114 Episode 112 - Kaleidoscope

"Bonjour mes amours!" welcomed Ziggy, his sweet and sunny voice carrying through the mic and out the large speakers positioned to either side of the stage. The Bandshell in Prospect Park wasn't huge, but it was larger than anywhere Amari had performed before. He could feel his stomach turn to knots, staring out at the blurry, swarming sea of people ahead.

Knowing his nerves were creeping up, his friend put a hand on his shoulder and stood over him as he continued speaking to the crowd.

"Many of you know me. This is my favorite weekend, even more than the big deal stuff next week across the river. This year, I get to spend it on stage with my favorite people! And, along with the street festival stages, we managed to snag The Bandshell!"

There were a few whoops and some applause and Ziggy chuckled. "Antèka, since the first act should be family friendly, I invited my family to play for you." Louder cheers erupted from across the lawn and Amari took a shaky breath. "Aww, you are so sweet! Make sure you take care of these guys. They are very precious to me, tsé?"

More applause followed and Ziggy gave Amari a hard kiss on the cheek, then backed away to tune his guitar. Amari cleared his throat and flushed, scratching at the side of his head.

"Uh, I kinda hate this part of the show, but I'm the vocalist, so I'm s'posed to talk to you." There were some chuckles from up front and a few murmurs in the crowd. "We're Little Lily, with a large number of special guests, and we're excited to be here."

He smiled, his chest warming as he thought of how many people were joining him on stage. "If you follow the indie music scene, we're the band formerly known as Yin and Yang. I married into the family and we had to change the name." He pointed to the side of his face. "As you can see from the giant, rainbow-glitter lily on my face, I'm Lily. Not really, but my family calls me Xiao Li, and now my surname's also Li, so... Xiao Li Li. Little Lily."

He shifted on the stool, scratching at his thigh with a frown.

"You know, I don't mind the rainbow hair, or face, or piercings, or bracelets, or Chucks... but Ziggy made me wear this damn tutu this year." A loud echo of hoots and hollering and whistles hit him from the audience, making him smirk. "I'm sure I look good, but these things are so uncomfortable, aren't they? Even with jeans underneath.

"Anyway, quick introductions, then we'll play some music." He pointed back over his shoulder toward the piano. "That incredibly sexy man sitting at the piano's my husband, Yangyang. We just got married in February."

There was a heavy wave of cheers and Amari beamed. "I know, right? Thank you. He'll be playing piano, guitar, and violin. This's his first Pride, so be good to him. He's newly outed and we don't wanna scare him away." There were more cheers and some laughs.

"Then, somewhere around here's my new wild-child son." Amari listened for the bells and pointed when he heard them jingle. "Over there. He had a blast letting Ziggy dress him up and will be our random backup dancer."

He pointed toward Yinyi on the guitar. "Then we have Yinyi, my sexy husband's sister, who'll be playing guitar and violin."

"Wow. Thanks for that introduction," Yinyi muttered sarcastically into her microphone. "I was the lead vocalist of this band before you came along, you know?" Amari just nodded and she huffed a laugh at him.

"Rounding out the rest of the original band are Bowen on the drums, and Zach on the bass." He gestured toward both with a smile.

"Then you all know my eccentric, surrogate father, Ziggy, who will be showing us his guitar skills." He turned toward the back of the stage. "Behind us, acting as our DJ for today, we have the man we all affectionately call Uncle Joe. For those who know Ziggy well, it's official. He's now in an actual, committed relationship." There were some murmurs and cheers, as well as a few loud shouts from the audience, and Amari heard Ziggy complaining behind him. "It's honestly been a strange year for all of us."

Amari shifted on his stool again, facing the crowd. "Also joining us is an orchestra, made up of many friends of ours. I'm excited about that, because we've never performed these songs with many instruments. Some were only sung in private, with just an acoustic guitar.

"Since we've gathered to celebrate love, regardless of what form that love takes, we decided to play a collection of love songs my husband and I actually sang to each other during our relationship, along with a few we never got the chance to." Amari smiled, scratching the side of his head. "I'm talking a lot right now, but I've always been pretty crap at expressing my feelings. Surprisingly, it's difficult to convince someone you're madly in love with them and you'll support them through anything when you're crap at expressing your feelings.

