9 The Underground 5

Muffles wiggled out from under the spider after a long arduous struggle of wiggling and shifting the spidery body off of herself, honestly your lucky I summed it up into one sentence because it took entirely too long. When she finally stood back up she glared down at me evolving into a face of contempt. This didn't pass so I figured I would talk first since she was being so rude and all.

"What do you want from me Muffles? I wasn't going to hold him up, do you have any idea what it's like being thrust into a spider? To feel its messy organs wiggle from the inside, not to mention all those sticky webs it stores."

"No, I only know what it feels like to be crushed and jabbed by one." She was still peeved despite my reasonable reason for letting her be crushed.

I'm not sure why my answer didn't resolve any bitter thoughts on her part. Not to mention I saved her life. I mean sure I put myself back to normal size immediately letting her be crushed, but it wasn't my fault she was too slow to move. Like if you Reader were about to be crushed by a giant spider wouldn't you move? Yea exactly you would, I'm going to trust you agreed with me because I can't actually hear or see or…yea you get it.

"If you can do all these crazy things why can't you just make legs and walk?"

"Finally a decent question, the first one you have ever asked actually. For you see Muffles, I'm limited to a pointy object. Due to this horrible stipulation I'm more likely to stab myself into a different surface, I am also unable to change my base shape. I can make myself look like a longsword, or spear but in reality the base shape of a straight sword will always be within. I can also change my weight at will here watch this."

Stabbing into the floor I increased my weight by a few hundred pounds making Muffles stumble as she tried to keep hold of me. Inevitably she dropped me. When she bent down to pick me up I made myself normal weight again.

"So if you didn't like that Dorian person how did he move you around? Did he make some kind of deal with you?" Alas Muffles was doomed to one good question. Sorry Reader this will be a rerun for you.

"If you had my scabbard and put me inside before I jammed myself into a rock then you could take me anywhere against my will. And no he didn't make a deal with me. In his case it would have been hard to even if he knew my true nature since he couldn't talk to me, only a female can. More specifically a female with the blessing of…uhh blessing isn't the word let's say curse of a crazy prat can talk to me. So no, I didn't just let him lift me, and he couldn't make any kind of deal because he didn't even know I could talk."

She didn't instantly respond. I think that she was thinking about our conversation. Man I forgot how long conversations can be especially when waiting for a response. Finally she spoke again, apparently done absorbing all that information which honestly wasn't even that much to begin with but she is a meat-bag so some lee-way is necessary.

"Wait so at any point you could make yourself too heavy for me to lift and leave me to fend for myself?"

Huh, I admit Reader I was like 99 percent sure she was going to ask me where to find a nice rock in this cave. At which time I would make fun of her and gloat that she is just like you Reader a rock-lover but this is…You know I think it's best I lie here Reader i don't want to spook off my legs you know?

"Of course not Muffles I would never do something so terrible." I assured her, doing my best to make my thinking voice sound genuine and nice.

"Ok we need some ground rules or i'm not going to bring you with me."

Meh I tried, you know Reader I have to say, it was easier to trick people when they couldn't talk to me.

"if you don't promise to behave like a normal talking sword and not screw me over at some point I'm going to put you back in the rock."

"Muffles chill out. I am bored of being in a rock and you need a sword."

"I want you to promise not to try to get me killed." She answered stubbornly.

Meat-bags are truly so distrusting, personally I've only ever tried to actively kill one person in my life so it's rather unfair that i'm just randomly not trusted now.

"Listen Muffles I wouldn't try to get you killed while we're in this cave. How is that beneficial to me? We're like symbioses or symbiotes? You know that parasite that actually helps both the host and itself." My clever and thoughtful response didn't sway Muffles.

"Promise me or I'm not taking you." She answered sternly vaguely reminding me of a half-meat with silly beliefs that promises made at word are unbreakable. Although breaking a promise would tarnish my good name so in this case it might be....I bet she thinks she's soooo clever because she can hear my thoughts.

"Fine I promise to behave like a normal talking sword and not get you killed while you are fighting something."

That proved to be enough for her and we continued further into the cave system with me deciding which way to go at intersections. It was slow going but at least we didn't come across more spiders.

"What's so special about your scabbard?" Muffles broke the silence after almost an hour of walking through webbed tunnels.

Ah man, Reader I can't believe I have to explain something I've already explained that's lame. Alas we will have to undergo this terrible burden together. After all, it is only together that we can endure the burden of explaining things twice. It truly is sad isn't it Reader that she didn't just read the prologue what a sad depressing meat-bag. Muffles grip on me tightened, she probably thought it comforted me like a hug but really it was kinda uncomfortable.

"My scabbard was made by a spooky ghost. Its ghostliness stops me from becoming heavy and the spookiness of it makes it so the inside is bigger than the out so even if I get pointy in a different direction I can't break it."

I know what you're thinking Reader. "..b.b.b.bb.u..tt Swordy" You know in your usual silly trembling voice. "That's not what you said in the prologue."

Look Reader you're gonna have to just accept things, I like to mix it up. All the key details are in there so keep your small Reader accusations to your own thoughts. Of course you have the real and more thorough explanation but this one hits the same points.

"Wait, are ghosts real?" Muffles asked not at all caring about my cool explanation, If I had eyes I would be rolling them.

"Of course they are, not all meat-bags want to be meat-bags and the best way to not be one is to become a ghost."

She scratched the top of her head which was still coated in spider brains and now dried green blood. "Is that really the reason someone becomes a ghost?"

"OK Muffles, why else would a meat-bag become one if you're suuuuch a ghost expert?"

That stumped her, instead of a retort she shrugged and started to pick out spider brains from her hair evidently she's self-conscious. Poor Muffles, she might be as dim as you Reader. Well not quite, I don't mean to call you out for being dumb Reader but I mean come on most worlds know what a sword is. OH what's that? You know what a sword is? Well of course you do now, after I explained what one was in the prologue.