47 - Chp 046: How We Shared Our Loneliness

Ivory's POV

Cyan guided me inside the mansion. It was huge. Unnecessarily huge. It took us almost 5 minutes just to get to his room. When we finally got there, he offered me a seat on his bed as he excused himself to change into something more comfortable. 

"Do you wanna change too?" He asked. 

"I'm fine. I didn't bring any other clothes with me." I replied. 

"You can borrow some of mine."

"No need. I appreciate the offer though."

"So, uh..." He said from the closet. "How'd you meet my brother?"

"He was the one that approached me first." I answered. "I used to post videos of myself singing and playing the bass on the internet. They saw my vids and asked if I wanted to join their band. I declined at first, but they kept insisting, so I asked if I could invite my friend too. I guess one thing led to another and next I knew, I was already in a band."

"You came here with that friend of yours?"

"Um, no..."

He finally came out and grabbed a chair to sit in front of me. "Why? Was he not available?"

"It's not that... It's just, we had a big fight, and now we can't even contact him. I don't even think he knows that Teal passed away."

"Then..." He paused for a bit. I looked at him, and he smiled. "Are you lonely?"

"I guess you could say that..."

He stood up and sat beside me. "You know, I was really close with my brother. I don't know if he told you this, but he made a deal with my parents."

"A deal?"

"I wanted to go to this art school for photography. I asked my parents if I could go there. They denied my request, saying that they weren't gonna pay for something so stupid. My brother overheard the conversation and offered to pay the tuition fee only if I could ace the final exams. He was going to work more jobs just for me... Just so that I could fulfill my dreams. I really love my brother... He was such a kind man."

"He mentioned that he was saving up to pay for his brother's tuition, but I wasn't aware that it was a deal with his parents. He doesn't really mention his parents much."

"I can understand that. He grew a bit...distant from our parents. He wanted to pursue music, and our parents saw it as a waste of time and money. They had a fight about it and eventually gave him a choice. It was either music, or his family. He obviously chose music, and that's when he grew distant."

"That sounds horrible... What kind of family would even make you choose between them and your passion?"

"Well, our family. It's honestly common for that kind of thing between families in an environment like this."

"I... I'm sorry for that..."

"Hey, there's nothing to be sorry about... But now that my brother's gone, I feel empty. It's like a huge part of me had just vanished."

"I know how that feels... I guess you're lonely too then. We're the same." I said as I smiled at him to hopefully lift his spirits up.

He looked at me and inched closer. "Do you want to feel less lonely?" He asked, touching my cheek.

"Hey, what are you doing??" I asked very nervously. 

"I'm not doing anything bad. If you don't like what I'm doing, then tell me to stop." He said. 

"It's not that I don't like it..."

"So do you want to do this? We're both guys here. I won't continue without your permission. If you don't want to do this, then I can escort you back to the garden."

"No..." I said as I locked my lips with his.

His lips were soft, and his hands were gentle. His tongue was wrestling with mine as he pinned me down on the bed.

"I'll ask you one more time, do you want to do this?" He asked. 

"I do." I answered. 

He unbuttoned his polo, then started to unbutton mine. We continued to make love. It felt really weird doing it with a guy, but the longer we did it, the more it felt normal. 

He took his polo off and unbuckled his pants. He kissed me aggressively on the neck, and tried to leave a mark, but I stopped him. "I don't want my parents to see." I said.

He nodded and replied. "Then leave me one."

I got up and hugged him. His body was warm and sweaty. It felt weird to do this with a guy, especially since it was my first... But why aren't I disgusted with this? I don't think I've ever been interested in a guy before... 

I sucked on the side of his neck and left a mark there. It was really subtle, but I could've sworn I heard him moan a little. 

His touch was warm and caring. I swear I could do this with him all day. We continued doing it until we both came. 

"You're so cute." He said as he stood up. "I didn't know you could make a lewd face like that." He added while handing me some tissues. 

"Thanks." I replied as I wiped my face.

"You can take a bath here. I'll take one in the other room. You can get some clothes in the closet. I think they'll fit you just fine." He explained as he put on some pants and left for the other room. 

Okay, so let's recap. I came here for Teal's wake and discovered that he's a kid from a rich family. I met his brother and ended up having sex with him. Now, I'm inside his brother's room and was offered some clothes to wear for the meantime. What the fuck actually just happened?

I got up and looked inside the closets for towels and clothes I could use. I grabbed some and stepped inside the bathroom to take a bath. What's wrong with me... I must be crazy for doing something like that. This is insane! Absolutely nuts! But he looked like such a nice guy... No, we only did it because it was in the moment. Yeah, that's it! It's just a one time thing. Nothing more. 

After my bath, I opened the door and saw Cyan, sitting down on the bed. He looked at me and smiled. "How do you feel?" He asked. 

"I guess I'm fine." I replied. "That was my first time, and I did it with a guy."

"I wouldn't really count it as a 'first time' if I were you. We didn't really go all the way." He laughed. 

"Right... It wasn't all the way..." I stopped a little and looked at the time. It was almost 5pm. I forgot I still have to prepare dinner. "Hey, Cyan, it was nice meeting you and all, but I've gotta go. I don't know what came over me to make me wanna do those things with you, but I'm really sorry."

I opened the door to exit his room, but he slammed it shut again while leaning on me. "You wouldn't have done it if you weren't lonely too." He said while taking something out of his pocket. It was his number. "Send me a text when you get home." He added as he handed it to me. "Take care, okay?"

I got out of the room and traced my steps back to the garden. I met up with Carnation and Kuro, and the three of us decided to head home. They brought me to my house, then went home immediately. 

I opened the door and exclaimed. "I'm home!"

"Welcome home!" The twins answered as they ran to me and tackled me to the ground. 

"Hey!" I said as I laughed and picked them both up. 

"Welcome home, dear." my mom greeted me as she came and took the twins from me. "Dinner's ready. Come to the kitchen."

"I'm not hungry, mom. Can I just go straight to my room?"

"Alright, but I'll bring you some snacks to your room later. At least eat that."

"Thanks, mom."

I went up to my room and took a shower immediately. I felt so sticky, and not the sweaty kind. Right, I forgot to send Cyan that text. What does this make us now anyway? We aren't going out, and I'm sure we aren't friends. Are we fuck buddies? We didn't really fuck though. Then are we just acquaintances? This is absolutely confusing.

Why'd I even do it anyway? I guess I was just caught up in the moment. He was right. I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't lonely too. I can't believe this is what I'm doing now that my best friend's gone... No, I'm doing this because my best friend's gone. This is his fault! But... It's really mine...

I stepped out of the bath and picked my phone up. I typed in Cyan's number and sent him a text. "Hey, I got home a while ago. I took a bath first and I just came out."

I lied down on my bed and hugged a nearby pillow. I could sleep right now and ignore any notifications from my phone.

Just as I thought that, my phone vibrated. I picked it up and saw Cyan had replied. "That's good to know. Text me if you ever feel lonely again. We can talk things out, or maybe we could do it again. Maybe we could go all the way next time."

That night wasn't the last time we talked. Some days after, he texted me saying that he wanted to do it again... And so we did... He frequently asked for it days after too. We did it over and over and over again, and I guess I got kinda used to it since I sometimes texted him to do it too. We used each other just to fill the voids in our hearts. I didn't think much of it since it wasn't like he didn't get anything out of it. He was the one who started it anyway, so it's fair.

I guess you could say we became friends because of it. We weren't close friends, but we were friends. He knew stuff about me that I haven't told Carnation and Kuro, and I knew stuff about him that he hid from other people as well. Let me just say, his life was way more fucked up than I could've ever imagined.