14 McDove Lesson #67

McDove Lesson #67. If you are about to kill someone be prepared, the moment you hesitate the finishing blow. Is the moment you lose the battle.

When I was a kid, I used to be bullied a lot. When I say a lot. I mean a lot.

Azuka runs away from a group of boys a year older than himself. At least five boys, Azuka saw. Azuka would run away and get himself cornered in an alleyway. The boys would catch up to him, behind the boys were a white light, it wasn't too bright but it was there. Sooner or later they would beat him up claiming themselves to be heroes.

"Azuka! Don't think about running away today," the leader of the boys would usually say that when Azuka was cornered. He would follow up with a punch to the face, knocking Azuka down.

The boy would then strike a hero pose and laugh. "Azuka, I have beaten you down, you villain! Now march my sidekicks!" The other boys would all attack Azuka at once, leaving him bloody and bruised. No one would come to save him, he was the villain his bully convinced him to be. Only villains would come to save villains.

"Why don't you just beat them up," Emily says to a fallen Azuka. "I'm weak," Azuka mumbles.

"Weak?"

"That's right....you are weak."

Azuka looks up at Emily in surprise.

She started to melt away, her voicing becoming more and more distorted as she smiles all the way.

"You left me behind, for yourself. How can...I love.. someone like you."

Azuka closes his eyes to get her to go away. She chuckles before bursting out in a disgusting, distorted, ominous laughter, closing in closer and closer to Azuka.

"Leave me alone!"

Emily stops laughing and disappears. Azuka is left in silence and darkness. The alley he had been cornered in, only had one way out. The bright, white light pierced into Azuka's eyes. It stayed for a bit, then vanished, in its place were roaring flames. Azuka finally opens his eyes and sees Junbar's ghost like body reach for him. He closes his eyes again in fear.

"Yo boy, don't flinch in a fight, you may lose because of that." Azuka opens his eyes, he no longer was in the alley, he no longer had visible injuries.

"Stop spacing out boy. Let's take another round of it." Azuka's body could not move, he does not know if it was it out of fear or confusion. "Boy." Azuka instantly moved after hearing his Master call for him. Azuka instinctively readies himself for a fight...

But why.

I don't remember what I was learning this day.

This was just a normal training day.

After their training session, Azuka and Kennith sit next to each other, drinking milk to refresh themselves. "Master, when are you going to teach me magic," Azuka asks clenching his glass of milk. Kennith stays silent, "Please Master, can you teach me magic?" Kennith gets up from his seat and pulls out a knife. He inspects the knife and pricks his own finger, his finger slightly bleeds, but heals almost as quick it starts bleeding. He throws the knife at the ground, the blade was slightly in the ground with the handle being exposed.

"Pick up the knife boy, I want you to kill me," Kennith says with his arms open. Azuka stares at the knife, his stare, so intense it would be able to cut through steel. "Kill him...Azu," a voice whispered into his ear. Azuka rushes at the knife, grabbing it, and dropping his milk. With the knife he lunges for Kennith's neck, as he gets closer, the previous voice starts laughing. It wasn't a distorted or disgusting laugh. It was beautiful, a genuine laugh, beautiful to the ears, a laugh that would make you smile only by hearing it once.

Azuka slows down as he becomes inches away from Kennith's neck, Kennith notices and delivers a counter attack. His counter attack caused the air around him to rapidly move, a small shockwave was produced. Grabbing Azuka's hands that held the knife together with one hand. With the other hand he puts a knife up to Azuka's throat. The beautiful laughter had become tainted, becoming more and more...ugly.

"Do you recognize your mistake boy?" Azuka doesn't move a muscle, "Your mistake boy, was that you hesitated. The rookiest mistake, whenever you are about to kill. You feel superior don't you. Other feelings may mask it but deep down, you feel superior. People let that superiority control them at the end. It makes people sloppy. Do you understand boy?" Azuka gulps and nods. The laughter had faded away in the background.

"Great, now tell me boy. Does magic teach you that?" Kennith pulls back, releasing Azuka. Azuka let's go of the knife and looks down in disappointment. "There, there boy, you may have not killed me today....." Kennith pats Azuka's head, "At least you killed me," Kennith transforms into Junbar who continues to pat Azuka's head.

I get it.

I know I killed you.

Nothing will change that fact.

The voice once again came to Azuka.

"Then, Azu, will you kill again? Will it be for me or someone else? Or....."

The area around Azuka and Junbar dissolved dropping Azuka back into the alley his almost daily beatings took place. Azuka was once again cornered. "Are you ready villain," his attackers ask striking another pose. Azuka had already known the routine, he was prepared to get a beating, he was prepared to be found by authorities an hour later and Emily coming over to heal his injuries. He was always prepared for that.

"Azuka, are you trying to run away again," his bully says while winding up his fist.

Oh yeah.

I remember this.

Today was the day.

Azuka stands his ground and deeply stares at his bully's eyes. "No. I am not the villain." Azuka pulls out a knife and lunges at the bully stabbing him in the stomach and falling on top of him. The beautiful laughter echoes in his ears as he stares down his bully while he is sitting on top of him. "I am not the villain. I am the God in this situation," All four of the other boys ran away, all looking for a guard. Azuka laughs hysterically, "Why are you crying, you terrorized me every day. I should be the one crying!" Azuka laughs more and more as he punches his bully in the face over and over again.

The beautiful laughter gets louder and louder, while Azuka's streams of tears gradually becomes a roaring river. He slowly loses speed as he finally let's all of his tears out.

I hesitated, he thought, so does this mean I lost?

This feels like a victory.

Am I victorious or not.

I killed Junbar.

I did not hesitate.

I technically won.

Yet, I don't feel victorious.

Till this day, Kennith never comforted me about this event. I think that is the day I started to hate him, to desire being better than him. To win a fight without death and with victory.

That day however, I got charged with Aggravated Assault. Emily was heartbroken, but Master paid no attention to it. He only said one thing to me, "You hesitated." I get it now, he was preparing me for the day I actually take a life. Next time, I'll be more prepared when I don't hesitate.

Azuka wakes up from his dream, with a cold sweat. He slowly stands up and starts stretching out his body. He then sits down with his legs crossed and begins meditating. After this, I will start physical training, he thought.