17 Chapter 15

I don't know , why I feel like there's an empty hurricane with no sound swirling around my mind, there's all fog, and I m standing in mid of the fog, I can't take breath , hell I don't know to breath, that's the catch, people are tormenting me around, abuse?

What's about abusive , when practically a person beats you or assault your dignity, no ! Abuse came around when someone ignores you very much, there is no love, there can't be love between so much of hatredness,

I can practically feel it, and I m kinda feeling this emotions inside me, this thing is not new, was never new and my broken stage doesn't allow me to watch over the scene, this place is all rainy and dirty, dirt which is inhaling my every inch of skin,

I m internally scolding myself that I m even bothering to dab myself inside this leech puddle, people are decreasing and they are suspicious about my behaviour, I m sick of my unknown brutal state of flaccidity about life,

you want to never ever like my story, because my story is not that much ecstatic, there's a grave and I m ready to bury myself, in any moment , in the pit of my downfall, one best thing that had been happening to myself is that person are rustic and deficit in their behavioural tactics, like you could see , god! Always pair the wrong hangman to be my murderer and that man is much beyond any kind of respect ,

"You can't fall in love with me.!" K hissed and pushed me back, I lurched to background, and my mouth opened in a stunned manner, he jerked me off,

"And why is that so ?" I regaining my gravity , asked him again.

"Because it's my order to you!"

"I m not your slave!"

"And I m not a damn romeo , that you should be dreaming , this love is a poisonous love .....Valentina ! I m warning you ."

"And I m gonna always loving you, "

" you will die , you will be doomed!"

"I don't want to live either ....so better I should die."

"Don't trap me!

" then don't asked me to leave !"

"You are going to repent, because I can't love you back, no matter how much hard you try! We are never meant to be a one body two soul!"

"I don't need you, for loving you, my love is enough for me even without involving yourself, to feel your quarter half absence in my agonized life ....got it! I m never going to be depend over you ...never !" I yelled on the top of my lungs,

"You said, that you are an independent woman, but I guess you are no longer capable of that.... Valentina".

" A woman was always and is always independent no matter how much she had been broken physically, a raped woman is also the most strongest woman in the world and I m still Strong , and yes! If you are going to leave me ....don't pity your help on me, I will be walking by my own....just drop me to some nearby bus stoppage , and I will not allow my pride to fly under your ash!"

"Better than! If you are so imposed by your crap like emotions, than don't blame me ever on future that I tried to tuck you , And yeah ! Don't show me your face again ...there's no tomorrow after this today, mug it, revise it or review it....do whatever stuff you gonna put in that skull of yours but again , never show your face to me....."

Before 20 minutes ago, when we were sitting like a common two people over rooftop, and there was pompous show over there in night, it was what a beautiful meteor shower looks like, then K being expert in astronomy told me that the grain size comet debris when falls over the earth's atmosphere they are burned due to such high temperature and then they produce a streak of light while they fall into the earth.

And it was way beautiful than those of expensive crackers and fireworks. And I don't know how I summoned up much vital courage and tried to kiss him to which he set on fire and pushed me, I was shocked as the tray and tea cups rolled downwards due to such sudden force and they only dumped to be crash into pieces, and I was beyond my shock,

"Enough is enough Valentina....." He was heaving with lot of anger and his reddened face, his long straight nose had been scrunched into disgust.

"Wh...what did I do ?" I said to him in almost stuttering manner, the breeze seemed to be stopped and the whole forest watched us in very doleful manner. Now we are again arguing , he is always pushing me ,

"Don't try to cross your limit, how dare you to even try to kiss me, do you have any idea what you look right now , you look like a slut , a harlot which is so desperate to be peeled off, I know you have been raised to be a decent women because even not knowing your pedigree, I couldn't muster up my courage to blame them, but you..." He stopped between his mid of the sentence and hold on to me.

"And ....I ..I what, you seriously called me a slut or a whore, it is not a new thing for me, that you called me a whore.....because I had been called these things by many people ...." And I tried to hold my tears which were on the edge to be brimmed.

"Trust me, I don't indented to call you these things, but don't emotion me at all, I don't want to meet you in my bridge of life, this wide and wild universe is shocking me to gulp such amount of love .....which you are offering me..... Just leave me..or may be I should return you to highway arch. It's a 20 minutes drive .....I m hopping downwards and you could use the ladder to descend, I can't help you because I had to run for an emergent speed post, So I m leaving ..." He said and again he didn't bothered to cast one last look at my pathetic conditions,

I brought back my legs and glued them to my chest, again it was the same place , 20 minutes ago the way it is now 20 minutes after, my eyes had been red, because I m on the verge of falling these watery emotions which should be flooded along the way which had a route from my thick eyelashes to my nose , and I lowered down my blonde head, my sobbing started , I m crying, I laughed that I m crying ...finally I had emancipated from this silly ...this silly attitude of accepting any shit which shows some epicure sensations as love, Love ! It is a complete incorporeal bullshit , even though it feels a tangible surface but , pardon me it is not.

