Heroes and Magic

"Have a nice day!" the staff at the front desk calls out to me. I smile back real quick and walk right out of there, I freaking hate hospitals.

I push open the smooth glass doors of the entrance to the place and walk out, then I realize I don't know where the heck I'm at right now. Stopping a nearby pedestrian I put on my 'sociably acceptable nice guy' face and ask him where I'm currently at.

"Hey man, could you be so tell me where we're at?" He stares at me with a sorta annoyed look on his face as he says "Penemere man, like duh" and starts walking again, away from me and at a faster pace than before.

"Could you at least tell me what city this is then?" I know it's a long shot but I've never heard of a street with any name remotely similar in name and look as this place. The city looks way more modern than my old town. Don't get me wrong the town I lived in was large for a town but it wasn't anything like a city.

"Like Negly man, like seriously bruh you not from 'round here or somethin?" Now I'm confused, like who names a city Negly? "Negly? What kinda weird name is that?"

He looks at me all affronted and crap "Dood it's like a totally sick name man. Piss off man I got stuff to do." Now he runs off, obviously not wanting to get caught up with me again. Whatever I'll just ask some other person then. Course this is a problem as I have no idea where I am and how I got here. I'm pretty certain there were no places named Negly around my town. Heck I don't think there was a city named Negly in my whole state. Plus who the hell payed for my hospital bills? When I spoke with the doctors they said it was all paid and done for so somebody must have paid for me.

I really can't deal with this shit right now. I just want to get my lazy ass home and back on my bed. This place is so weird and I don't know how the hell to provide for myself. I'm a teenager god dammit, I may be 16 but I'm still a teen. Who the heck would want me working for them when I have zero job experience and no place to stay?

"Breaking news super villain Quake Snake is on the loose in the middle of City N! Neglians better watch out and take some cover cuz this man's going on a rampage! Over to you Tessa."

Wut :/

"Thanks Dave now let's give our viewers some background information on the Quake Snake!"

"You get em Tessa!"

"Thanks Dave, The Quake Snake, let's call him QS, is a dangerous B+ class super villain for his highly destructive and lethal abilities known as Ground Mover and Seismic Shock."

"Seismic Shock! Isn't that the power of the A+ hero Shock Storm!"

"Thant's right Dave, though QS's Seismic Shock is only at the C+ grade while Shock Storms Seismic Shock is an A+ level ability! But don't forget to count his second ability Ground Mover! With this ability B+ ranked ability he can't quite control the earth like the S class hero Terra but he can make it move in a way that allows him to create walls and tunnels that propel him along under the ground at extreme speeds!"

What the heck...

"Is that how he got his villain name the Quake Snake Tessa?"

"Indeed it was Dave along with his snakelike speech and personality, anyway we better hope nobody's still listening to this broadcast on the big screens anymore cause the Quake Snake is coming in hot!"

As she says that I can feel the ground starting to shake. As I look to my left I can see buildings fall and debris fly everywhere and a great big earth mound comes hurtling towards me.

Well shit. Thanks for fucking telling me that earlier Tessa. Is that bitch trying to get people killed? I look around only to realize that everyone else on the once crowded street have disappeared having run off to another place. Smart people. Not so smart me.

"Would you like to withdraw your items?"

"HOLY FUCK!" I jump and look around me, the shit scared out of me. And then I hear that voice again.

"Would you like to withdraw your items? If you don't accept your items will be automatically equipped"

"Items? What the heck do you mean items? Who the hell are you!" The sounds of destruction start to grow louder as the 'Quake Snake' starts to come closer to me.

"Would you like to withdraw your items? If you don't accept your items will be automatically equipped"

"Accept? What the hell am I accepting?" I'm starting to get confused here and right now this voice in my head is all I've got.

"Items have been accepted, now equipping stored items. Current equipment will be automatically stored within your Bag of Holding."

Suddenly my shoulders and body are weighed down by a thick raggedy black cloak that seemingly just appeared over me. The material and make of my shirts and pants changed into a dark cloth with a silky feel and imperial look. They're a solid black color with fancy purple embroidery shaped into strange runic patterns. My shoes have changed into brown boots with strange little white wings sticking out of the sides.

A bag and belt are now draped across my shoulders and waist. The bag being seemingly empty and the belt draped with glass bottles and vials.

As I look at my now gloved hands as I am now holding something that wasn't there before. It's brassy in color and has 7 ring like protrusions evenly spaced along the haft of it and one at the top with a blade like blue crystal firmly fixed upon it.

My heartbeat quickens. I would know this item from anywhere, it's a Wand of Magic Missiles. And my gloves... They must be Gloves of Missile Snaring! As I look at each of my new items my excitement grows more and more! And it hits me, hits me with the force of a truck.

I've become a D&D character, and not just any D&D character. These are the items of my Level 4 Wizard Mallark Brightstone! With all of these thoughts flying through my brain I sink deeper and deeper into my exited frenzy.

Then I'm hit by a rock.

Fuck.

It hits me right in the stomach and staggers me. Throwing a leg out I manage to catch myself before I fall to the ground. As I look out that Quake Snake guy is right in front of me. Staring me down with a very menacing glare. "Foolish hero, you dare come out here as if you cold even challenge me, the great Quake Snake! Do not worry your death will be quick." With a predatory smile and a dangerous glint in his eyes he tenses up ready to lunge at me.

"Hey it looks like a rogue hero has come out to fight the Quake Snake!" Fuck you Tessa

"Wait a minute, Tessa I've never seen that hero before, is he even strong enough to be fighting a veteran super villain?" Fuck you too Dave.

"Well Dave I don't know but let's cheer him on anyway. You got this new guy rogue hero!"

Before Quake Snake can attack me and any more assumptions of expected heroics are made I quickly raise my hands into the air and cry "Wait! Don't shoot! I'm not a hero!"