11 Who am I?

A few weeks later, Matt had brushed her sleeve up a bit too far and saw bruising on her arm. He immediately thought she was doing it to herself for attention. "Are you seriously still hurting yourself so I will pay attention to you? I thought I told you to stop that! People will think I'm being a bad person to you! Do I need to end this relationship?!" Dawn jerked her sleeve back down before he could see anything else. "No! I didn't do it. It's from a fight with dad. He was really mad and I wasn't careful. I'm sorry. It's my fault." He scoffed, "I've met your dad Dawn.. I know he's not that kind of person. You expect me to believe that he did that to you even though you're clearly desperate for me to feel sorry for you? Don't worry, I already feel sorry for you, you don't have to make up lies about your dad okay? What am I going to do with you anyway?" He stood up to walk away, "This is your final warning.. Don't let me find another mark on you or it's over." From that moment onward, Dawn was even more paranoid. She was afraid that Matt wouldn't believe her and would leave at any moment. She tried to avoid her dad at all costs but it was hard when everything she did seemed to make him angry. She was determined to be the kind of girl that Matt would like so she put all of her goth clothes in her drawer and started wearing jeans and flashy shirts like the other girls at their school. She detested pop music but since that's what Matt listened to, she started listening to it when he was around. She reserved her metal for when she was alone. She tried to be conscious of every word she said so that she would sound like a normal girl. She didn't want anyone suspicious of the thoughts that were really going on in her head. At school she pretended to be the perfect girlfriend and when she came home she kept as quite and secluded as possible. Every evening she would take her walk in the woods behind her home and she would stop under the big tree to listen to Korn and cut herself. It was the only time she felt like she was herself. Months went by in the blink of an eye. On the outside everything seemed perfect, but inside, Dawn was a shell of anguish. She couldn't help but wonder who she really was any more. She hated being the shell of a girl that she was now, but she certainly couldn't stand being the crazy mess that she was before. All she knew was that she hated herself even more than she ever thought possible. She felt like a fake. Unable to distinguish who she really was anymore. The only thing that kept her going was Matt. He complimented her these days, and liked to talk about music with her. He talked about his hopes and dreams with her, and they discussed what they wanted to do after high school. She was hopeful that she could overcome her hate for her new self in time and truly be happy with Matt. After all, when she was with him, she didn't think about things like how fake she was being. She only wanted to maintain her sane image and his smile was worth any grievance she could have.