13 Episode 13 - Answering Questions

"Let's meet at the corner of Canal and Broadway," said the deep voice eagerly in his ear. "Is that far from you?"

"No, that's okay." Amari gave a small bow toward his aunt and uncle as he exited the shop, then started up the street. "It'll be around ten minutes."

"Alright. I'll wait for you there. Call if anything changes."

The man sounded so nervous, it made him huff out a small laugh. "Wèi, Yang ge... I can walk in a straight line for eight blocks. I'm not completely helpless."

"That's not what I meant. I..." Yangyang's voice trailed off. "Ah. You're making fun of me."

"Yeah." He smirked, savoring the rare occasion when he wasn't on the receiving end of the teasing. "Ten minutes."

"Alright."

There was a beep and the call ended. Sticking the phone back into his pocket, he pulled at his shirt as he shuffled down the sidewalk. He had dressed nicely because he hadn't seen shūshu and āyí in such a long time, but now it really did look like he was going on a date. He groaned, wondering if he would be teased for this as well. It was tempting to take the button-down off, but it would be too cold with just a t-shirt.

During the walk, he tried to imagine this secret place he was being dragged off to. If it was something Yangyang was sure he would like, it must involve music, and it couldn't be anywhere crowded. Nowhere came to mind that met both criteria, so he soon gave up guessing. Instead, he listed to the sounds of Canal Street, scolding himself for staying away. It was one thing to stay isolated from others, but to avoid shūshu and āyí was wrong. He would definitely have to visit more often, even if that meant sitting through their what-do-you-plan-to-do-with-your-life talks.

Too caught up in his thoughts, he almost lost count of the blocks, and just as he realized he had reached the corner, a figure stepped out in front of him. He slammed face first into the man's chest and jumped back in surprise.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

He gave a quick bow of his head in apology, swearing under his breath, and was about to shift to the side when he heard a familiar sound.

"Yeah, you should really watch where you're going," said the deep voice, playful but kind.

"Asshole." Amari frowned, looking away.

The insult didn't phase Yangyang, who only chuckled and threw an arm around the boy's shoulders, dragging him along the crosswalk toward the station. "If we hurry, we should catch the next train on time."

Though he only groaned in reply, inside Amari felt a bit excited, suppressing a smile.

Yangyang walked quickly, his stride long, but he wasn't forceful. He guided the boy, protecting him from running into people and objects, but he did it in such a casual way, it felt like he was simply walking with any friend. Into the station, through the gate, down the stairs, and onto the subway car, he kept his arm draped over the boy's shoulders and gently pulled him along.

In the car, Amari took a seat next to the door and Yangyang sat beside him, slouching and spreading his legs. As the doors closed, the man let out a small chuckle.

"What're you laughing at?"

"What's with the shirt?" Yangyang chuckled again, gently tugging at his sleeve. "Got a hot date I don't know about? Ah, or maybe a funeral?"

"Shut up."

"Seriously, though. You always wear black. Is that all you own?"

Scratching at his head, Amari looked down at his lap, feeling self-conscious. "Yeah... Makes it easier to get dressed."

"Ah. I guess that makes sense."

There was an awkward pause and then Yangyang let out a loud sigh, stretching his arms above his head.

"Long day?" Amari asked gruffly. "We can do this some other time, if you're tired."

The man playfully bounced his curls under a hand. "Yeah, right. Like I would let you run away now."

"Whatever." Folding his arms, Amari leaned his head back against the window.

"It's just been one of those days. Long and frustrating." Yangyang poked him in the shoulder. "So, I'm glad you agreed to this. I need to blow off a little steam."

He thought about asking why the man's day had been bad, but he never asked people about their problems and found it difficult to start now. Instead, he just nodded and sat in silence as the train rattled and jolted along the tracks.

After passing a couple of stops without speaking, Yangyang cleared his throat and elbowed Amari in the arm. "You don't have to answer this if it's too personal, but I keep wondering about it."

"Ask or don't ask, and I'll answer or I won't. Don't be dramatic about it."

Yangyang huffed. "It could still be too personal, even if you answer. We can't all be intentionally rude like you."

"Just ask the fucking question."

"Well, I have two questions," the man said, still a little hesitant. "I was wondering what you actually see. You said you aren't completely blind yet."

Amari shrugged, picking at his thumbnail. "I dunno. I've never tried to explain it to someone before."

"Never?" Yangyang leaned over, closer to his face. It felt like he was staring. "Don't you have to tell your doctor about it?"

"What doctor? I'm not diseased... There're only a few people who know, and they either didn't ask or I didn't answer."

"Ah." Sounding somewhat defeated, the man sat back in his seat, and Amari sighed.

"I guess if I had to describe it..." His voice trailed off as he thought. "It's like, if you took a photo, and made it so outta focus you could barely tell one thing from another, and then removed all the color."

"You can't see colors?"

"Everything's just light or dark. Which looks like black, white, or shades of grey." He scratched at his head. "But, my vision wasn't always impaired, so I can kinda picture different colors in my mind. Only basic colors now, though. Nothing fancy."

Shifting over to let someone sit next to him, the man's closeness made Amari flinch. "Fancy?"

"Uh, yeah... Like, blue is blue. I can't imagine different shades of blue." He cleared his throat, feeling uneasy after talking so much.

"Ah." Yangyang hummed in thought and Amari responded with a snort. "Sorry. Bad habit, I guess."

"Nah."

There was an awkward pause as they reached another stop and people shuffled on and off the train, the noise of the busy station drifting through the open doors.

"What's the other question?" asked Amari when the train began moving again. "You said you had two."

"Ah, yeah." The man hesitated again. "What caused it?"

Amari was quiet and Yangyang made some kind of gesture with his hands. "Not how it happened. I mean... I guess you weren't born with it, so is it a medical condition?"

Amari stayed quiet for another moment and then in a soft voice said, "It's from a head injury, when I was fourteen. Damaged both optic nerves."

Through the chatter from passengers and the noise of the train screeching along the rails, Amari heard the little breath Yangyang took at his response. His brain began to panic, wondering if this was the moment that would destroy any hope of a normal friendship - the moment that marked the beginning of pity, sympathy, and special treatment. But, like always with Yangyang, he just answered, without weighing the consequences first.

"That's really shitty."

The man said it as if it was any other bad event. If Amari had been dumped by a lover or lost his job, he imagined he would have received the same response. It was a weird feeling. At first, he was almost upset, hoping Yangyang would care more, but then it struck him that maybe he really did care. Not because it was a tragic thing to feel bad about, but because something bad had happened to him.

"Yeah." He didn't know what else to say. It was already an uncomfortable topic, and to just leave it out there, hanging without talking about it, made him tense.

"I have one more question," said Yangyang after a moment, making Amari stiffen.

"Yeah?"

"Why do you always answer my questions?" The man's voice was low, and sounded almost shy. Amari wished he could see the expression on his face.

He scratched the side of his head and looked away. "No idea."

Yangyang let out a short, breathy laugh, but didn't say anything else, and the announcement for the next stop chimed over the intercom. He gave the boy's knee a tap. "This is our stop."

"Thirty-Fourth Street?" Amari wondered what he could have planned in this area. "Are we going shopping?"

"Ah, yeah." With a chuckle, Yangyang stood and coaxed him toward the door. "I thought you would love to go to Macy's and pick out some new clothes." On the platform, the man wrapped an arm around his shoulders again, and led him easily through the crowd.