1 End of the mundane life
Desolate landscapes with dark gray clouds swirling in the sky, molten-red Lightnings raining down onto the fleeing soldiers, and the ominous black Sun that looked more like a massive eye than an actual sun. That was the best description I could give to the scenery around me.
However, I wasn't focusing on the black sun, nor was I even bothering to try and dodge the Lightnings. Instead, my gaze rested on my most beloved, whose life had just faded away right before me.
Staring down at her corpse which was lying on the rough ground, I tried my best to ignore the throbbing pain caused by the Blessed arrows firmly lodged in my flesh that coursed through my entire being.
I then slowly knelt down and deflected the Lightning that was striking at my position, daring to sully what remained of the one who I dedicated my life to.
My dull gray eyes quivered as I stared into her light-blue irises which where staring back at me not with sadness or regret, but with happiness; Happiness that stemmed from the satisfaction of having been able to protect me, even at the cost of her life.
My eyes then drifted toward her waist-long hair which was soaked in blood, so much so that its original color was unrecognizable.
"Wh- Why...", I muttered with a shaky voice as tears that hadn't came out of my eyes for decades made their way down my cheeks and onto her pale face. "...Why are you staring at me like that even when you know that I'm the one who caused all this"
Why? For what reason did she still have affection for me even when I caused such destruction?
Wh- Why? Why did she still love me despite me having killed the 'thing' that she had considered to be her daughter?
WHY? HOW COULD SHE STILL SACRIFICE HERSELF FOR ME? I WAS JUST AN ASSHOLE WHO BETRAYED HER TRUST UNTIL THE END!
WH—
|Ah, guess we're back to this point again...|
I snapped my head in the direction of the sudden voice. With bloodshot eyes, I glared at the so-called 'God' who was floating right beside me. "Prostor..."
|That's me!|, Prostor chuckled. |Though, I don't think you should stare at the friend you haven't seen in decades with eyes like that|
"Friend my ass! Why do you 'Gods' have to pull us mortals into your meaningless war!?"
|If it wasn't for the fact that Chronzeit is still not dead, I would have killed you for blasphemy a long time ago|, Prostor scowled. |And for your information, it isn't us Gods that pulled you into this war, it's Fate. We already had this conversation a long time ago, why can't you just trust me?|
"...", I stayed silent as I glared at him with more hatred than before.
Seeing this, Prostor sighed. |Look, I'm here to tell you that this Iteration has failed|
"No shit! Look at the wasteland around you!", I screamed in anger.
'Did that fucker come here just to annoy me?', I thought.
After all, I didn't need a God to tell me that this Iteration has gone to utter shit.
|No—|, Prostor spoke. No doubt he was reading my mind again. |—I'm actually here to give you some comfort before the next one begins|
"So what?", I gritted my teeth in anger as Prostor's words just came off as mocking to me. "I don't fucking need comfort from the one who put me in this shithole in the first place!"
|...|
"AND IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO GIVE ME COMFORT, YOU SHOULD HAVE CHANGED MY FATE! YOU'RE A SURPREME GOD FOR FUCK'S SAKE! IS CHANGING THE FATE OF ONE SINGLE MORTAL THAT HARD?"
|Actually, I'm here to do just that|
"Huh?", I stared at him in confusion, my earlier anger was nowhere to be seen.
Staring at my face, amused, Prostor chuckled before speaking up again. |Next time, I'll make sure to alter your Fate. We can't defeat Chronzeit if things stay this way every time anyways"
He then took out a silver pocket watch from thin air and threw it towards me.
Catching the watch, I once again stared at Prostor in confusion.
|Kill yourself while holding it|, he said, noticing my confusion. |The past me will know what to do if he notices the watch in your possession|
"Are you fucking with me?", I glared at him. "Objects can't be carried through Iterations!"
|They indeed can't. That's why you have to sacrifice something|
"Sacrifice...?"
|Yes|, he grinned at me. |I will take away some of you innate talents permanently at the start of the next Iteration to make this work|
"And why do you think I'd agree to that?"
