1 Her Mom's Death

I am Angela Trixie Villafuerte but my friends call me Anxie. I don't know why but they find it cute, and I kinda like it also. I am already 19 years old and currently in college. I love my life, my mom, and my friends. I don't have a father because he left me and my mom when I was a kid. I may not have everything but I'm satisfied with what I have not until a big tragedy happened in my life.

On my way home, I found a stall that sells 'Pork Sisig' so, I bought some. It is mom's favorite food, and I'm sure that she's going to like it. The stall was just a block away from our house and I'm started to brisk walk so I can go home, but I didn't expect the situation that burst upon me.

"Mom I'm home and guess what I… Mom?! What the… W-what happened here?!" I shouted as I walk towards mom whose lying on the floor and covered with blood.

"Angela… R-remember that mom loves you okay?" mom stuttered while smiling and holding my cheeks.

"I will always watch you so don't be sad okay," she added.

"Mom, stop! Don't say things like that okay. You'll be alright okay… you'll be okay," I answered while crying.

"Mom will—" she didn't finish what she wants to say and her hand suddenly falls down.

"Mom! No! Mom wake up! Mom!" I shout as loud as I can but she can't hear anything as she is already dead.

My mom died because of some robbers who tried to rob our house. They took away some of our things and also my mom's life. I am now alone neither my parents nor my friends can make me happy now. I wish that all of this were just a bad dream. I wish that I can be with my mom again. I was lost and unstable. I don't know what to do but one thing is for sure—I want to end my life right now.

I didn't sleep the whole night and kept thinking of my dead mom's body that I cuddle while she was stuttering trying to say something and I cried a lot while listening to her. I cannot believe that it only take a minute before my mom died in front of me. I was full of anger because of the robbers that the police didn't even catch. I was just staring at the ceiling the whole night and something suddenly popped out in my mind.

"What are you waiting for?! Angela, you have classes today, and you'll be late so, hurry!" I remembered my mom that was scolding me a few days earlier. So, I hurriedly prepare and went to school.

"Anxie! Anxie! Hey, are you alright?" Kylie asked.

"I'm okay," I answered.

"Are you sure? I heard about what happened to your mom. My deepest condolence," she added.

"It's okay, don't worry I'm alright," I answered her and started to walk away from her.

I was at school but my mind wasn't. I keep on remembering my mom's last moments. There was a teacher and having a lesson. I was trying to focus but I can't.

"Ms. Angela? Ms. Angela? Ms. Angela?" my professor keeps on calling me but I can't hear her.

She might know what I feel so she let me be alone and distracted. I didn't notice that two hours had already passed until I heard the school bell rang.

"Okay, let's continue the discussion tomorrow," our professor said.

"Oh Ms. Angela can I have a word?" my prof asked me.

We went to the faculty. I was just quietly walking behind her.

"Angela, are you alright? Kylie told me about what happened to your mother," she calmly asked as she holds my hand warmly.

"Honestly speaking, I don't know. I'm feeling okay… guilt… sad... I don't know… I'm not sure," I answered while I feel some of my tears suddenly fall down.

"Okay… okay I am here. You can talk to me okay. I'll listen to you but for now, you need to take some rest. Take a couple of days away from school. Clear your mind and if you're ready, come back to school. Today's enough so, go home and rest okay," she said.

I felt that my professor's words were sincere and that she really cares for me.

"Here take this, the school guard might look for some letter," she jokingly added and gave me some sort of letter.

"Hey, Anxie! Going home?" Kylie asked.

"Yeah, Miss Santos told me to leave early, have some break from school, and take some rest," I answered.

"I'll visit you okay. Take care," she added and watched me walk toward the school gate.

I left school early as my professor said. I wanted to go home but I remember what happened last night. I don't know where should I go so, I just walk and walked until I've reached the bus stop. I sat at the bench and think. After the two buses that left, I got into the third bus without any plan of where that bus will go.

I didn't notice that I slept. The driver went to my seat to wake me up.

"Miss, this is the end of the bus route," the bus driver said.

"Oh. Okay. I'll leave," I answered.

I got off the bus unknowingly where in the world I am.

I looked up my phone and notice Kylie's missed calls and messages. I texted her back so that she will not have to worry about me but I need to worry because it's already 8:30 in the evening and I don't know where am I. Luckily, I found a convenience store and took some rest. I was already hungry and decided to buy some cup noodles and eat.

I blankly stare at the night sky.

"Full moon and shining stars! What a lovely scene. I wish I was enjoying this with you mom."

I started to talk to myself and I didn't expect that the tears started to fall from my eyes.

"Why did you leave me, mom? What shall I gonna do now? How will I live?" I shouted as I cry and some customers were looking at me.

I felt embarrassed and the store owner asked me to move out since the other customers seem to be awkward. So, I started to walk again. I just keep on walking until I reached a bridge. I hold into its railings and some thoughts just popped out in my mind—If I die here I'll be with my mom. I'll see her again and it'll be all done.

I crossed the railings and started to look at the river which reflects the moon and stars images brightly. No one will ever know where I was—I don't even know where am I. I'll just end this fast and quietly.

I started to lean towards the river and let go of the railings. I felt the cold breeze of the wind and I hear the waves of the river. I was trying to remember those moments until I realized that I was underwater and started to feel some hardness in my chest—I can't breathe.