1.

Now, it was my time to go. It had been a month since Damon broke my heart. I'd been on my own for a month, trying to get my condition and my weight better. I emptied myself out of the bedroom because I was now looking for my nest. My place wasn't with Damon; it was with Adam and Charles.

I was planning at some point, when the time is right, to take Adam and Charles with me to one of my islands, just three of us, no one else, and then spend our time there, be in love, be together, but not yet.

I was hoping Damon would let me be with just Adam and Charles if he ever got his act together. Because I had now given up, let go, and moved on. I had recovered as well as I could, at least physically. I had collected myself into a shell, remembered all the memories, and held these white stones in my hands, which always seemed to help.

I had mourned my loss, and it was time to move on; I had walked outside at night, collected all the strawberries and blueberries too, brought them into my room, and ate them. I ate what I wanted and what Adam or Charles brought to me, but now I wasn't going by Damon's guide.

It was as if I had remembered all my feelings on the stones. The painful ball that had crushed my soul was gone. I knew I had a switch on, but years of experience of losing must have taught me to move on. My greatest loss, Jake, had crushed me almost as bad as this, but I was a flea then, and I still was. I had not given myself a permit to mourn Jake, not really, no, never, and it felt like an ache in my soul, that burning, heart-wrenching pain and someday I would be strong enough to go through all those feelings. But I can't be weak or emotional. I have to be in the lead, to be an example. 

Just as Damon was searching for himself, so was I. I had to be The Flea, but I was also Mimi, and I had to keep my mind clear and my act together because life had its tendencies to throw curveballs at me, like European gigs or something else, so I really have no more time to reflect and maybe even mourn.

I had so many secrets, things I hadn't told anyone before and wouldn't. I'm not good at sharing. I began to understand that. I spied on people in love a couple of times, and I listened. Damon was talking, reminiscing, sharing everything—his experiences, his feelings—and I knew that wasn't my thing. I don't share. 

Let the others be the loving couple of this pack now. It's out of my hands. I also don't have to feel guilty about whether I spend enough time with my husbands. Mariella had wanted to come and live in the pack house, and suddenly, this house, with no wing, felt all too cramped.

I had changed. Physically so, I was no longer a werewolf but now my feline side had come out and I took feline shapes. and fast too. all of these new instincts drove me to be myself, to be strong and I realize that I am an alpha female, but will probably never be in alpha in this pack.

As one of my shapes which felt more natural was a jaguar, black one, she and I wanted to be on her own. Just like I. Like in the wild, the female jaguar is on her own. She is not like lions who are in packs. She takes care of herself and only in mating season; she tolerates males near her. At least alpha males.

Adam and Charles had been there for me and Charles had the instinct to feel my mood, when was distressed or lonely, he was there; he had been there, but not since Mariella came into the picture. Everything had been changed and for me, the chaos, and change were difficult. It is funny because I am very unpredictable, and improvise a lot, but change something in my life, well I have trouble of getting used to that. 

All the men loved Mariella, her innocence. I knew that Adam and Charles had already fucked her now that they were all energy beings. I wasn't and never would be. I would always be the one different, the unique one.

I hadn't realized how that separated me from the pack before. Now I felt it. They were now energy beings, and their driving force was lust. But I wasn't. Charles came to explain it to me fervently, and I reminded him I was not the same.

Charles looked at me for a long time and sighed, and then he said, "Mimi, honey. Adam and I need to study this energy thing now, and Mariella must teach. We are having sex with her, not going to lie, it's great. This complete energy system is tricky to explain. I hope you understand."

I did understand. I totally get it.

I said, "Go to study. I don't mind fucking. I'm a popular woman. I gotta see where the party's at."

Charles nodded casually and quickly left the scene. My appetite for sex was gone. Completely, and I realized that it had been somehow connected to Damon, and now that we were gone... no sex drive. Even after Damon had said that he was not sure do we still even existed, I knew pretty sure that we didn't. first of all, he had found the one. The one who is more important than life for him. Once, that had Damon for me, but not anymore.

Damien had manipulated us both, destroyed our love, and I had given up. I had stopped loving Damon, and it still was. I felt no more of that connection to him than I had in the past. When we were in love when we were. Where this pack would end up, I had no idea.

Now when Bran did his little tricks on me, would Damon be there even save me, or if I get sick, I guess no more Doctor damon. But I had Adam and Charles, who were both excellent doctors and surgeons, too. I got an idea that one time. I will find us three gigs in the hospital, Adam and Charles, and I will work in that hospital, as surgeons, and get to do that kind of thing together, too. We could also buy our own house too. Just for three of us. 

Mariella's arrival changed everything and still affects everything to this day because Damon and Mariella belong together. They want to be with each other. I'm Adam and Charles. But to this day, Damon hasn't let go of me. He's only found ways to tie me more tightly to him. That's what I wonder. Why does he want to tie himself to someone he doesn't always want to be with? Why can't he leave me alone? But then again, love is a powerful force that binds us together even if we would fight against it. Being in love with Damon has given me so much, and it has also crushed me more times than I thought possible.