Prostor's grin widened at my question. |Ah, and here I thought you'd be overjoyed at the chance to change your lover's Fate|
"Wh- What!?", I stared at him in disbelief. "What did you say?"
|Oh, it looks like you have hearing loss, how unfortunate. No wonder you couldn't do anything right for the past 4 rounds. I guess I shouldn't waste this chance on you. What a shame though, you'll have to watch her die again next tim—|
"I GET IT! I'LL DO IT!", I screamed in desperation.
|Great!|, he smirked at me. |Guess you'll have to trust me from now on then!|
Not giving me any more chances to say anything, Prostor dematerialized, leaving me alone on the battlefield.
"Bastard... he knows all of my weaknesses...", I muttered under my breath.
Sighing, I tightened my grip on the watch and moved closer to my lover's body. I then gently caressed her pale and cold face with my burnt hands and closed her stiff eyelids down for her.
"Even if you're dead, you shouldn't watch me do this..."
Giving myself a self-deprecating chuckle, I materialized a dagger from my own blood and pointed its tip at my heart. I stared at the dagger for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and thrusted.
Spurt—!
Falling to the ground with a thud, I gazed in the direction of my lover once more with eyes that were becoming increasingly blurry. I then slowly moved my hand through the rough ground, trying to find her body.
"Ah, here you are...", I smiled as I could finally felt the skin of her hand, which was strangely warm.
Now holding hands with her and staring at the massive eye in the sky with my blurry vision, I let out a final mutter as I waited for my inevitable death.
"You'll definitely find happiness next time, Syl. Whether with, or without me."
*****************
November 2nd, year 781 of the Imperial calendar
It was cold, extremely cold. It was the kind of temperature that would make even Yetis feel uncomfortable.
In this unusually harsh winter, school is still not cancelled, much to my frustrations.
Even other students agreed with me, as they held a protest the other day, demanding that school should be closed, or at least be a bit more lenient with attendance.
Stretching my arms and wiping the tear in the corner of my eyes, I glanced at the clock. It was still 6 a.m.
'Strange', I thought. Just was I preparing to go back to sleep after lamenting why I woke up so early today, I sensed a presence in my room.
It belonged to my mother, Karin Gray.
Before I got the chance to question her, she walked up to my bed and hugged me. As I was giving her a questioning look, she slightly distanced herself from me.
"Dear..." She spoke, perhaps in the sweetest voice she could conjure up.
"What is it, mom?" I replied, mild annoyance can be heard in my answer as I slightly resented her for waking me up so early.
She looked at me for a bit, seemingly lost in thought before giving me an apologetic smile. "Sorry for disturbing your sleep, little Theo. But could you skip school and spend the day with me?"
I furrowed by brows. Though I did complain about school still opening in this weather in my heart, I still had to go to school today. Otherwise, I would miss out on witnessing that bastard Raun confessing to Amelia. Just thinking of his face when he inevitably gets cold-heartedly rejected makes going to school when it's freezing cold worth it.
"Sorry, mom, today is an important day, I can't miss school no matter what!" I exclaimed, each word oozing with determination.
"Is that so?" She lets out a dejected sigh, before patting my head and messing up my hair in the process. "Can you at least spend the morning with this old lady then?"
Every times she used the word 'old lady', I feel pity for her. She's only turning 26 this year, that means she had me when she was around 15. Sometimes I thought that I'm just a burden to her. After all, who in their right mind would keep the evidence of the mishap that possibly ruined their life around, much less treating it as a proper parent figure. Thus, the least I could do is to comply with her second request.
"Got it, mom." I replied, somewhat begrudgingly.
We spent an hour doing various chores around the house. After having breakfast, mother suddenly asked me. "Theo, would you like me to read you some stories? Like the good ol' days."