Someone is still madly in love with anyone and they are still trying to not be a part of this tragedy , but who would make them understand that they had already gotten themselves to this journey,

they could be proved a solicit lover of that anyone which is lacking the inspiration which could inspire the one sided lover to meet them in the convulsing tower of Italy which is destined to be a place of accepting and asking love exchanges ,

but that someone always was an inconvenience to the one sided lover to accept them at the tower of Italy , love unfortunately, existed in very extraordinary form, the form that which the someone is not aware of , this is a barbaric world and the one sided lover meant to be the Hermes of the natural love which would be ready for that someone to bless with.

I thought and sweeping those grateful tears which now exited from my heart , I feel like I can't be a beggar now, and I don't remember how I climbed off from the ladder but , It had just slained my nonsense fear from height, but I guess this had only been possible because I had attained the heights of something great altitude which was way larger than I being an acrophobic ,

I was smiling, I feel like an adored girl, so I combed my hair and it was still 1 a:m, packed my some new clothes, which he had brought for me from some convention stores, but I was too embarrassed when he asked me about the cup size of my breast and my panty size,

he was also refraining himself to be shy, as he only fixed his gaze to the wall painting which was hanging to my opposite wall , when came to me for asking about my garments, it had been one week and now I will be returning,

I don't know whether I should considered it as a kidnapping but , yes it was not like that which I felt for Nolan, he had traded me for three times with 3 men, and I had ran away , I threatened him that I would kill myself when he was trading me to the fourth person, I half sliced that man's throat and had recorded the voice of second man ,

while he was thrusting inside me, about the black money which Nolan is hiding in his Norway's apartment , so I threatened Nolan to delete my MMS and set me free, we both deal about each other's liberty and now that was how I set myself free from his devil clutch, we also deal to be civilian with each other ,

when we would face an encounter, because I can't tell anyone that he had sold me like a stripper, I don't want to remember those thing, and I don't know if K ! Is also a worthy man to keep my dignity, but again he never try to molest me or use me for wrong deeds,

he is a savior because whatever the town Rougesage is suffering from, the three deep murders in a row by some Gorgon, whom I had met once, and he had the inconclusive aura to attract me not in a romantic way, but in exploring way, firstly I thought that , it was K! As his voice matched with him, but ....

The voice of his Ducati snapped me out of my thought process, and I ran to the door, whenever he went , he would be locking me and I would be imprisoned in this farm house, no escape way .....but now I was freed ,

"Is there anything you got left there ?" He asked while he was in a blue denim coat, and a polo pant , sleeves folded upward and inside he had thrown a black T-shirt, I was staring him too much,

"Take a picture! It would last long, bitch please, you should rather watch out your stuff, or I will be just leaving you without your stuff ! " he said with emotionless face, and played with the keys , I looked at him with all the pouring heart, did it ache? Not ache, it had stopped its regular beats,

"No! I had took my things, we should be better get going , it's almost 1:30 a:m, and I don't want to be late , " I told him with a fake confidence, and as he shook his head, and when I stepped out of the farm house with his black hoodie on my body, he had lend me this one, the farm house had many memories, and outside in this starry night, those Hyacinths were still in plucked , he had bought a jeep with him, As Ducati was nowhere to be found, I went to the back side of the jeep but he growled and told me some difficult words,

"I m not anyone's personal driver, so they should be seating in passenger seat next to me." And with the key , the Jeep lurched forward,

I hopped out away from the Jeep, and made my way to the passenger,

The ride was much silent, I thought about the condition, if I m really in love with him, then I should make him see, that I can live without taking his help, and I think , he would not mind my detachment,

We were not the couple, so there's nothing like breakup happened, every time it's not about getting hurt, I could remember that after getting hurt and bitterness, I had locked my emotions and some little duped memories in the any corner of the box, it had been now added to my worst enemies list, and I vowed again , not to fall in this game of destiny, there was no light to be shone their way to my buried feelings, but again, I came back from my small period of self - preservation act, but I guess, now ! It was a feeling that goes whim of the emotions,

And suddenly the jeep's tyre screeched, and I was brought back to my original spirit, nonsense!

"Now , Here we are parting, you were an amazing woman and I guess, our journey was up to this only ! Good bye and good luck to ...umm...your new journey ..." And he left me there at 2 a:m, in a bus stoppage, not looking at me , not giving me a moment to tell him something,

which I wanted to tell him, but I bet if would be ever listening, I wanted to tell him, that I was starting to love him like a normal girl ....who loves a boy like an ordinary people, I wanted to tell him, that He was the first man who gave me so much respect,

I wanted to tell him that I wanted him to help me in my life , to be my stone turner, but I supposed that my love you died in the drowning sea of but , ifs and full stop, and here I would always be advocating his strength, his liveliness and his support as my spirit to freedom ,

but I had to lock all these emotions and should throw its key to somewhere unknown where no one could reach, I won't be crying because tears would let him and his special teachings being fade away in due course, and i can't let that to be happened, but should be happy that at least I was lucky enough to discover my fears and outcome them, just because he was the light of my day, like an old wine , his permanence was taste to my foetus of love, but again it goes all to being a love infanticide...

Hell! I will be missing him a lot...and I know it's true