New Self!

Part 1

"A year after that miserable life I experienced,I discovered that life is precious,I discovered that life should be valued and that without believing in yourself or having hight self esteem you will always fall like a pumpkin at  the Garden Of Eden"

I wrote that on my manuscript as a reminder of how Unpredictable  life can be.How hard I struggled to get where I am!Anyway that's a story for another day!!

With the motivation from that small voice that was in my head,I changed the way I saw life,I changed my attitude towards life in general.

Later on,my mom just got home,with presents for everyone,I really couldn't believe that  I was now treated equally as thee others.But what more did I want than the mother's love?NOTHING!

Sihle couldn't wait to open hers because it came covered in a big box,you would think it's something like a Doll's House!Other presents came out of her handbag.

"Someone told me,you like,to write and read!" She said and pulled out a note book,dictionary  and a novel by Sir Henry Newbolt :The Tormented Moments Of My Life!

While I was about to thank her,she took out her cellphone,to show me when did  Sir Henry Newbolt start to publish his first book named: The Love I Needed! Guys the niggah started writing when he was 12...And I was inspired!

[5 Days After]

I wrote her a poem,to show her that she played a good role in my life,how she treated me back then wasn't on my mind,but her presence is what I really appreciated! Mother was thrilled about the poem and told me to start writing whenever I feel like lifting burdens off my chest. I gained so much confidence,I even posted my poems on social media to express my talent.

Part 2

Someday,I was just starting to hit the road and I saw that someone left a note,at my cribs door!Ayoo! The shiit got my favourite colour,and a ribbon!Aghh Damn,It was a letter from my lost lover,Letlotlo...I really couldn't give the letter so much time,I just folded it and put it on my school bag,hoping to view it at school.

"Eyy Dude..Psss!" I whispered to get my friend's attention,and I finally got it!

"I received a note from LETLOTLO again,bruh she wants to come back,but she's afraid that I'm gonna hurt her" I said and giggled!

My intentions were to HURT her like she did before she could leave.Then the new me started to fight that thoughts but lol...My mind had already made its decision "To Hurt The Bitch!"

I asked my mom for money to go and mail some school stuff,she agreed!

(For Your Own Info::We Used Mails Because It's Fun...You Should Try It)Then I took off,to the local Post Office.

I felt vigorous after mailing my note,but yet disappointed because the shadow I wanted to bury and get over,was yet again out of the closet.Memories came back,my heart started to break into two pieces again.I won't lie,I still loved her!

But the thought of what she did forced me to hurt her.Saturday Night,We were busy baking scones for the church's big ceremony ,when I received a message on my phone...what made me curious is that she changed her numbers,and I ignored her texts.

Eventually I called her to hear what did she wanna say earlier on,but her phone was off...I was worried,aghh I kept on trying till I fell asleep. The night was long and I couldn't wait to hear why did she request the meet up...Finally my alarm rang (Sam Smith-Stay With Me) I rushed to my messages to check her text-But it wasn't there!

"What if something bad happened to her?what if she wanted to give me something before she could die?What if....."that was the haggard me.

I couldn't just sit home and do nothing.

After bathing and shiit,I went out to check her at her grib,she wasn't there,and her aunt never saw her since she came.We were both worried,and couldn't endure the feeling that she was no where to be found. I really wanted to see her,"The Love Of My Life" my mind told me to go and look for her,but the heart opposed what was said by the mind. Auntie Zee tried calling her phone but it was off,maybe she was busy...At the moment my love for was still new and young.

Part 3

[Car sound:A Big Engine]

We went outside to check who it was,a red citi golf was parking in front of the gate.It was Jayden,Jayden Fourie,the swag king!

I really  couldn't hold myself,Antie Zee was astonished,she didn't know what to do. Maybe she could not believe what she saw.

There she was,the kasi queen,I mean the love of my life,Letlotlo Molebogeng Faneke!

She just walked past us,she didn't greet nor look my way...she just walked inside the house.

I really wanted to tell Jayden where to get off, but the attention he had made me abort my thoughts! He had everyone on his side,he had a crew behind him,eyes on him...I wonder what kind of attention was he going to get he drove a Jeep,maybe Presidents were going to befriend him.

Auntie Zee and I went back inside,she was a bit stressed about her niece's well being. Letlotlo wanted nothing to do with us that time,she locked herself in her bedroom, I just wanted to see if she was ok! But she kept on chasing me away.

Few minutes later a "Bang!"sound came out of her room,Auntie and I rushed to check if she was ok...we found her crying,I asked auntie to give us time

"Kgomotso I really miss her,Mom...at times like this she was going to tell me if I'm on the right track or not...She was going to lead me to the right path" she said so with her eyes filled with tears,I really wished to comfort her by helping her to find her way back to the real and good path of life,but I didn't have that motive to tell her.

As we were chilling on top of her Bed with no topic,I looked straight in her eyes and told her that I love her...Aghh you should have seen her smile, it felt good to see her smile and happy.

Her smile always took out the friendliness in me, I was so in love with her and her smile too.

She talked till we both got tired and fell asleep, her phone rang and we woke up. It was already late,she asked me to spend a night at her home,but I was scared of my demolic mother...I rushed home.

"He's maybe out there spreading lies about us like he did with Mr Thulo" that was my mom's voice I could hear it while I was still on the door,she was commanding to my sisters and brother.

At first I was scared to enter but that fright gave me the courage to enter the room. "There he is,I wonder where he's been?Kgomotso where the hell have you been?"