The 'good ol' days' meant 2 years ago. At that time, my grandfather gave me the novel 'Transmigrated into the novel that I wrote, I stole the protagonist's cheats and charmed the aloof heroine, only to find out that I'm not actually an author but a regressor that turned the knowledge of future events into a novel and tricking me into thinking that I'm the author?!?'.
Well, I asked my mother to help me read it since there are some words I really can't understand. It was a fairly cliché novel about an extra stealing the spotlight of the protagonist of the novel, though I think the title just spoiled the twist that came out near the end of the book.
Interestingly, mother made a very strange and somewhat angry face when she looked at the name of the author, Marcos Dervit. It was my grandfather's name, I never knew he was a novelist, it's not like I'm close enough to him to even know his job since my mother really insisted that I must not meet, let alone speak to him. I guess I had early access to his works, neat.
He still has to work on his titles though since the so called 'biggest twist' would just get spoiled as soon as someone sees the title. Not that he could anyways since he passed away last year.
I sat on my mother's laps and she pulled out some books. 'Strange', it was not the usual type of book mother and I liked to read. Instead of fiction, it was more like a guide book on etiquette for nobles.
"Mom, why are we reading this?"
"It will be useful for you in the future, Theo. So just bear with it for just a bit"
I begrudgingly complied. After 2 minutes, however, I was just so bored that I didn't really pay attention to what she was saying and just doze off instead.
After thirty minutes, I was finally freed from the boring reading session. Yawning loudly, I got up from her laps and began preparing for school.
Just as I was about to leave the house, mother called out to me. "Theo, are you sure you absolutely need to go to school today? Mommy will be sad if you leave her alone today you know?"
'Sorry mother, but witnessing Raun's humiliation comes first'. I apologized in my heart.
"I'm sure, mom. I'll be back as soon as school ends so you aren't going to be alone for that long"
To that, mother just gave me a sad smile and hugged me. She hugged my tightly, as if not willing to let me go. However, she soon released me as she saw my face turning blue from the tight hug.
"Well take care then, Theo. Remember, whatever happens, mommy still loves you." She whispered, before letting go of me, the corner of her eyes became wet as she did so.
Strange, she never acted like this. I guess all those etiquette books really did a number on her.
"See you mom!" Shouted me as I was jogging through the snow towards the school.
...
Seeing kids younger than me running around with their friends, I felt a bit envious.
I did not have many friends. Well, more like I only have one, Raun. It's not that I'm antisocial or anything, it's because of my eyes.
When I was 6 years old, I screamed in horror at my reflection. Projected in the mirror was the usual figure of me, with jet black hair and facial features that could be seen as cute. However, the pair of beautiful ocean-blue eyes that I inherited from my mother were gone, replaced by dull grey irises with pupils as black as those void beasts.
Mother immediately took me to the doctor. He had a look of surprise initially, before he broke into cold sweat and started trembling uncontrollably.
After spending 3 minutes calming himself down, he put on some kinds of goggle, fiddled with some weird button and told me that my eyes became the 'Magic eyes of fear'.
Apparently, anyone that maintained even the slightest bit of eye contact with me would feel fear comparable to facing an apex predator that was out for their blood.
Despite that, some adults were still fine even when they looked into my eyes. Although they would flinch a bit when they did so for the first time.
Mother told me that it was the gift god granted me, though I don't know which bastard of a god gave me the gifts that scared everyone my age. Thus, I was unable to make any friends. That was until Raun showed up.
As it turned out, I scared away the people that was bullying him so he saw me as a savior of some sorts. After that, he kept pestering me until I became his friend.
What was weird though is that he was stronger than the bunch that was bullying him, even I can tell that much. And he didn't even flinch even when we made eye contact for a long period of time. Well, he did flinch but it was out of awkwardness, questioning me why I was staring into his eyes.
After shaking myself off nostalgic thoughts, I made a beeline to the school that was only a little further away.
...
"Well, that was disappointing" I muttered as I stood in front of my house, recalling the whole situation with Raun. I didn't expect Amelia of all people would accept Raun's confession. Thus, I returned home without any teasing materials. He even teased me for not having a girlfriend as soon as he saw me again.
