6 Inner Conflicts
"Lily, " he breathed out.
Her eyes moved to him and she smiled a little.
That smile sent his heart racing.
He swallowed. His palms became sweaty so he rubbed them against the apron he wore.
She walked up to him by the counter.
His eyes lowered and he unconsciously adjusted his glasses.
"H-Hey, " he said looking up at her.
His eyes met her forest-green ones and his heart raced in his chest.
"Hey, " she said softly, averting her eyes.
"You ran off the last time, " she said looking into his hazel eyes.
He adjusted his glasses.
"Yeah, " he said quietly.
"I'm sorry-"
"I'm sorry about-" they both started at the same time.
Both their eyes widened and then Dan chuckled softly.
"You first, " Dan said.
Lily smiled.
"I'm sorry about the other day. I didn't know what I was thinking. I was a little forward. I'm sorry."
Dan's eyes widened and then lowered.
"It's fine. It's just. . .I had a really rough upbringing. I'm not used to being touched."
Lily lowered her eyes.
"I'm sorry, " she repeated quietly.
Dan smiled at her sombre expression and he thought she looked cute.
He removed his apron and went around the counter to meet her.
Now that the barrier was gone and he was standing right in front of her, he was afraid he might do something completely random—like kiss her.
He mentally shook his head.
"Over here, " Dan led her to a seat by their mini cafe.
He went to the chocolate dispenser and got her a small cup of cocoa.
"Here." He placed it on the table in front of her.
Lily's eyes widened. She was surprised at his kind gesture.
She wrapped both hands around the plastic cup.
"Thank you, " she said quietly.
Dan sat in front of her.
"Why did you come by the shop?" Dan asked.
Lily's eye widened and he noticed a light blush dust her cheeks.
She looked up into his eyes.
The attraction Dan felt towards her was undeniable.
"I-I, " she stuttered.
She closed her eyes and sighed, her hands tightening around the cup.
She looked up into his eyes.
"I like you, Dan, " she said quietly.
Dan's eyes widened and he almost choked on his own cocoa.
"Danny Dan, so that's where you are, " Philip interrupted, emerging out of nowhere.
Philip rushed to their side.
His eyes caught Lily.
"Oh Lily, I didn't know you were here, " Philip smiled gentlemanly at her.
Lily returned the smile and stood clutching her handbag to herself.
"I was just leaving, " she said quietly.
"Already?" Philip interrogated.
"Hmnhmn."
Lily chanced a shy look at Dan and she discovered he had a dazed look on his face.
"Bye, Dan, " she whispered shyly.
Philip turned to Dan and kicked him out of his dazed state.
Dan quickly stood.
"L-Lily, wait." He followed her to the entrance.
He stopped in front of her, his breath coming out in quick succession.
She turned to him but her eyes were looking anywhere but him.
"Lily, " he said softly.
She looked into his eyes then.
"Don't say anything, please, "
"I'll see you tomorrow, " she smiled at him and without another word, left.
"But wait! Tomorrow's Sunday!" he called after her.
He stepped out onto the sidewalk staring at her.
"How will I find you?" he asked out of breath.
"Come by our church tomorrow, my friend's the preacher, St Judes at Harmony Street. See you there!" She turned around and started walking further away.
Dan stood by the sidewalk staring at her as she walked off, even long after he could no longer see her, he remained rooted to the spot.
"Earth to Dan." Philip waved in front of his face and he snapped out of his daydream.
Dan's heart wouldn't stop racing, even as he went back inside the bookshop and sat behind the counter.
He removed his glasses and placed it on the counter.
"She likes me, " he whispered.
His eyes brightened and a wide smile lit up his face.
"She likes me!" He stood.
The girl he really liked, liked him back.
"You look pathetic, " Philip groaned.
"Haven't a girl ever confessed her feelings for you before?" Philip 'pffted'.
"I'm not you Philip, I don't bang everything in a skirt, " Dan retorted.
"Admit it, you wish you were me," Philip smirked at him triumphantly.
"No, I don't, " Dan said.
"Okay, when was the last time you got some?"
Dan's ears reddened.
"Have you even ever—"
"Shut up Philip! Will you just shut the fuck up for just one second?!"
That shut him up. . .only for two seconds.
"Don't even think about it Dan, she seems like the innocent type. Oh, she's even invited you to her church, " Philip retorted.
Dan 'pffted'.
"Are you going?" Philip asked.
"Of course I am, " Dan paused to look at him.
"But you're an—"
Dan cut him off.
"I know, but if it means I get to see her, I'm going, " Dan determinedly.
"You really like her, don't you?" Philip said.
Dan paused before wearing his glasses.
"I do, I really do. She is warm and her smile..., " Dan said.
"I just want someone who won't judge me, someone who'll like me for me.' Dan looked up at Philip.
Philip had a look Dan couldn't quite explain.
"She seems like the church type. That's what they do, you know right? They JUDGE."
"You think she'll like you once she finds out about you, about your past, about your obsessive-compulsive habits?"
"You think she'll stay?" Philip asked all in one breath, his worry for his best friend evident on his brows and voice.
"I-I'll just explain it to her, I'll explain everything, " Dan tried to say.
Philip held him by his shoulders and stared into his hazel eyes.
"Don't. She won't understand, " Philip said.
Dan shrugged his hands off. Philip's eyes widened.
"Stop it, Philip, please, " he finished in a whisper.
"What do you expect me to do?"
Philip watched him for a moment and then he sighed.
"It's your funeral." And with that, he left Dan alone going back to work.
Dan held the edge of the counter tightly, head bowed.
'Why was he acting this way?'
