he not noticed earlier? Must have been too stressful.

Untying it and opening it up he saw a fancy golden fish. It had large scales, a small "beard" and looked distressed as it flopped weakly in the small amount of water it had.

"Well shoot I guess I did steal the fish!" John facepalmed. "Well I'm sorry you had to go through all that little buddy, and I have no idea when or why I stole you." John reached in and patted the fish. Lifting it out carefully he took one last look at it before lowering it into the river.

"I just fish for sport, no offense but you probably wouldn't taste good. I've heard goldfish taste like dirt." John explained and let go when the fish seemed to have calmed down.

Just as he was about to take a short rest he was interrupted by a noise.

"Ding!"

"Oh yeah my phone, why didn't I check it earlier" John checked his pockets but they were empty. "Huh?"

"Congratulations host for meeting hidden requirement: Start a voyage with a stolen ship!"

"The hell?"

"Congratulations for unlocking the piracy system! You have received:

-System interface

-Magical treasure chest

-Beginner chest x1

Thank you for choosing piracy"

"This can't be happening!" Pinching himself John soon realized it actually was happening.

"Oh well, YOLO! Hey system, bring up the interface!" John realized there a flaw in his logic. This would probably be considered a second life.

"Processing, please wait."

"No way..."

"Local data loaded, pirate data loaded, please select a suitable avatar."

"Now we're talking, give me a good looking first mate please!" John had read about these situations so he was prepared.

"Selected, adjusting to fit local setting, adjusting to fit host's situation, summoning please wait."

...

...

...

"BAWK!" "Success"

John looked dumbfounded at the ugliest parrot he had ever seen. "Don't tell me, Lord sixth?"

"I'm Polly, your parrot interface avatar."

"Ok... Polly the pirate parrot, how original. I'm gonna call you crackers. Bring up the interface Crackers!"

Almost immediately, the parrot hopped onto John's shoulders an beams projected out of the its eyes and created a holographic display that floated in front of him.

"Nice, let's have a look"

————

Name: Jonathan Goldborough

Age: 19

Body: weak and bruised

Fame: 1, the servants gossip about the strange kid who stole the master's fish.

Infamy: 4, some town guards dislike you for ruining today's freshest fish, and causing their pay cut.

Description: confused fish thief known and blacklisted only in a tiny fishing town.

Ship: old leaky rum barrel

Length: 3 feet on its side

Masts: none

Rigging: none

Speed: as fast as the water is flowing

Special: previously used to store rum, this barrel has rich aroma liked by pirates. Sailors find you more appealing, charisma +1

————

"Well, I didn't expect much from the barrel anyway." John sighed, "right the beginner chest!"

"Host is advised to to wait until in a secure location before opening." Crackers interrupted with a squawk.

At that moment John noticed a fish swimming by his barrel. He rubbed his eyes and checked again, yeah, it was still that golden arrowana.

Surprised, John reached into the water to pat it. "Hey buddy, you missed me?"

The looked at him with an oddly human expression of disdain. Suddenly it dodged his hand and bit his arm.

"Ouch! You ungrateful bastard! Don't let me catch you again, I'll put you in a soup!" John checked the bite marks carefully, so he wasn't ready when the fish spat a pebble at him before disappearing.

Rubbing his head he looked at the pebble in his hand, it looked exactly like the fish, except smaller and grey.

"BAWK! Congratulations host for receiving:

-blessing of the pond lord, 5% bonus to ship speed in still waters, 5% bonus to ship's buoyancy.

-Arrowana miniature, attach to ship increase chance for favorable currents."

"Wow neat, even this barrel seems less likely to sink now."

John's voyage lasted a few hours, and he was feeling cramped. Finally the monotony of trees along the riverbank was interrupted by signs of civilization.

"BAWK! Land ho!"

"Shut it, don't speak unless necessary, people will judge me." John said as he scoped out the approaching village.