2 The Gready Soul Who Has Naught of Shame
It was dark, too dark. Well, that's what the young soul thought anyways, who would've preferred more light. The darkness was supposed to be calming, but it had no effect on this soul.
Now the soul is realizing that it's able to think, it's curious about where it is and how it got here, it thinks it's still in life; kidnapped by felons.
The next moment it sees light, bright blinding radiance and three pissed off looking individuals glaring right at him.
~~~
"Alice, you better find my sword before it hits a mortal or we're all fucked and I'll personally kill you before I get executed!" Threatened Josh as he balled his hands into fists.
"Is it really that big of a deal, we aren't even close to the mortal planet." Shrugged Alice while tossing an apple up into the air.
"This isn't the time for your bullshit, find that sword and any mortal killed by it!" Snarled Josh as he kicked Alice into the mortal realm
~~~
Three hours later, Alice was back with the blade in hand; water and mud strewn across her.
"You took your sweet time, did the sword land on the mortal planet?" Inquired Josh while holding his hand open for the blade.
"Which floating rock was the mortal one, my memory fogs with time?" Smirked Alice as she let the sword get ripped out of her hand.
"The only goddamn green and blue planet in that area, so tell me now; did it land on the mortal planet!" Thundered Josh while grasping Alice by the neck.
"No way... that looked just like the planet your sword was stuck in." Coughed Alice as she felt her airflow get cut off.
"Did the sword kill any mortals, tell me this instant Alice!" Screamed Josh while nearly snapping Alice's neck.
"It looked as such when I retrieved your sword." Groaned Alice as Josh dropped her to the floor.
Bella, and Josh then suddenly dispersed, for they had teleported to the Soul Sacrarium.
~~~
At this very moment, two gods are searching through the soul stream trying to find the soul that Josh's sword had killed.
"Shouldn't Alice be the one to find the stupid mortal soul?" Growled Bella while dropping a soul back into the river.
"She should and would be if we didn't need to find this soul quickly!" Exclaimed Josh as he spotted his quarry.
"The soul's over there, this endeavor ended quite quickly; wouldn't you say Bella." Smiled Josh while seeming uninclined to grab the soul.
"What are you waiting for Josh, grab the fucking soul" Bellowed Bella while watching Josh's face contort with rage.
"Don't fucking tell me what to do, or I'll beat that pathetic little face of yours until it breaks; but just this one time I'll humor you!" Snapped Josh as he grasped the soul and teleported back to the cloud realm with Bella.
~~~
"Took you guys long enough, why don't you let me do it next time; it'll surely be faster." Grinned Alice while looking at the newly arrived pair of gods.
"How about next time I rip out your spine, because you're being such a bitch right now!" Snarled Josh as he glared at Alice full of hate.
"I agree that sounds like fun, why don't we also see how long you'll live when I remove all your bones." Smiled Bella while patting Alice's shoulder with malice.
"So, what are we going to do with the soul; we need to do this with haste after all." Mumbled Alice as she backed away.
"Well according to the Book of Godly Law we're supposed to find the soul before it dissipates into the void and grant its wishes for its next reincarnation, within reason of course." Explained Bella while opening her book.
"Well, what are you waiting for Josh; we have to hurry." Urged Alice as she watched Josh place down the soul.
As soon as the soul was placed down, it immediately started to plead for its life; hoping to appeal to its captors.
"I can give you anything you want, just give me time and you'll have it; please don't kill me." Begged the soul while gyrating around.
"I have a family and they'll be left unfed if you kill me." Reasoned the soul as it tried to see through the bright blinding light.
"Mortal, you are dead; please tell us what you want your reincarnation to be like." Asked Josh while stifling a laugh.
"What!" "I'm not dead, I'm talking to you right now!" Pointed out the soul as it sat waiting.
"You can talk because we have given you the power of speech mortal, you died from a little mistake of one of my lessers and as an apology you'll get to pick what your next reincarnation will be like." Beamed Josh while rubbing his head feeling bored.
At that moment, the lost soul realized what what a golden opportunity this was and started its requests, not caring if what the voice said was true, or not.
"I would like to be reborn with a system that has evolution, I want at least one cheat skill or the equivalent of one, I want a lax life, I want to start with a semi decent weapon and I want to be in a fantasy world." Bargained the soul as it floated around with hope.
"I shall look into the things you have asked of me, but I cannot give you a lax life as that would break certain terms that I'm required to follow" Lied Josh while disappearing along with Bella and Alice.
~~~
One day later and the soul is wondering if this is actually a joke, or if the gods had abandoned it so they wouldn't have to deal with it.
~~~
Two days later, the figures returned and so did the voice, although the voice now had a sort of snobbish aura to it.
"I have looked into your wishes and have decided to grant them with some limitations." "I hope you understand that being a god is very hard work." Yawned Josh as he emphasised very.
"So what are the limitations per say, I want to know what has changed?" Inquired the soul while feeling restless.
"You shall find out when you have reincarnated into your new life, dearest soul." Snickered Josh as he dodged the question entirely.
"Goodbye" Chimed all three gods while watching the soul dissipate into thin air.
~~~
"I can't believe that that soul tried to swindle me, the nerve of these mortals is insane." Scowled Josh as he turned around to look at Alice.
"At least you dealt with it accordingly, it could've gone a whole lot worse." Added Bella while looking around the barren cloud realm.
"It's a good thing that the mortal didn't tell you what not to change, or we would've been fucked." Responded Alice as she cleaned herself off with a spell.
"Yeah, you're right Alice... but don't think you're off the hook now though." Reminded Josh while staring at the lifeless white sky.
"But I was the one who saved you a lot of trouble by coming up with that idea!"
"You only fixed your mistake, you still caused us all a lot of work and remember; I was the one to think of turning her into a she." Spouted Josh while starting to pace around the other two gods.
"Oh yeah, that was my favorite part; she's going to be so pissed off!"
"That was my favorite one too, but my second favorite is that we reincarnated her as a tick and I hated ticks when I was last a mortal. Cackled Bella with a sick sense of humor.
"I agree, I also wonder how fast she's going to die, so do you wanna bet?" Questioned Alice as she laughed.
"I bet she isn't even going to last a day." Theorized Josh while sitting down
"Well I bet she isn't going to last a week, that's what my book says." Gambled Bella as she turned a page.
"She's going to last two or three days tops, there's no way a mortal from that planet could last any longer." Claimed Alice while pointing down upon earth with a semblance of humor.
