5 The New Student

"Okay, class let's continue our discussion tomorrow class dismissed," our subject professor said. We can go home early today since our last subject was canceled because our professor was on leave—I also wanted to go home early.

I feel kinda uncomfortable on our way home.

"What's the problem?" Kylie asked.

"It's just I feel that someone was following us," I replied.

Kylie and I both turn around to look if there is really someone that following us.

"Joshua?" Kylie said as she looked so confused. I just sigh and glare at him.

"Why are you following us?" I asked him.

"What? I'm not following you and why would I?" he replied.

"I live right over there," he added while pointing at the house right beside my house.

Kylie spent his night with me. She's being an overprotective friend again. I also told her about my condition—my PTSD. She was shocked at first but she cried after. Well, she's one of kind for me. She can empathize, sympathize, understand; and so on…that's also why I like her. She'd laugh or cry with me and I am so grateful to have a friend like her—she won't also commit to any relationship just because of me.

As usual, as soon as I fell into a deep sleep I also started to enter a horrible door that will make me mentally unstable again. There was no night that I can sleep so nice but I always wake in the middle of the sleep either crying or having some trouble breathing. So, I walked out to my balcony but I just saw that annoying man—I mean Joshua.

"Can't sleep again?" he questioned.

"Why do you need to go to school?" I answered.

"Of course, I also need to study, and please don't avoid my question," he replied.

"Well, apparently…yes I can't sleep. I'm having some nightmare every time I sleep," I answered.

"Want me to come over?" he asked and put some smile and cute eyes in front of me—as if it will work.

"Nah, Kylie's here besides can you please mind your own business," I said.

He entered his house so I thought he wants to sleep but I was wrong. After a couple of minutes, he came back holder a paper up saying, "If you can't sleep call me 010-456-341." I just smirked and went back inside my room.

Morning comes and Kylie seems to have a nice sleep since she's cooking in the kitchen when I went downstairs.

"Good morning Anxie," she greeted and smiled so widely.

"Good morning," I greeted her back.

I prepare the table and wait for her until she finishes cooking.

"It's hot, move away," Kylie said with overacting reaction.

"How's it?" she asked.

"Don't worry, it's delicious," I replied. She smiled so widely again.

"It's been a long time since the last time I slept here," she added. I just smiled back at her for everything because she's so happy.

We prepare ourselves for school. Kylie seems so happy and she's clinging to my arms so tight that I feel sorry for my arms from not breathing. Even though that were just still at my door's house I can see from afar that there's some guy standing in front of the gate—it is Joshua again.

"Oh hey, transferee," Kylie greeted him.

"Why don't you come with us? The more the merrier," Kylie added. Joshua smiled widely because of what Kylie said.

"Hey, transferee you know I'm glad that you're now Anxie's neighbor. Now there's someone who can look after her. I'm worried about her condition," Kylie said so dramatically.

"Kylie, do not say anything like that. It's embarrassing," I said.

Still, the two of them just talked and talked until we've reached the school.

As usual, lecture activities, lectures, and the same routine over and over again. It is just the same professors, classmates, and surroundings. It seems that I need to adapt to this new thing. It's just been 3 months since I entered college and 1 week since my mom died. I need to adjust and move forward—it's hard but I'll try.

We spent four hours at school and went home early—I started to like this but I need to remember it's just a short leave and our professor will be back. Kylie and I decided to go to their ice cream parlor before we went home—also one of my favorites because I am Kylie's friend I always have an opportunity to eat free ice cream.

"Transferee, wanna come with us? We'll go and get some ice cream," Kylie asked Joshua.

"Sure, ice cream's perfect," he replied.

The three of us started to walk and went to Kylie's family ice cream parlor.

"Mom one strawberry, chocolate, and mocha please," Kylie said as soon as we entered their shop.

"Hey, Angela it's been a long time and who's this handsome young man?" Kylie's mom asked.

"He's a transferee. He came just tomorrow, he's our new friend, mom," Kylie answered.

I have a good time after eating some ice cream while Kylie and Joshua also have a good time talking to each other.

"It's so sad that it's already time. Can I stay?" Joshua asked.

"No, you should go home and take care of my Anxie, okay?" Kylie firmly answered.

Joshua simply answered okay and we went home.

When I got home I directly went to my bedroom and lay in bed. Stare at the glowing moon and stars in the ceiling. I just sigh repeatedly while thinking about nothing. Ever since that day, I developed my so-called disorder nothing became easy for me. I find everything so hard, I became short-tempered, and sometimes, I just want to be alone and won't talk to anyone.

I feel like I am so messed up right now. I think I shouldn't tell Kylie about my condition. Sometimes I just questioned myself, "Why is all of this happening to me? Did I make a mistake? Say something wrong or is there a much heavier reason why I need to suffer?—it feels like I've been locked up in a room that has no escape until you were severely tormented and punished.