Chapter I - Pressure

"Achille please marry Claire, now!"

Faintly, I heard those words behind the booth, where the makeup artist was fixing my makeup. This chest suddenly shook violently, hearing the words of a woman who would become my mother-in-law soon.

Why did she suddenly ask Achille to replace Basten? Where was Basten?

These legs limp drooping as if boneless. I could no longer support my weight so I decided to sit back down immediately. My heart was pumping uncontrollably, it felt tight.

I will marry a man who doesn't love me?

How can I live it?

This question mark flashed through my mind as if dancing uncontrollably.

"What! Why me, Madam? Why not just cancel it?" Achille's rebuttal voice behind the booth.

"Keep your voice down! It's not that easy to cancel it. For the sake of the family, replace your brother to marry Claire!"

"Are you sure? But ... Madam."

"Nothing, excuse. Get ready and change your clothes! Look at those ripped pants of yours, this is a wedding!"

"Madam, are you sure? I'm going to marry that girl–schoolgirl! In fact, she was still very young. Even we don't know each other!"

"Shut your mouth, Achille! Madam said hurry up and change your clothes now!"

"Huff."

The door slams violently!

All the guests have arrived. I was still standing, looking down and with a restless heart. Still with pumping hearts, we, to be precise I was waiting for the arrival of a man who would accompany me to the priest and say the sacred vows.

The young man we have been waiting for hasn't shown up yet. At first glance, the faces of the two prospective in-laws were looked restless when I turned my face towards them.

Then, I turned my sight to my parents again. Their faces looked worried too. Could it be, that they already knew that the man who would come here was a different man? Or they didn't know, then how they would react.

All the guests seemed to be asking each other. The room was noisy because it was almost noon and the groom had not shown himself.

The Priest also whispered to my father and my father-in-law several times. They looked restless.

I kept my head down, holding back the rumbling in my chest. I couldn't imagine if something untoward happened. I was trying to strengthen this heart.

All of sudden, several pairs of eyes turned to a man who had come after a long time of waiting. I lifted my face to see him. I could feel his sharp gaze on me as he was about to come next to me. I turned my sight down avoiding his sight. I was uncomfortable.

"Can we get started?" asked the priest to the man beside me.

"Mmm ... yes, sir."

"Fine. Then let's get started."

The procession of the marriage went quite smoothly even though Achille mispronounced my name several times. Some of the guests have started to move from their seats. Some were still telling stories in the living room because they have just arrived.

The talks from neighbors hadn't stopped talking about the figure of the groom. Especially seeing the faces of my parents, who didn't know anything about the future man beside me. Yes, it was very embarrassed. Even so, they still smiled and didn't discuss it with me anymore or they needed time for me to calm down.

My bad luck. I didn't know how this happened. I must be ready to be tolerant of the destiny that God has outlined for me.

I took a deep breath with a sad face.

***

It was getting late. The twilight was getting dimmer. I was still sitting in the room.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and occasionally glanced at every corner of the room. Sometimes, I curse myself. Poor girl! Why should I accept this fate, not another girl?

I remember a passing day when I was a student majoring in communications at a state university.

We were always involved in training seminar committees and other committees on campus. Together with my contemporaries until I met a cowardly man named Basten. Until this moment, I had not received an answer from him as, to why he was not attending our wedding.

I took a deep breath with a sad face.

I reached for a box in the desk drawer. A box containing a photo of turquoise green glass. This thing used to be a gift from Basten that he gave me. The man who somehow disappeared, there was no news when our marriage ceremony was about to take place. His number was not active when contacted, as was the e-mail and his social media.

The sweet promises he made for our wedding through this beautiful object. But, it's all just a promise.

The beautiful thing–the photo had moved from my hand to the corner of the room. Some shards of glass have been scattered. I'm really annoyed. Unknowingly, clear grains flowed from my eyes. Even a very sacred event in his eyes was not so important. He didn't even consider my feelings.

What a bastard man with no conscience!

The bedroom door creaked. Someone was opening the door. In a hurry, I wiped the water that was still flowing from my eyes with a powder sponge so it wouldn't be noticed by him

"All the family is waiting in the dining room. You can leave first. I'll catch up after cleaning up." The deep voice told me then left again.

"Well, I'll come." I haven't dared to look at him since the marriage ceremony until now.

Good grief! I didn't realize how long I had been in the room. I forget that it was already night. I opened the door slightly to look into the dining room. All the big families were already sitting there enjoying dinner together.

I fixed the makeup on my face that had faded from crying before leaving.

Achille's parents haven't gone their home yet, while the other of their family had already left.

"Good night!" I said as I joined them.

"Good night too. Uh, are you coming alone? Where's Achille?" asked Madam Anne Manon, my mother-in-law.

"He said, he would be here soon, Madam. He told me, he will take a bath."

"Oh ... You're not taking a bath too? Why are you showering in such a hurry? You should enjoy bathing with him." He said and spread her lips symmetrically.

I didn't know what that means. Madam was very enthusiastic to say it. I just smile.

"Then let's eat! The food will get cold if we leave it for too long," Mama said as she invited them first.

I took a minute to go to my room to get something. I slowed my steps when I heard Madam Anne's saying.

"Actually, I'm very grateful that Achille married Claire. Apparently, God granted my wish."

"What do you mean?"

"Claire, is a good and obedient girl, while Achille is very naughty and troublesome. He is very unruly from childhood to adulthood. I think they will be a perfect match. Hopefully with Claire, he can be even better. And of course more responsibility to be a good husband."

"Perhaps this is the match that has been arranged for them."

"Yes, that's right. We never know what God has outlined. But where is Basten actually?" my Dad asked.

I stopped my steps when I heard Daddy's question. Yes, this question was also on my mind. Where exactly was that cowardly man, who has destroyed my hopes and also my pride.

It seems that my Daddy still doesn't understand why it was suddenly Achille who married me, even though they had previously discussed it before the marriage.

"You're still here? Why don't you join?" Suddenly the voice startled me.

"I ... I-- 'm going to my room to get something that I kept under the table."

Whoa, how come he's here. Even though, I still want to hear an answer from Madam Anne.

The man was still unmoved. His eyes continued to stare at me.

When did he leave? I can't stand for long in front of him. The way he looked and asked, was very sharp. As if I was being interrogated.

"Oh, I see!"

What is he waiting for, why hasn't he left yet?

"Excuse me ... excuse me, I want to pass." I walked past him without looking back.

I couldn't imagine, am I going to live my days like this all the time with him? His attitude was very unfriendly.

Especially when I heard what he said this morning to his mother.

"If you need help, say so." He still followed me into the room.

"No, thank you. This is all. Nothing else." He was still standing, whether he was watching me or not. I didn't know any more after just passing him by.

With a little run, I descended the stairs. Then, I joined in and sat right at the edge of the table.

My eyes widen, also my forehead wrinkled. He was already sitting with my parents and also my in-laws. When did he walk down? Even though I was the first to go down.