I had things to do in myself. I didn't always have this new power of mine to control and teach. I had cat kittens living in my head. Kittens of different felines. There was a snow leopard called Bella. A leopard called Clea, a lion called Lily, and a jaguar called Jac. I could already take cat form, but only for a moment, and it took concentration and practice.

But every time it had gotten longer and longer, and this had been something that I had worked on when I was alone. I could now be in cat shape for hours at least and my instincts were coming more and more surface and my vampire side, too. my trouble maker. 

I wasn't a werewolf anymore; my feline genes had leaped forward, and I had evolved into something different. So many changes... I had become an Alpha female, now a hybrid of vampire and multi-shape shifter—a whole new species. Mimosa was free. She was hanging with Shadow and with men, the same as Mirella. I was alone and actually; I wanted my own space and time to think things through and get my condition better.

I had to sneak into medbay and take several tests for myself, and since damon was no longer my doctor, he got no alert of my results, Adam and Charles had never taken those alerts on their phones so I could do this in my own peace. My metabolism had gotten faster if possible. I had a whole new myriad of components in my blood and my lab results were all over the place. I had literally evolved into something whole new and now I had to find everything that there is about me. 

I took scans. blood tests, everything that I could find and I contacted the fleas, and asked them to deliver as many books of the feline shifters' alpha female, hybrids, as they could find. Then I called Colin and explained to him everything that had happened. He was very surprised, but he was middle of a crisis in Ireland and could not help me with anything since he knew nothing either. 

No help in there either. Fine, we will do this by ourselves, too. A few days later, a few fleas brought always some books for to me read and I read them oh, boy did I read them. I practiced with my felines too. I used also my chaos and my willpower, with my rage, and tried all sorts of combos. It was a fun thing to do but as I was in recovery I tried to take it easy and not overdo it. 

I sat on my bed. This was a big room. I cleared one room that had been used as storage and made a nest for myself. I had an enormous aquarium here, and I used to lie on the bed and watch fishes swimming and doing their things. I had my gala invite on a table near the aquarium, and I hoped it hadn't gotten wet.

I had been invited to a party or gala, and I thought now was the perfect time to go. I had just the right bright pink stretch velvet dress. It would make my body look more toned than it currently does at 43 kilos. It was important for me to go to this gala as a trauma surgeon and brain surgeon, too. I had gotten this invite because I had quite a talent in those two areas and I had gotten already a few prizes too.

I had not talked about this to anyone, not Bran because I did not want him to gala to try to get contacts, I could have taken Adam or Charles to be plus one but then again, they were enamored with Mariella and I did not even ask.

After the gala, I would go on a killing spree and do some heavy-duty sniping, and I might even unload my anxiety at a few fight clubs. I had tried to get my shape up for a month but as I ate whatever and I was not in good shape to start with, my success had been modest. I didn't sleep, not at all, as Adam and Charles were with Mariella or with wolves. 

I had gotten these approvals from Bran, Adam, and Charles. Even fight clubs.

Charles had absentmindedly said, " Go on, honey, you do well there and win again. Make me proud." He had not even reminded me to take multiplication enzyme blockers and again, I had to wonder, if would it work on me anymore.

I had changed the order of my name to Mimi Cornick—Hauptmann—Salvatore—or Mimi Cornick for short. It was time for change and big time. I had not said a word about my kittens or my ability to change my form to anyone. 

I also confirmed with Charles that my prenup with Damon was still valid. I had also commissioned a new medical power of attorney, under which Adam and Charles would take care of my care—no more Damon. Damon had no power over me, not my finances, health, or anything at all.

I had regained most of the power to myself, my finances, and my assets. Adam and Charles had no power over me, as they did not want it. They trusted me and that was very good, too. If Mariella decided she wanted Damon for herself, she certainly wouldn't get my money in the process. I could take divorce now with no problems and everything would be fine.

I had talked with Jarod for a long time on the phone and he was a true friend to me. Oh, he was laughing his ass off when I told him about my flank wedding and how many times Damon had threatened to kill him. I guess Jarod would not be such a threat anymore.

Jarod promised me that he would come to Gala if possible and we could talk there and he would love to see my feline forms, too. He was a pretender like I was, so this was something we had in common, and Damon was not part of this. I guess this was one thing that bothered damon about Jarod, that we were alike.

Everything was ready; my bags were packed, and the car was loaded. I didn't say anything to anyone when I left. It was time for me to be me, to myself, and to get my own mind in some sort of order. I also had quite a bloodlust as my vampire side had gotten stronger, too, but I had lots of blood in my secret stash in the house; even Adam or Charles did not know about them. I had seen several bite marks on both of them, made by Mariella, so feel free. 

My vampire side could be a problem if I did not control myself and it had taken Damon a few times to calm that side down as Adam and Charles weren't strong enough vampires to take me, so this was now something I had to remember because I could not trust Damon to be there if things would get out of hand. This was new start, as difficult it would be for me, but I was ready to take the challenge.