4 Chapter 3

I walk ahead to school and go to the table me and my friends sit at and sit down, I take out my book and read since no one is there yet. I soon get interrupted by my friend Katrina rushing up to me.

"Hey! Your here early again!" She shouts as she reaches the table. "What's up?"

"Yesterday that guy kinda saved me from being harassed by some girls so I decided to give him a chance. A kind of test run thing." I tell her nervously, her eyes grow wide and she looks beyond shocked.

"Well I didn't expect that." She says with surprise evident in her voice. "Are you sure he didn't set that up to get you to say yes to him?"

"I'm sure. Those girls always harass me but he did say he knew about it..."

"Just be careful Krystal. You said yesterday he creeps you out so there must be something about this guy that makes you feel like that. Trust your instincts." Katrina says in a firm tone. I look at her and nod my head in agreement just as the bell rings. "I'll see you at lunch. Bye."

"Bye."

School goes about as normal and soon it was after school. I start my walk home and stop by Heidi's house as usual to hang out and talk, she's outside waiting for me and when she sees me she rushes me.

"Sooo... did you think about it?!" She asks eagerly and gets in my face.

"Yes and I saw him this morning and already told him I'll give it a chance." I tell her then prepare myself to hear her squeal excitedly which she does. "Owww." I whine as I cover my ears.

"Sorry! I'm just so excited! I know you guys will make a great couple. He's been talking about you and how much he likes you for months now!"

"He has?" I ask in shock and she nods her head yes. "I had no idea..."

"He kept it a secret except from me, he said he just felt like you didn't like him and he shouldn't pursue you. But lately he said he can't take his mind off of you and he just wants you to be his." She explains with a smile on her face.

In my mind I'm thinking about how creepy that sounds but I decide to push the negative thought out of my head and give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Well we're together now. I just hope he's someone I can grow to love, I still don't quite feel comfortable with him but I'm hoping that changes over time." I tell her seriously then sigh heavily.

"I'm sure he'll grow on you Krystal. He's shown me he really loves and cares about you. He hasn't even looked at other girls since he developed a crush on you." She tells me sincerely as she looks me in the eyes.

"Really?" I ask her, she nods and smiles. "Well at least I know he will be devoted..."

"I know he will and if he isn't I'll make him pay." Heidi smiles making me smile as well.

"Thanks."

I stay and talk with her for a few hours before I go home since the sun is starting to set. I walk cautiously past those girls houses and practically sprint around the corner to get away. They weren't outside and I don't want to risk them seeing me alone. I slowly walk home once I'm clear from that area, I hate going home because it's so boring.

"Where've you been?!" My grandma shouts as I walk up to the front door.

"With Heidi as always grandma, you know that." I tell her with a sour tone as I squeeze past her.

"I really wish you wouldn't leave me alone for so long with these bastards trying to kill me!" She shouts and glares out the front door.

"I'm not having this discussion yet again grandma. I'm going to do my homework." I grumble with annoyance and head to my room.

Once in my room I start on my homework and basically repeat what I did yesterday, it's the same routine every day so it gets boring rather quickly.

———————————————————————————

"It's been a week Heidi! What happened to him?!" I shout and proceeded to freak out.

"How should I know?!" She shouts back and looks just as worried.

"Have you called?"

"Duh! I've been to his house too and no one knows where he is! They said it's common for him to just disappear but not for this long!"

"It's sad that his family isn't worried about him and isn't out looking for him. I hope he didn't do this intentionally. This is making me mad Heidi. We just get together and then he just disappears without a trace! Who does that?!" I shout and groan loudly as I sit on the bench outside her house. "Heck of a test run, I finally say yes and he just leaves."

"I don't think he did it intentionally Krystal, he's been wanting to be with you for months. I think something bad happened." She says nervously.

"I hope not. I may not love him but I still care about him and since we are together I feel more worry for him." I tell her sadly and let out a sigh.

"It'll be ok Krystal. I know he will come back to you sooner or later." She says reassuringly and smiles softly.

"I hope so and I hope it's sooner. I really want to give him a chance."

———————————————————————————

"Two weeks now Heidi. Two weeks. I don't know whether to be mad, sad, upset, scared or what! What's really making me mad is his family still doesn't care! Every time we call or come by they just casually say 'oh he's not back yet' who does that?!" I shout in frustration as I pace in her front yard.

"Calm down Krystal. I'm sure he's fine and probably just got stuck somewhere or something." She replies calmly but you can hear the concern in her voice.