"Luckily, I found I could sing those feelings instead." He chuckled softly, thinking of the all of the emotions he'd felt and promises he'd made through singing. "People who know me know I'm always blunt, and my singing's no different. So, these're some songs we've sung to each other over the past year and a half. Though, mostly me to him. Unlike me, he's very skilled at expressing himself."

There were more cheers and applause and murmurs. He let out a breath.

"Okay. Enough with the talking. Let's make some music, yeah?"

There was a heavy wave of applause across the lawn and Amari waved a hand to the band behind him. Once the music started, he found that even when the audience was loud, he could easily focus on just the instruments and the lyrics. He pictured himself on the small stage in the club, or in his living room with Yangyang and Taitai. As always, he was swept away in each song, letting everything he had out into the world.

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Over an hour later, hot and sweaty in the June sun, he felt a small towel cover his head and a wet, sticky arm wrap around his shoulders. "This stage is too big," Yangyang grumbled at his side and Amari smiled wide at the whining. "I'm too far away. I like the small, club stages better."

"I miss Yang ge too." Amari smirked, teasing him and his clingy nature. "But this's kinda nice. Playing with the orchestra. There's so much sound... It's beautiful."

Yangyang chuckled. "You're beautiful." He put a hand over the mic. "I still like you best in your underwear, with an acoustic guitar, singing in our living room."

Amari flushed, looking out over the crowd as if he could tell whether they heard. Yangyang chuckled again, pulling his chin up and giving him a deep kiss. The action received loud whoops and cheers from the crowd, which only made Amari's cheeks grow hotter.

"Back to the piano I go," Yangyang said with a sad huff.

Returning to the mic, Amari cleared his throat, forcing his embarrassment away.

"Okay, we've got two songs left. These are two we haven't sung before, but we wanted to take advantage of the full accompaniment." His stool was gone and he adjusted the stand in front of him. "The first song's Kaleidoscope by A Great Big World. Before we start... Usually, as a band, we only play for charity. We recorded all these songs in studio, and the album's for sale, if you're interested."

He pointed a thumb to the back of the stage with a grin. "Uncle Joe runs the studio, so 100% of what you give goes to VIBE, The Center for the Visually Impaired and Blind, right here in Downtown Brooklyn. It's a place that's close to my heart. My day job's working as a teacher for children who're blind or have visual-impairments, as well as interpreter, support for parents, and whatever else's needed."

Amari anxiously scratched at the side of his head. Over the past few months, he had made multiple speeches like this, but he felt shy every time.

"I lost my sight as a result of abuse when I was fourteen. I had very little protection growing up and lost even that after coming out. So I ran away and came to this city, homeless, at sixteen. I was lucky to have people who've helped me along the way, some of them on this stage today and some in the crowd with you, but I didn't get any formal support. The resources that VIBE provides to this city're invaluable."

There were loud cheers and applause as Amari cleared his throat again and smiled. "Also, whatever you can give today, Ziggy and Uncle Joe have promised to match the amount and donate to the Brooklyn Community Pride Center! And starting next week, the Pride Center will be partnering with VIBE to provide resources and classes at their location. As many of us know, living in this city can be difficult. Trying to struggle through that and find a safe space to be yourself... it can be a nightmare. But there is help out there. Help I didn't know existed. I hope you'll consider donating, because it really does make a difference."

Amari's smile turned to a grin as he heard complaints behind him. Ziggy hadn't actually promised to donate anything, but he and Joe had been nagging him the entire week, and now he was stuck.

"Okay. Pity sales-pitch over. I really like this song, Kaleidoscope. I can't actually see color. All of the vibrancy of this celebration is honestly lost on me. But now I've found a family and found myself. Even though I don't see things the way others do, I think my life's no less colorful."

He lifted his hand to let everyone know he was ready and started clapping to the beat, others behind him and out in the crowd following as the instruments began playing.

The words spoke to Amari, because color to him was more than visual. His life before was literally black and white. Now, it was more colorful than he ever imagined it could be.

He heard faint little bells at his side, almost drowned out by the music behind him. With a bright smile, he took the mic in his hand and crouched down as he sang the next verse, Taitai clapping along.

When the music softened, only Yangyang at the piano, he closed his eyes, trying to picture the colors and shapes in the song. He vaguely knew the image and it seemed a perfect analogy for his life now. Bright and wild and chaotic, made of a multitude of broken pieces that fit perfectly together, always shifting and changing alongside each other.

As the instruments filled his ears again, he felt the happiness he could only feel on a stage, playing with his family.