"I was at Letlotlo's House,I was worried about her...how we left things before she skipped town wasn't good." I enumerated them my statement!

That was my first time being so cool with my fam, and it felt so good...Anyways at the end I had to stand up and speak for myself.

The following day,I wanted to go and jog but the warmth of the blankets kept me still,then I enjoyed the fruitfulness of my sleep.

The love I have Letlotlo is a kind of love that will let me do anything to protect her!

That was me again incarcerated deep in my thoughts.

I really wanted to protect her with every fibre of my being,I really wanted to love her with every emotion I had.

"What if she wants someone with a car?someone from a rich fam?Again What if she want me the way I am?what if she's the Love Of My Life" my mind couldn't stop analysing how I felt about that chick!

Sunday morning after chuch I went to check up on her,but she wasn't home...auntie Zee said I should wait for her,she's on her way home from church.

I waited for her,maybe thirty minutes later she bursted out of nowhere, her beauty was all I could look at, her smile was... aghh let's just be serious.

We chatted and I wanted to ask her about us,like where do we stand since Jayden was part of her life too...but I didn't want to change her mood.

We spoke till boredom interfered,we both felt bored.

"Letlotlo care to tell me about us?I think you know how I feel about you!" I asked her smoothly.

At that time she didn't want to answer me,maybe she was embarrassed of how she left the love of her life for fame and vibe!

I can't say she still loved me 'cause the look in her eyes said something different, maybe in her eyes I was the same kasi boy she grew up with and she once loved.

Part 4

Monday morning it was frigid outside,all my body wanted that day was blankets and a cup of coffee.

[TRING TRING!!!]

That was my cellphone, I picked it up to see who was calling.

It was Auntie Zee,her voice was queer it felt like she was crying before calling me.

I rushed there to see what was happening!

Letlotlo's bags were packed,she was moving out.I went to her room to beg her to stay but I failed...That's when I was told how worthless I am, how her love for me ended.

At that moment what played inside my intellect was "Did She Just Tell Me How Worthless I Am?" I wanted her very bad,nothing on earth would match her description.

She had beautiful eyes like small balls on top of the brown coloured soil.She had big cheekbones she looked like a princess actually my princess because "BEAUTY IS IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER" maybe I was the only guy who saw her for who she was.

[Car sound:heavy engine roared outside!!]

It was Jayden Fourie the kasi king,to be honest I really wanted to let her walk away but I couldn't.

I went to Jayden and attacked the niggah telling him to leave the love of my life alone...a soft hand landed on my left shoulder,I felt like melting.

"Kgomotso don't fight for what you failed to fight for these past few days...I really wanted to talk to you,but I wanted you to propose a motion!" She said so and straight after went straight to Jayden's car. I was woe-begone that moment and I was embarrassed...Back inside the house Auntie Zee was screaming for her niece,she was again surprised by what happened in front of her house.

When I got home, I texted Letlotlo and tried calling her but her numbers were indicated as unavailable! She changed sim cards as always,whenever she felt challenged she would pack and go,such a stupid young girl.

On  the other hand auntie Zee was worried sick of her whereabouts. Jayden changed her, changed how she saw life and how she valued life...No one knew her anymore her friend Lesedi,wanted to unfriend her badly but just because she knew that wasn't Letlotlo living that life,she stayed and supported her only real friend.

Everyone knew that Jayden didn't care about anyone's life nor dignity...he only cared about getting what he wants and just checking out,he was self-centered ass!

Months later auntie Zee was sick and couldn't endure the sickness anymore,she was long suffering from lung cancer...I and Lesedi were always there taking care of her, while her niece is bitchin' at Jayden's Place. "Maybe she was tired of taking care of the sick old woman like me, Maybe I was boring her...Or Maybe she don't need me like she needed her mother! Auntie Zee alleged so,her eyes were soaking tears.

That moment I felt like I was in some funeral,because the way she cried for her niece was heart breaking. Lesedi was there to see the sadness Letlotlo caused for her aunt so was I, We were both disappointed in what Letlotlo turned out to become. Her mother's death was the only thing that was meant to get these two people close, but it didn't, it just broken the bond they had completely!

Part 5

A month after Letlotlo's decision,I was at home with my fam...we were busy making a barbecue  [Braai] then my phone started ringing.

Aghh the numbers were unusual so I ignored the phone call.

But my phone couldn't stop ringing so I went inside the house to answer it,it was Latlotlo with another phone numbers...and I thought of DJ Khalid "Another One". She didn't say anything  for a minute then she started crying "Aghh who are you fooling bitch" what I said to myself.

She said something like knowing whose real and whose fake and my mind automatically generated the idea of where is this statement going!

"I wanted fame more than love, I thought I knew what I was doing but I didn't...You,Lesedi and auntie Zee showed me love but I pushed you away. Jayden showed me money,fame and his father's cars and I fell for him. I didn't want to lose you, but I needed cash, I needed to be noticed by the world not knowing that would lead to losing my friends and loved ones" I really didn't know what to say,I just turned off the call on her ear.

I started to get over her bit-by-bit, I started to notice that there was life before her and life was there with her which means there'll be life after her. She would send me countless messages and voice notes, but who cared about someone who ditched everyone that loved her for someone who's going to use her?No one!

Auntie Zee was starting to recover and Lesedi was always there for her, life was becoming normal again. Without all the negative people in it, life was unfolding...everyone was starting to understand and know theirselves, on the other side someone was starting to etiolate.

chapter 3 Is Coming😭❤👑