"I don't believe that. He still could of called his parents and told them to let us know he was ok. I just agreed to be his girlfriend the morning he left Heidi. He knows his house number and could of gathered change and gone to a payphone and called them."

"Yeah your right."

"How do we know he isn't dead or something? How do we know he wasn't kidnapped or if he's laying in a ditch somewhere? What if he can never come back?" I ramble which made her grin at me.

"And you said you don't love him." She teases.

"I don't! I just care about him just like I care about you and all my other friends. If one of you went missing I'd be freaking out just as much and you know it!" I shout at her and start pacing again. "I can't handle this stress. I already have enough stress because of my grandma and school and I don't need it from worrying about my boyfriend."

"What are you going to do when he comes back?" She asks curiously.

"I don't know. Hug him of course and find out what the hell happened. If he did this on purpose then I'm breaking up with him. He wanted me so bad and if he left willingly and left me worrying then I don't want him."

"Isn't that a little harsh?"

"Heidi, if you had a guy begging to be your boyfriend and you finally said yes only to have him willingly up and leave you hanging without so much as a note wouldn't you be mad and break up with him too?" I ask her with a tone that says 'the answer is obvious'.

"Yeah you're right." She sighs and looks at me. "I just hope this isn't the case and he was kidnapped or something."

"Honestly I wish the same thing. I really wanted to give him a chance..." I say with a heavy sigh as I sit down. "You know I want someone to love that loves me and I thought maybe I could find it with him but I guess I'm just not meant to be happy." I say sadly and hang my head.

"Don't take one bad experience and let it bring you down." She says reassuringly in a soft voice. "If he's not the one then he's not the one and I'll help you find someone better."

"Heidi, you know guys don't like me because of my weight..."

"Then lose the weight." She says simply and shrugs. "It's not like you're super fat, you're just overweight."

"Easier said than done. You know what it's like with my grandma. She doesn't exactly buy healthy foods and you have to stay here and wait for your parents or else you get yelled at otherwise I know we'd go walking or something." I tell her sadly.

"For you it's not how much you eat it's what you eat. It just sticks to you."

"Yeah. You know I don't eat much but it's not like I exercise a lot either."

"You know what Krystal, don't even worry about it. You'll want a man to love you for you and not care what you look like. You'll find your love one day and when you do you'll be so happy." She tells me confidently and smiles brightly.

"Yeah, you're....right. Mike?!" I shout making her jump and look, we both see Mike walking up and smiling at us.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Heidi shouts then jumps up and gets in his face.

"I left for a while to be with some friends. No biggie." He says like it's nothing and shrugs.

Those words broke me and broke my heart. He did leave willingly and stayed gone on purpose. I look at Heidi and she looks just as hurt because she knows I'm hurting.

"How could you just up and leave like that without a word?! You know we went to your house countless times and no one knew anything about where you were or anything?! We've been worried sick!" She shouts in a extremely pissed off tone.

"Jeez I didn't think you guys would worry that much about me." He says defensively but is smiling.

"We've been worried sick!"

"Mike, you willingly left right after we got together and stayed gone. You didn't call or even leave a note. I can't stay with someone who will just up and leave me like that and leave me worrying. We thought you were kidnapped or died or something. I'm sorry but it's over." I tell him firmly but sadly and walk by him to head home.

"Krystal wait!" He shouts and starts to come after me but Heidi grabs his arm and stops him.

"Me and you need to have a serious talk." She says firmly, I hear him sigh sadly as I walk away and fight back tears.

I head home and keep my head down. I pass by those girls and they try talking to me but I just ignore them, I hear them call me names but I don't care right now. I walk to my house and enter and just head to my room and sulk, I just feel so sad and depressed even more than usual.

I can't believe he willingly left me. All that talk of how much he liked me and wanted me to be his and he just leaves me hanging, wondering if he's live or dead or if he'll ever come back.

I want a relationship. I want love, I want to love someone and be loved by someone. But stupid me thinking I can have that, I'm not worthy of love. I'm not wanted, needed or desired. I'm just another face in the crowd and another person to push around and either make fun of or ignore.

I decide to just eat and go to bed early so I go make my TV dinner and eat then change for bed. I climb into bed and cuddle up under the covers, I grab my teddy bear and hold it closely and cry silently. I might not love him but that still hurt me badly knowing he didn't think enough of me to say he was leaving for a while. If I knew then I'd be fine but he left me hanging like he didn't care about me, like I was a nobody.

That's exactly what I feel like right now...a nobody.