The Olympic Hopeful, now Hopeless

Rejected….after more than eleven years of training, after having competed in and won so many local and regionals…rejected for the one thing she could not change however much she tried…

Ren Fenlan didn't feel the cold seeping through her jacket or her leggings. All she felt was hot, the heat of her shame and disappointment. All she heard was her own crying, until a voice said, "What do you call what you and the others were doing out there on the ice?"

It was a male voice, and it sounded young and friendly. Without looking at him, she replied, "How—how do you not know what skating is?"

"So it's called 'skating'…Imagine I was brought up somewhere far away from civilization, and tell me about it," the voice suggested.

"I'd really rather be alone right now," she said. "Can't you please go away?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't. It seems to me that right now, what you really need most is a friend. Otherwise, all the negativity you're feeling is going to spiral out of control on you. So, tell me about it." The young guy told her.

"It was the regional tryout for the Olympic semifinals," she knew as she said it that she was garbling it. "The Olympics are the biggest competition there is, athletes come from all over the world to compete. It's what I've been training for since I was six, and now it's over. I'll never have another chance…"

"Why not?"

She drew a deep breath even though there was a huge hot lump in her throat. "Because I'm already eighteen. I'm too old and I'm too heavy."

He laughed. "You are not too old and you are not too heavy. Believe me, you are anything but old and fat. Anyway, I'm pretty sure the judges were bribed."

"Bribed?" She raised her head and frowned at the skating rink. "Even so, for skating I am getting too old and have too much of a figure. It's a matter of flexibility and where the center of gravity is. The Olympics are a year away, and I'm just going to get older and more developed. It's my fault. Eight years ago I was too young. Four years ago, I got bronchitis six weeks before the semifinals."

"I don't see how getting bronchitis could be your fault."

"I let myself get run down, trying to train and go to school and hang out with my friends. I wasn't sleeping or eating right. It turned into pneumonia. My lungs were scarred, and I was still coughing. By the time I got better, it was too late.

"Now I'm too old and too developed. Bribery or not, that's the truth. I was fooling myself. My parents—it would have meant so much to them. I would have represented the family and the family business. I could have paid them back. The training was so expensive. Even if I only got a bronze medal…"

"You get medals for winning at the Olympics, like war heroes?" the unknown guy asked.

"I suppose. Everyone competes for the honor of their country. Bronze is for third place, silver for second, and gold for first." The thought of what she would never achieve made her sob again.

"What about platinum? Isn't platinum more valuable than gold?"

"Platinum. I guess it is, but there is no platinum medal."

The guy chuckled. "You mean there wasn't, because until now, no one was good enough."

As he said that, something heavy and silvery fell into her lap.

It was a platinum (or at least platinum colored) chain with a large medallion pendant hanging from it.

"What?!"

For the first time, Ren Fenlan looked up at the person she had been talking to.

He was a god. Never mind that she had never seen a god before, she knew that was what he had to be. He was dressed like a crown prince from ancient history, his white hair was long enough to trail on the ground, and his skin was the exact color and texture of new snow, except that it was also faintly luminous. He was also the handsomest man she had ever seen. Never mind the men on the movies or on TV, he was better looking than any idol.

She couldn't speak. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't even blink. All she could do was sit there and fill her eyes with him.

Finally her body made her take a breath before she passed out or died.

"You are—?" she stammered out.

"Xueshan," he replied. "I've wondered, over the centuries, why I've never fallen in love with any of the young goddesses in Heaven. It's for the same reason real flowers are better than one carved out of jade, no matter the quality of the stone or the skill of the artisan. It lacks scent and spontaneity. And then also," his face took on a tinge of pink, "they weren't you."

"That's—but my nose and my eyes swell up when I cry. I look awful," Ren Fenlan scrambled to her feet.

"The sky is still the sky, whether it's cloudy or storming or clear," Xueshan said. "When you were skating—it was like watching your soul dancing. Will you—be my bride? Before you answer, that means you'll never see your family or your friends again, ever. And never having children, because it's not only rare, it's usually fatal when the mother is human and the father is a god."

"I don't know," Ren Fenlan said. She had studied world mythology, and knew that while some gods—notably the Greek and Roman ones—were perverts, rapists and seducers to the point where girls would turn into trees to avoid them, her own country's gods were perfect gentlemen in comparison. "Won't Heaven object? I don't want to say yes and then be separated from you all the time except for one night a year."

"As long as I fulfill my duties and don't try to sneak you into Heaven before you qualify for immortality, the Jade Emperor will look the other way," Xueshan answered. "Chang-o, the goddess of the moon, is my godmother. She gave me a valley with a residence there. It's where I go when I'm bored in Heaven. Do you think you would like to live there? It's very beautiful. Only thing is, you have to like rabbits. She keeps them."

"Rabbits are the most adorable animal there is!" she said. "But— how can I breathe on the moon?"

"You're thinking of the earthly moon. It is just an airless rock, true. The real moon is different. It has phosphorescent forests, and rivers that shine like moonstones, and birds that sing night and day."

He reached out and took her hands in his. Even though he was the god of snow, his hands were warm and soft, but with little callouses, such as one might get from a horse's reins.

"What about when I get old and fat?" she protested, because just touching his hands made her knees go weak. She loved him already, of course. How could she not? His smile was like a warm blanket on a chilly night.

"You'll age more slowly there. The water and the fruits are very life-giving. And when you start aging, I'll let myself age too! I'll be an old god of snow, and people will respect me as Old Man Winter."

He made her laugh, despite herself. "But—I can't ever see my family again?"

"How could you explain where you live, or who your husband is, or why you'll never show them their grandkids' faces? It's against the rules, anyway. I know you'll miss them, but I will try to make it up to you. Please. Save me from emptiness, and loneliness, and boredom, and bad poetry!" Xueshan had dimples when he smiled, which was utterly unfair.

"Bad poetry?" she asked.

"You would not believe the quantity of poetry I've had to listen to over the centuries. It blurs together in my mind. If I ripped up all the poems and scattered them to earth like snowflakes, it would soak up the seas and suffocate the continent. Seriously, though."

His face changed. "I have never fallen in love before, and I will never fall in love again. Ren Fenlan, will you be my bride? I swear, we will exchange our vows before my lips touch yours, and I will cherish you throughout my existence."

"Yes," she breathed. "Yes, I will marry you. Just—first let me just—." She had a cell phone, one of the earliest models on the market, and she called home. As she expected, the answering machine picked up. "Mom, Dad—I didn't make it. I'm sorry. And now—I don't know how to tell you this, but—don't worry about me. Something incredible has happened, but it means I will never see you again. I love you—I love you both so much. I'm so sorry. Don't grieve for me, because I'm not dead. But good bye."

She left the phone with her duffle bag, then hefted the medallion on its chain. "May I leave this for them?" Ren Fenlan asked.

"Of course. I'll ask the god of fortune to send more money their way, too." Xueshan held out his hands. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." She reached out and took his hands in hers. In a cloud of snow, the pair disappeared into the sky.

Shaonu watched it all, a bitter liquid rising from her liver to her mouth.