He sighed.
√√√
As Dan laid on his bed, he couldn't help feeling nervous, nervous about seeing her the next morning.
He sat up.
"Lily, " he whispered into the darkroom.
Tom meowed and jumped on the bed with him.
He chuckled and petted him.
"I know I haven't taken good care of you, Tom, I'm sorry, "
Tom meowed again and fell asleep shortly, curling up beside him.
"Sleep well, buddy, " he said softly.
He laid back down and all sorts of images popped up in his head—disturbing images.
He remembered the dream he'd had during the day, about the mysterious encounter he had with demon-like creatures.
It was unsettling, to say the least.
One thing had caught his attention and he'd been finding it hard to get it out of his head ever since.
'You are our Master, " the eyeless demon had said.
'My family...'
'They died in the plague,' he'd said.
'No, sire, you killed them, ' it'd replied.
He scoffed.
'As if, '
He knew how his family had died.
They'd died in the plague.
'You are the plague,' he heard the voice again.
It didn't make any sense. He groaned placing a hand on his forehead.
He didn't want to think about it anymore so he allowed his thoughts to wander back to Lily.
Her wide forest-green eyes. Her heart-stopping smiles. Her beautiful long auburn hair he craved to touch—just once.
She was beautiful. 'To him anyway.'
He remembered how her hugs had felt, how warm they'd been.
But he'd panicked.
He wasn't used to being touched. He didn't like physical contact he didn't instigate.
It made him uneasy.
The memories of his past were kinda shady and he couldn't remember his family much. He couldn't even remember specifically how they died.
All he knew was that they'd died in the plague that took hundreds of thousands of lives within a month.
He sighed and curled up on his side.
He let out a tired breath.
"Lily, " he whispered.
"What adventures do you hold for me?" he said as he drifted off to sleep.
√√√
"Oh Dan, you came!" Dan couldn't help the stupid smile that spread on his face as he saw her come out of their church building.
It was huge.
The service was over and people trudged out chatting away.
She looked stunning in her knee-length jade dress—it brought out her eyes.
She ran to hug him, but then she quickly released him and moved a step back, a blush tinting her cheeks.
"I-I'm sorry, I, " she tried to explain.
"It's fine if it's you, " he said before he could think over his words.
His eyes widened and he took a step back clearing his throat.
His face was as red as a tomato.
He noticed her face matched his.
She cleared her throat and she held his hand.
She led him towards a bench under one of the beautiful nut trees planted around the church's vicinity very close to a fountain.
He trudged behind her silently.
They sat down and he allowed himself to observe her.
She had a little make-up on—he'd noticed.
She looked beautiful.
The morning sun shined brightly and the soft wind blew against them gently, soothingly.
They were well covered from the sun's warmth by the shades the nut trees provided.
"I love your dress, " he complimented.
He didn't think it was possible for her face to get any redder, but she'd proved him wrong.
"I like your outfit too, " she said bashfully.
Dan looked down at what he wore—just a simple blue shirt and black pants, he'd tucked in.
Just to look a little presentable.
He was glad she liked it.
He smiled a little.
"In fact Dan, I like everything about you, "
Dan's eyes widened.
"I love your beautiful hazel eyes, " she looked into his eyes.
Dan knew his heart would give up soon if she kept looking at him that way—with wonder and admiration.
"Your cute, geeky character and I also love your glasses, "
Dan only stared at her in shock.
He looked down at his trembling hands.
'It's been a while since he had a smoke—the evening before.'
He was embarrassed for some reason.
He remembered what Philip had said.
'She seems like the church type. That's what they do, you know right? They JUDGE.'
He bit his lip.
'You think she'll like you once she finds out about you, about your past, about your obsessive-compulsive habits?'
Dan stood all of a sudden.
Lily's eyes widened. She stood too.
"What's wrong?" she said softly.
"It was a mistake coming here, " he said quietly.
Lily's eyes widened.
His back was to her. Her eyes went to his hands—she noticed they were trembling.
She looked back at him.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Dan clenched his trembling hands.
He sucked in a breath and then he released it.
He turned to her. He saw the uncertainty in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, you didn't do anything wrong, " he brushed his hand through his chestnut hair.
"I'm the problem, " he said.
Lily's eyes widened a little.
She took a step closer to him.
She shook her head and held his hand in hers.
They were calloused and warm—very warm.
She needed a little bit of warmth in her life.
Lily placed his hand on her cheek and stared into his beautiful hazel eyes.
She saw something flicker briefly in them.
She recognized what it was—fear.
"You're not the problem." She removed her hand from his but his hand remained on her cheek.
Unconsciously, he moved closer to her.
He didn't know when his head started leaning down towards hers.
Her lips were just a breath away from his when he saw flashes of the eyeless demon in his dream.
'She is the sacrifice you have chosen.'
'You have to eat her to reach your full potential.'
Blinding pain exploded in his head and he groaned out holding his head.
'If you don't Master, you'll remain bound in your terrestrial form...'
He fell to his knees. His hands dug into the grass.
"Dan!" Lily cried.
He could hear the concern clear in her voice.
She rushed to his side.
"Don't touch me, please, " he whispered.
Lily's eyes widened and then they became filled with so much worry.
He could feel his asthma coming.
'For fuck's sake.'
He started wheezing and gasping for air.
He laid on his back and tried catching his breath.
'Why hadn't he brought his inhaler?'
"It hurts, " he managed to get out.
Lily's eyes were rimmed with tears.
"I'll go get help, " she said reassuringly, eyes sad and scared.
She ran towards the church building.
The last thing Dan heard was the sound of Lily calling for help.
...
