JustLikeWriting777
This has got to be one of the best horrors on here. I am a few chapters in, and every chapter is giving me goosebumps! The techniques the author uses are really professional: its dramatic, tense, and altogether thoroughly chilling! A great horror, fantastic plot, absolutely will keep reading, what an inspiration!
What I like the most about this story is how the characters are so real. They have human struggles and human solutions (or reactions). The mc has a conscience but wants to live (understandable), and he copes with what he got the way he can. The second mc (the fl???) also is really believable and has her priorities and life even before the start of the story (meaning, she wasn't born just as a decoration to the story, she's a whole person, not flat). Grammar is okay, I guess (I'm not the right person to judge that). Vocabulary is broad enough to make you enjoy reading but not too much as to make you stop and check on google what does a word mean, it's the right balance. Overall, a good start. If you start this, you'll find yourself reading on the edge of the chair (or couch, or bed), waiting for the next revelation or big event, your heart pounding as the characters' at the most thrilling moments :D
I was wondering why the author and the character names were all so familiar when I realized that I reviewed your short story last time XD. Anyway, I'm glad that you decided to expand on it so we can see more about the characters and the story that you want to tell. Writing quality is great; I didn't notice many errors at all. The plot is moving along nicely, and I like how relatable the protagonist's thoughts are. Keep writing author! You're doing great!
One word : WOW! I haven't read all the chapters, but the ones I've read so far were so intriguing. I loved how I could actually feel what the characters were feeling as they faced the many challenges thrusted upon them. I found myself rooting for them. Honestly, it's amazing how great of an author you are. Keep up the great work cause this is a masterpiece!
The author is able to deliver to their readers a clear, definable image in very few words. The narrator is able to easily draw interests to the happenings of the town, and their dynamic with other characters adds much to the story. However, I feel juxtaposed while reading it. So, a few chapters into the story, a thought crosses my mind. "This could have ended on chapter one". It felt self-contained, in a way. Suspenseful and curious. That's just my opinion though and obviously doesn't reflect the general audience.
The story really draws you in. Both Joey and Charlie feel so real, so much feeling behind their thoughts. Didn't come across any noticeable grammar issues. Each chapter is well constructed and the story flows well. It really connects the reader with the characters and gets the reader invested in their lives. Well done.
You can already see from the first few sentences, that is this an amazingly high quality and well-written novel. I honestly have no complaints, wish I did so that I could have more to write about but no, this is just too good for words to even describe. The narrative is perfect, so much so that I'm taking notes on how you manage to narrate while having such a clear description of this world with a build-up of suspense and intrigue. Honestly one of the best horror works I've read, especially on this site.