1 How to start a conversation

I saw her sitting alone under that old shady tree. She seemed to be thinking of something that needed all of her attention, not bothering to look at people passing her by , giving her the same look like what I am giving her. I took a deep breath and exhaled out a long sigh and mustered the courage to lift my left foot, a command my body dutifully followed even though my heart agreed with doubt. Walking towards her was almost like walking over a tight rope - straight and slow, heart thumping and almost about to faint. I realized that the worst thing to happen is trying to encourage myself into doing something that I'm not sure of what would happen next. I hate to contradict myself but what can I do? The need to satisfy what I feel is human nature. It is programmed to the very essence of human existence - love.

Was it?

Was it love at first sight? I needed to find out.

And there I was after a short walk that seemed to last forever. Sitting in front of that beautiful young lady holding a book that needed to be read, her eyes fixed on the page and not moving. She was only staring at it. But her eyes seems to look through the pages, through the book itself.

Envy is a word I felt at that moment… I felt envious of that book.

Then I started to wonder of what she is thinking of. Is she thinking of someone, is she thinking of something that bothers her so much? Or is she thinking why would somebody like me take the trouble to look at her the way I am looking at her now.

Then it happened. She noticed me.

But she just lifted her eyes. Looked at me.

Nothing.

Not a bit of reaction. She stared back at her book and seemed to continue reading.

I was never prepared for that. I felt pity on myself for expecting the opposite. Should I try to start a conversation? That nothingness that stopped me on my track is like a high, dry, lifeless mountain between me and my quest. I have always wondered how it would feel, how I would look like in a stupidity moment. Well, there's always a first for everything. What should be said was the problem. It was not like a chess game that it is easiest to just move a pawn forward without thinking and everything will follow.

Should I say "hi?"

I'm pretty sure she would respond a dry hello and then she would stand up and she'd be on her way. The word "hi" is like an open bait at the end of a fish pole that could luckily get the fish or will bore you to death in a fishing boat out in nowhere killing that precious time while burning your face and shoulders under the amused sun, just waiting for nothing.

Best to let that fish live… or leave?

I was becoming hopeless.

What if I ask the book's title, asked my startled mind, which in fact was becoming moronic because of the situation. I started to panic, at mere thought that this ugly mug might scare the bird away. And why would I ask the book's title without a proper introduction? It would be against the protocols of chivalry, invading her privacy specially if she was enjoying that book. Wait, is chivalry still relevant or just an obsolete word in our time in a forever place called dictionary?

"What's the book's title?" is a big big no. No way.

I read an article about how to start a conversation, about pick-up lines. I understood that pick-up lines are not to pick up a lady to go somewhere but to pick up a conversation that is lying around waiting to be talked about by using a pick-up line that would take the interest of the person intended to have conversation with.

Honestly, I myself was lost there. Lost with the words I just said. There I was lost in a conversation that never even started. I was lost because I don't know what to do and say.

Shall I give up? I asked myself. Should I?

I'm not a loser. I always say things that I borrowed from other people, whom I personally don't know. Like my friend Sun, who always ring my brain with the quote "victory is won before the battle started" of which that made my predicament now more complicated.

I plan and I succeed. I get what I want. Always do.

But this is different.

It seems what I plan to do right then and there is not working. The more time I plan on what to say and do next wastes precious time. She might stand up and go elsewhere anytime. It was a dead end for me. Then it came. The pickup line.

"Nice book."

She didn't respond. Not a word because I just realized it was only in my head. I was more concerned of the response she will give, the reason I had it only in my mind. What if she would ask me back what is nice with calculus. I'm not even good at math for crying out loud. For the shame of it, I'll never talk about it. Nice pick up but bad for my health. Ain't gonna happen.

I see it as bad omen.

But love conquers all right? We will become yin and yang. The other's weakness is complemented by the other's strength. I started to think about when reality sank in. Damn. I'm already counting the chicks but the hen haven't laid yet the eggs.

Okay back to square one.

How do we open up a conversation?

Society dictates that there should be a civilized way to reach out to other people. A courteous greeting would get a courteous response. If we require a polite answer, we give out a polite question. And in my case, courtesy and politeness might work. And so I was resolved.

In that very moment I decided to use the universal language for meeting new people, to say "hi." And I hope that I would not sound a Japanese saying yes instead.

"Hi."

I stopped, I was not sure if I heard it right. She spoke a sweet word that meant the world to me in that very moment. I was genuinely excited. It's a word that starts friendships that eventually lead to loveships. This is great.

The best part of it is, she said "hi" first. I almost died of over excitement, fear of rejection, and adrenaline overdose. At last there it was, the start of a conversation, an initiative on her part.

I felt as if the world had stopped that very moment. Was I in heaven? It felt that way. The bird's chirping had sounded like angel's songs, I was out of air, and my heart beats so hard it felt it wanted to break out from my chest. I can almost see the future.

I would take her out on dates. Make good memories. Make her happy.

Then I would ask her hand to marry me. Have kids. Grow old together.

I can see it very clearly – our future. Lived like a fairytale.

I was thinking so hard and deep that I did not notice her looking up at me. She was looking at me with bewilderment. Then her gaze shifted from my face to my shoulder, then to something else at my back.

Then out of nowhere I heard a guy say "hello." And off they went. I followed them with an empty gaze that gave me a glimpse of someone next to where we were.

There was a pretty lady at the other table. You guessed it right, I tried to say hi to her instead.

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