I then went inside of my house, only to be met with deathly silence. I couldn't hear the sound of my mother humming like everyday, nor could I feel any presences in my house. However, I brushed it off with a mental shrug. 'She's probably buying groceries or something', I assumed. At the moment, I was just too tired to care.
Thus, I went into my room and plunged down to my bed, falling asleep almost instantly.
I woke up, glancing at the clock as it was my habit. Only two hours passed since I went to bed and my fatigue was already gone.
Sitting up on my bed, I suddenly recalled that it was my birthday. 'So that's why she went out earlier', it was to buy me some gifts, or so I thought.
Last year, she bought me a book on Mana control. I know that it's expensive and all but it was too boring for me, so it ended up collecting dust on my bookshelf. I hope she got me something more interesting this year.
I excitedly jumped out of my bed, ran down the stairs and opened the door to the dining room hastily. However, I was met with a traumatic sight that rendered me speechless. There she was, my mother, sitting on a chair. I could see the dried tears on her cheeks.
Just as I was about to ask her what's wrong, I noticed that a knife was embedded in her throat. I widened my eyes in panic and immediately ran up to her
'Good, she's still alive', I sighed in relief.
Not noticing the increasing turbulence of Mana, I quickly ran towards the cabinet, frantically trying to find the high-grade recovery potion mother always kept for emergencies. It will definitely sav—
<ᚱᛖᚹᛁᚾᛞᛁᛜ ᛏᛁᛗᛖ... ᛈᚱᛟᛊᛏᛟᚱ ᛊᛖᚾᛞᛊ ᛁᛟᚢ ᚺᛁᛊ ᚱᛖᚷᚨᚱᛞᛊ>
***
|Ah, failed again. Now that I know what went wrong, things will really be different next time. See you soon, Monarch of the Storms|
***
<5ᚦ ᚱᛖᚷᚱᛖᛊᛊᛟᚾ ᛊᛏᚨᚱᛏ>
I excitedly jumped out of my bed, ran down the stairs and opened the door to the dining room hastily. However, I was met with a traumatic sight that rendered me speechless. There were no gifts, no cakes, no nothing.
'Did she forget about my birthday?'
I was about to go back to sleep when I noticed a piece of paper on the table. It was written by my mother. To sum it up, the content was that she was abandoning me and I need to live with viscount Nightshade from now on.
Just as I was re-reading the letter to confirm if I was really seeing things, an excruciatingly painful headache assaulted me. Just like that, the headache knocked me out cold.
...
It was dark...
I found myself in a dark place as I regained my consciousness. There weren't anything around but eternal darkness.
'Am I dead? Did I break my neck after falling to the ground? Or am I just hallucinating?' Just as I was questioning my sanity, a man appeared before me. He looked identical my grandfather.
I tried calling out to him but I couldn't move my mouth. He moved closer to me and put both of his hands on my head before chanting something I couldn't understand. Suddenly, I feel very drowsy.
'Well that was to be expected', I thought. After all, I fainted and even hallucinated meeting my dead grandfather.
'Looks like I'm going unconscious this time for real'
Just as I was about to close my eyes. A voice that shook the entirety of my soul rang out.
|Scram|
One simple word was all it took for my drowsiness to vanish into thin air.
I looked at my 'grandfather', expecting him to be the one that had spoken moments prior, but I was surprised to see him all petrified and frightened before he disintegrated into nothing. The voice rang out once more, this time with a slightly annoyed tone.
|I got here just in time, you gotta thank your mommy for this one, blasphemous bastard!|
Just as I was trying to understand what the voice just said, a flood of information suddenly flowed into my brain.
"Wh- What?", I clutched my head with both of my hands in confusion. "P- Planes? Cars? Novels? Arthur? Wh- What's all this!?"
I'm confused... wh... what? No, NO STOP, I'M GOING INSANE—
