18 Chapter 16

SLOW DOWN YOUR WHEELS , cause its "Slieve Croob ,"

A road sign board pointing out, it reads some Slieve-Croob , what is this place ? How come I m standing under this bus stop of road miles straight away in this month of October , where my Growing Mom is happily chiding to his new husband, I m a loner !

Accept it , I m a stubborn ! Also accept it, I have been an ass which puts itself in every now and then dangers ! I accept this also ? But really he had left me to this bus stop , I m getting damned loner as day are passing and I m regretting every seconds of my life, he left me ....did he down there even had a heart? No the answer is no!!

So this is Slieve Croob, the savagely mountainous area and no one present here.....a sudden burst of actual epiphanies float in this faded Amber light ...and the light was again coming from the near by street light,

My half part is frustrated, I m a failed person ....and no one is around here to throw me a shoulders of comfort, I m worthless who again poured her silly heart to a man, who treat her like a shit, you know! Don't ever fall in love, my career had been flopped and here I m standing with this damn bag,

in which I had practically the clothes which had been donated to me from a man who kidnapped me, I m not going all merry go round again, there is a bench around my side, and I want to sit and watch my whole situation dumped by the the perpetrator like boyfriend of mine, and I can't even cry ...

I m a hapless girl with hassled fortune, people had been glorious and servanting me to serve them, my own mother ! The relation of a woman who turns herself into a beautiful designation is overthrown by my mom,

I was some unwanted garbage to her and she just invited me to her wedding because, She knew it very well that She won't be getting any penny from my Dad's heritage unless and until I m keeping myself beside her, I m laughing all I can do is laugh, I had some money....which was again a beggary from K ! and even I m smiling like ,i m his shat , yes....

.I had no self respect and I had my issues .....and I m not the girl who transected from Apathy to Sympathy, they says that it ends , where your chase stop.....to me I think I don't have any reason to chase, I m alone and was always.....I don't want to shriek but Seeing myself here at 2 a:m , standing alone by the shelter of some recluse bus stop , in which god knows Either a single bus stops or not ? My fetish had been burned to only ash.....

I m not learning to make my self better, and I swear I m not going for K .....he and I had different path that will never cross each other....

Never that I m seeing a hope which should be coming from his side, the kiss! The rain kiss and the all nonsense make out are the trashes ....

Bad boy and good boy act is at a foul ....I had been shamed of myself and I m thinking to kill myself ....I m probably thinking that Just one cut and I m free from my restless life ....the life would not whiplash me.....you know why I m not crying because my tears had been soaked,I m a characterless slut, K was right ....I m too much of nagging, I shows tantrums....my life is a mistake my mom is right about me ....I was just the result of her one night stand, and I can still am audible to the teasing of my classmates,

"The whore's daughter will always be a whore !!"

And look where I am , I m running through this paved road, for my breathe , I m running so that I could find a way to kill myself, and then I would be cremated ! Haha!

A deep somber sleep , and I would be submerged to something humus ....I had ran many miles away from my habitat ...now ! No one would be raping me, I won't come along fucked up, I won't be getting wasted after the drinks and alcohol, every relationship will be judged good....

I m never gonna be work out, Five people and their rape , yes ! Now when I think about the teasing of my class mates , I feel like yes ! They weren't teasing me , they were basically telling me the truth .....a slut's daughter is a slut,

I can feel that saying echoing in my mind, when Nolan had slapped my cheeks for continuous time and had sliced my tongue half a inch, and I was unable to eat, he had kicked me on my ass ! He had tore my clothes and had pushed me inside a room where three old perverted men were ready like a wolf to dish my respect and I was fucked three times, four times and then 11 the times, I had disdained my energy ...

I don't want to remember ...no ! But I m not the girl which had the nightmares, who would woke up between the nights and would cry no ! Please don't do these, I m cured from that allergy, I had been to waitress also , who had no self respect just because of Nolan !! My mom was a whore and see , I m a whore too, the Gene got transferred, I can still remember the days,

Flashback~~

"Momma , where are you going ...this cold cold night !!" The 6 years old innocent girl asked to her goddess, who was her mother, she had faith in her ...

"You ! Dumbfounded girl, what are you doing this night .....stay away from me ...you would be ruining my expensive makeup ...oh gawddd!! Its 10 p.m already and The bidder would be calling me ....hwy listen you little rag ...go and sleep there in bed silently , either I would be whacking you ...understand ! Bloody worm ...!"

And the lady pushed the little girl aside, and the girl halted down with so swiftly that her head was collided with a wall , and the blood was running off from her head, she picked her toy dog which she had picked from the city garbage, and dusted the invisible dust from the dog,

" Hey Bobo ! Don't tell anybody that mom pushed me , Don't even tell Uncle Tobias you know this is not the blood ! Haha ....this is just a liqwidd... Oh and I m not feeling giddy ....I m very strong girl ....my mom would be in hurry , that's why she is like this ....I love my mom!!" The little innocent girl told her favorite toy dog, whose name was "Bobo", telling her that she was okay, but how could be a little ,

child could be okay when the blood was flowing out of her forehead, the lady was very impulsive to her small child, and the toy looked sad, as if he could display an emotion, but he was not a real dog,

he was made up of the dirty brown cloths and inside him was filled a lots of cotton, I wondered looking at that petite girl, that if any normal child of her age would be in her place , they would be crying like a hell ! And would be taking all house over their heads, but she smiled displaying that her one of the frontal incisor tooth was missing, and the blood was pouring ....but then Mrs. Evans helped the little to take her hospital and she there also lied about her mom, Mrs. Evans was filled with disgust when she came to know about her mother's act.

