Chapter 3

I was so busy during the following weeks. It’s a good thing I have a lot of requirements before the finals. I laughed at myself. I must be crazy. I guess I’m the only one who’s happy because I have a lot to do. But at least I had an excuse to not see Ethan for a while. I needed a break from him.

I’m at the library now doing some research. I was so immersed with what I was doing when suddenly someone sat beside me.

“Looks like you’re so busy. Are you tired of crying and now you’re keeping yourself busy?” Toby with his signature teasing smile.

“Why do you always appear out of nowhere? The last time I checked we’re not friends. Why are you always following me?” I suddenly blurted out. I’m not usually rude but when it comes to him, I just explode. Maybe because I am not comfortable with the fact that he knows and I don’t want to talk to him about it.

“Whoa there! Hold your horses. It’s still too early to ruin your mood.” He said with his boyish smile. “Let’s say I really got curious of you. I’m really curious as to why you’re torturing yourself.” He said without even hesitating.

“Excuse me? First of all, we’re not even close for you to talk to me like that and second you don’t have a say as to what I’m going to do with my life.”

“Quiet right there!” I suddenly heard the librarian. I looked around and I realized everyone was looking at us. I didn’t notice that I was already speaking too loudly.

I looked at him angrily but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“Will you please get out of here if you don’t have anything to do aside from annoy me. Can’t you see I’m busy?”

He stood up and was about to leave but I heard him say.

“I’ll be leaving you for now. But I have a feeling we’ll see each other more often.”

He winked at me before leaving. Urgh! The nerve of that guy. I continued what I was doing. He wasted my time. I finished what I started and went to my next class when I heard the bell.

Ethan’s walking home with me. I appreciated the fact that even if he’s courting Jill, he still makes sure that he walks me home and he would wait for me every morning so that we’ll walk to school together. I thought he’ll have lesser time with me knowing that he has someone who he wants to spend most of his time with.

“Andi who’s that guy that I heard you’re always talking to? You were never the type to talk to other people. I didn’t know you already have another friend.”

Ethan is used to the fact that he is my only friend. That he’s the only one I talk to. Don’t get me wrong. I talk to my classmates but only when it comes to school stuff. With Ethan, it’s different. I talk to him about almost everything.

“Just no one. Someone who keeps on bugging me.” I answered.

“Is he courting you?”

“What? Of course not.” I was shocked by his question.

“Just be careful okay? Anyone who attempts to court you needs to get through me first. They have to pass through me before they are allowed to court you.” He seriously said.

“Why are you suddenly so serious? No one’s attempting to court me.” I slightly laughed.

“Well missy that’s because I don’t want you to get hurt. There are a lot of shitheads around. I don’t want you to be with a person who doesn’t see your worth. I don’t know what I’ll be able to do if I see you crying because of an asshole.” Did I mention he’s that protective of me?

I smiled while looking at his face. I loved this feeling. When I feel that he cares for me this much. Even if it’s just like this, even just through these gestures, it’ll be more than enough for me.

“Yeah I know. I know that you care me that much.” I smiled at him.

He ruffled my hair and smiled.

“Don’t lose your spark. Especially not because of some asshole.”

But you’re not an asshole. I wanted to say that. I looked at him while he smiles. Urgh! That precious smile.

“Go inside. I can’t stay here too long because I have a lot of lessons to review. And I’m gonna call Jill later. See you tomorrow.”

And that instantly burst my bubble. Yeah, of course you need to call her.

I went to the house and went to my room. I changed my clothes and lied in the bed staring at the ceiling. I was rolling in my bed thinking of what to do. I already finished most of my requirements and I have time to spare since it’s Saturday tomorrow. I could probably continue the rest of the work. I decided to wear a shirt and jogging pants and told my mom I’m just going somewhere.

“Mom, I’m going to the park to get some fresh air.”

“You go ahead honey. Be back later. It’s gonna be dinnertime soon.”

“Yes mom.”

I took my time walking to the park. I looked at everything that I pass by. Feeling the cold breeze. I went to the swing and sat down. I looked up and was deep in my thoughts when somebody sat beside the empty swing.

“Deep thoughts, eh?”

I wasn’t even shocked when Toby suddenly sat beside me. I got used to him appearing out of nowhere.

“What is it this time?” I rolled my eyes. I automatically become rude when it comes to him.

“You’re so hot-headed. This place is a public place. Anyone’s allowed to go here. And we also live in the same village. So, I can go here anytime.”

“Tsk! You talk too much. I didn’t know you were this talkative.” I said.

“Why? Do you know me?” he asked.

“No. But I thought you were the silent type. With your dark aura and all. You look like the mysterious type who isn’t fond of talking.”

“So, you checked me out?”

“What? No! Don’t be too full of yourself.” I was saying defensively. I didn’t know what was going inside his head.

He chuckled with my reply.

“Don’t worry. I was just joking. I know that you only have eyes for him. It shows.”

I kept quiet. I couldn’t talk. I didn’t know what to say. I don’t want to confirm it, though I doubt I still needed to confirm it to him. It feels uncomfortable but it’s like he sees through me.

“I just couldn’t get you. Do you enjoy being hurt?” He suddenly asked me. “Sorry, is it too personal? It’s fine if you don’t want to answer. It’s just my curiosity taking over.” He slightly laughed.

“I don’t know how to stop. It’s like I’m used to this kind of pain. It’s been so long.” I chuckled. I was surprised I could easy to talk to him about this.

“Learn when to stop.” He looked at me.

“If only I knew how. I would’ve stopped this a long time ago.” I breathe deep. “But he’s that kind of pain that I couldn’t seem to let go. Even though it hurts so much.” Then I looked up and realized something. “Maybe that’s the reason why. Maybe I didn’t want it to stop.” I looked at him. “Did you experience falling in love?”

“No.”

“Figures. When you fall in love, maybe then you’ll understand.” I smiled.

He looked at me in the eyes. It’s like a magnet and I couldn’t look away. I stared at him too. It’s like his eyes are showing me how deep his soul is. Then what he said caused my heart to pound.

“Maybe just maybe, I’m starting to fall.”