1 contemplating our lives

No one ever tells you that after having a baby life wouldn't be the same. Not only did nobody warn me of this, but I had twins for goodness sake. As I lay in the hospital bed waiting to get up and wait for my nurse to bring in my babies. I cant help but let my heart feel the pain of not having their father here. Its not like it was my choice. It was more of him saying he didn't want to start over again. So let me rewind a year from now, so that way you know how I ended up here alone and heartbroken. **********1year ago********* I was sitting at a Café new in town. I really wanted to just sit and read and enjoy a cold cup of soda with extra ice. My obsession. Anyways as I was sitting there reading another book of a romance and suspense, I didn't notice an older man who was so built and handsome. He was waiting for me to notice him, but seeing how consumed i was into my book, he cleared his throat makingbme look up a bit annoyed. As I met his eyes, I couldn't look away. The words were literally caught in my mind. I couldn't say anything. He just smirked and said "hi, I wanted to see if you didn't mind if we share this table." Like an idiot I just nod. Not able to say anything. I cleared my throat and said "yeah its fine. Just caught me off guard." He didn't say anything just sat down and smiled right at me. We were sitting on a love seat sofa with a cute small table by the window. I looked at him and decided to introduce myself. "My name is Ashley. Whats your name?" "Nice to meet you Ashley. My name is Gavin. What brings you here so late in the evening?" "Just wanted to come here for my soda and read. You?" "Just got off work and heard that there was a new bakery in town opening up. Wanted to see the what was so interesting about it." "Well, you do know its been opened for about 2 months already." He looked at me with a knowing look but didn't say anything else. We literally stayed there until it was closing time. I started to gather my things and decided I should just take a chance and give this handsome man my number. Stupid I know. But when I say older I mean late 40s older. Im only 24. So yeah thats a huge difference. But anyways, I hand him the piece of paper and walk out. Ok that was easy. I get into my car and start driving home. 20 minutes later I go into my 1 bedroom apartment and just can't stop thinking of him. Why am I so into him. I've never had a boyfriend at all. Like ever. Always too scared to get hurt. Always wanted a love story like I read about hundreds of times before. But this was real.life and it wasn't going to happen if I didn't grab life by the balls, well as the saying goes. So I was in the shower getting my night routine done so I can make something to eat. My phone starts to ring. Damn it who's calling this late. I get out to slide the bar over on my phone and put the call on speaker. "Hello?" "Hey, its Gavin from the Café." "Oh, hey. Can you give me a quick second?" " yeah, no problem." I rinsed my hair out so fast and body. That I almost fell getting out of my tub/shower. I wrapped myself in a towel and cleared my throat. "Hey, sorry I was getting out the shower." Cringing to myself. Why did I just say that? What the hell was i thinking? Ugh. He chuckled a bit and said "damn I just finished doing the something." "We have about the same routine then. Hahaha. So whats up?" " I was actually calling to see if you want to do anything tomorrow. Im available after work and wanted to see if you want to have dinner or see a movie or something." "Yeah, that actually sounds good. What time? Do you want to come over here?" "Thats sounds good. I'll text you as soon as I get done with work so we can figure what to do." " ok, perfect. Well goodnight." "Goodnight." Omg, my first date ever. What was I thinking?