Every night, with different men, getting home in drunken state, sometimes her lipsticks was smudged and her clothes in half tore into sides hanging over her body, displaying her chest and legs, sometimes she had purple bruises over her cheeks or her eyes had a black sore, if she came home at 5 a:m ,

she would just haunched in the bathroom feeling nauseant or either throwing up , little girl was still afraid of her mom ! Because she would beat her with stick or would burning her hands with her smoking pipes, one day Her mom was at home ! And the days had been passed, she looks pale and broken... Little girl thought what might be the reason behind her gloominess...

"Hey ! Vale ...come to me," she said while resting herself over the arm chair, in her one hand there was the cigarette half burned, the little girl was trembling out of fear....and she was now developed with such terror such violence, that she took baby steps to reach up to her mom,

"Why are you walking so slow, you dimwit! Bloody mistake of my Life, I should had taken pills,...come here immediately ...I don't have much time!" She threatened the child and the child gulping and clutching her toy Bobo, strides faster to near her.

"Ye...yes....yes...Momma!" The little girl uttered but she was again squirmed and the fear was evident .

"Look ! I m going to marry a man name , Darius because ...because...umm..I got pregnant again...So from now onwards you are going to live with my brother Tobias .....and as far as he is not planning to wed for next 10 Years, he could tame you .....so better pack your bag ..."

"But ! Momma....mom...I want to live with you ...m" the little girl whined , dare to whined for first time,

"Are you out of your mind....bloody scum ....you are same like your good for nothing father, who impregnated me and left me....with no choice but tied to him , to marry him...okay if you don't want to live with Tobias ....you could eat any rat poison or may ran into a railway track.....I m regretting the day ,

I was fucked by your douche of father ....that man had done nothing but just popped you from my stomach ....now get pack your all the things....you are going to feed to him there..." The lady's torturing was very big deal, she was the evil woman, a merciless lady who was only a gold digger, chimes riches for their money, was she really was a mother ?

End of flash back

Oh I don't want to remember her, I m standing in front of a bridge this bridge had the black water flowing down the rail, the water is very very slumbering and is dark ! It is a vintage welcome of the impure soul like me, just one dive and I will be liberal ....

I m closing my eyes and my lungs left a long breath....I m remembering My mom's torture , now she can freely use my father's property and I will be no one to hurdle her, Juana ...now no water would be waste due to myself at shower for one hour,

she could be living more likely, Casper would not invest his energy to flirt with me, And Mr. Douglas Murphy, him! Oh my god? He will be relieved that Miss. Valentina is now no one to be late , and his lectures must go on! But Juana would be still his pain in ass.....

I can't take her responsibilities, and K ! The strange name of an who had the beautiful named Ryan, my K would be in much more relief ....much and much .....no love confession! No silly questions..... And I m falling ....falling and my death is there to engulf me , he would not answer and never will be ! He would be happy if even I would be in my graves....his tears would not be spare ....

Why I loved him! Does my heart not have his own mind....why I had to practically be apologizing and begging people their mercy.....why I m deprived of some love and attention, I think god had some real home calling ?

At least I m dying happily ...No pain , no torture ....but why my heart is still beating , why it feels like I m not dead when I know I should be, Why I feel that two hands are surrounding me ...and I slowly open my eyes ! I m all soaked , I m not wet ....and I think know who the person is ?

So he couldn't stand there being alone in his cottage and no one annoying him to extent , that's why he came all way long, but how did he find me , my eyes are still not opened , and I know I will tease him, He should know what it feels when you are not out there with the person you want to be with ?? So let him have the taste of his own medicine , I will not open my eyes .....but then I hear him ,

"Why are you going to drown yourself in river lagan ....dearie ??"

And why this voice feels strange and why I can't decipher it, Did K had sore throat? Oh ! He might be sick and I immediately opened my eyes in order to just witness the pair of those two...... green eyes ??

"Who are you ?" I shouted in fear , to which I was only slipped from his grip and unfortunately fell into the water from such long height, now I don't want to die but look the irony of my life, I m going to lose my dear life, but what I saw that,  the man also jumped in the river,

The river is feeling in my nostrils, and its very cold and dark, my eyes are red with constant ripples of water striking my eyes and honestly, I don't know how to swim, I think I m getting in the bottom and bottom, all things are getting dim, it is like my limbs had been broken and my heart is throbbing, I don't want to die in  that younger age, now I know why they say, ' Suicide is not an easy options, a person feels an extreme pain, and it itself shows the real hell in this living world itself, before I could submerged more inwards into deep water , a hand pulled me out of the water ...may it's not my end yet,

And I fell into two strong pairs of hands, but my head is spinning, I m shivering out of cold and my legs had been paralysed, and my hardly squeaking eyes are less visible to translucent form to my saviour's face ...but then I collapsed in his broad chest, uttering some words which I m for sure be forgetting by tomorrow's dawn....

and the last words, were

"Who are you my mystery man...."