1 CHAPTER 1: SO WE MEET...

1940s, LOS ANGELES

He was so beautiful that I found it hard to look away and so I stared, stared like a girl who had never seen a man before in her life. He was chatting with a group of people, the females in the group hung on his every word and one of them clung to his arm like she never intended to let it go. The blond bothered me to the point of agitated desperation. I wanted him to look in my direction, to notice me standing, adjacent and far away... I was staring at him so diligently, at least he must notice that but he was so engrossed in whatever it was that he was telling his friends that he'd dare not look at me. I saw his arm flailing about him in vigor and enthusiasm of the tale, there was a punch line in there somewhere because I heard and saw everyone laugh in unison. He smiled. It was like the smile of a small boy who had done something grown-up for the first time, it was enchanting. It was a pure, schoolboy smile on a man who was surely in his thirties. He had dark, thick eye brows, underneath which were eyes a glistening, dark brown, with the thickest eyelashes I had ever seen on a man. But he would not look, he would not look and it just made me yearn for him all the more. The blond still held his arm, a very tenacious woman, she wouldn't let him break free of her so that he could relate his story with abandonment. I could see that he had no ring on his finger- the woman was not his wife. In that moment I wished that whoever this blond was, he dump her as soon as possible. She didn't seem right for him, a man like him required a woman like him- free, independent, charming...beautiful. The blond was beautiful but she didn't seem to possess any of the other traits.

"Stop staring at him, love. It is getting ridiculous. He isn't looking but everyone else in this party is!" James jerked me out of the trance.

"Why?!... How long have I been staring?" I said looking embarrassed, I knew my cheeks were soon going to acquire the scarlet tinge, "I am so sorry. I didn't know." That was not the truth, I was fully aware of myself staring at him, I wasn't, however, aware of others staring at me. For a moment there everything else had faded into the background it was as though it were just I and the dark-haired man in this world, everything else was hazy to the point of being a blur.

"It has been a good ten minutes, I presume. This is the first time you have seen him, right?"

I nodded with a silent plea that he continue to tell me about the man.

"He's John Ford!" he said.

I still hadn't come any closer to finding out who the man was, "John Ford who?"

"The actor, silly!" he smiled at me like I'd been joking and then witnessing my state of confusion he realized that I hadn't actually known and continued solemnly, "You really don't know! How is that even possible? How are you ever going to get anywhere in this town if you don't even know who John Ford is?" He was feeling infinitely sympathetic now, I could see it in his drooped lips and pitying eyes.

I was on defensive, "I don't need to know who he is to be successful here... you know I am new to town, it'll take me time but I will familiarize myself with everything" and then I turned my head in the dark-haired man's direction, "and everyone. You just wait and see."

He again looked at me like I didn't know what I was talking about, like I was a simple country girl (which I was) who knew nothing whatsoever of the world. My insides appealed against show of such chauvinism and just to rattle him I decided to do something completely out of character, I turned around and started walking in the direction of John Ford.

"Glenn, what do you think you are doing? Come back here. It's ok!" I heard him calling me in the background but I stalked ahead with single-mindedness. When I reached his side I heard his voice for the very first time, "...yes flying can be complicated but I do love the freedom and serenity one feels high up in the sky, nothing like it on the ground!" I was wholly mesmerized by his voice, it touched the very soul of you, so pure, so rich, so manly and then my second thought was, oh! So he can also fly planes. Again, I just started staring and this time he had to take notice because the people in his group had registered the intrusion and they were all looking at me like an imbecile had walked into their midst. He finally found it strange that the group weren't intrigued by his story anymore and that something else had captured their attention and that something, evidently, was at his very side, his confused stare scanned the faces of his group and then finally landed on me... his eyes! Oh my, his eyes! The moment he established eye contact with me I felt a tremor jolt the very insides of my soul, I felt extremely alive and vibrant in that moment; I could only imagine what a woman must feel when he looked at her with love in those eyes. I hadn't even seen the look and yet I could imagine it as something of an earth-shattering experience. He stared at me with confusion and then he stared at me with laughter in his eyes and a smile on his thin, tanned lips, "Can I help you?"

He had addressed me, I didn't have even an ounce of coherent thought in my head. What had I gotten myself into? What had I come to him for? Dear God! How was I ever going to get out of this one without completely humiliating myself? It took me a good fifteen seconds to blurt out my first words, "I... I...."

He helped me on, his face was full of amused understanding, "Yes? I... I..." and then he nodded in my direction exactly like an understanding master teaching lessons to a difficult pupil.

I gulped down my nervous tension and racked my brain for something, anything but nothing came to mind... not a single word. I dazedly stared at the rest of the group around him, they all looked at me with strange expressions on their faces, some were sympathizing, others plainly horrified, the blond stared at me with the eyes of a bloodhound. I realized that I couldn't possibly embarrass myself more if I just turned around, so I turned around and was about to walk away when I saw James staring at me with the same expression of quizzical superiority. Looking at him brought it all back, I plucked up courage and turned around once more, thankfully John Ford hadn't dismissed me yet and was still staring after me, this time I could see hilarity in his eyes, it was not derogatory though, it was a light-hearted acceptance of the things as they stood.

"I wanted to introduce myself and say hello, I am Glenn Baker" with this I extended my hand in his direction, "...and you are?"

He took my hand in a firm, masculine grip. Touching him was zenith. "I am John Ford. Pleased to meet you, Glenn." He accompanied this with a warm smile.

I gave him an answering smile and nodded in everyone's direction and decided to take my leave. He was still staring, they were still staring. I turned around and started to walk off in James' direction. As I moved I overheard one of them saying, "Strange girl..." and then I heard others agreeing, but I didn't hear John Ford saying anything. When I had safely reached James I turned around to look at him, the others were now busy making conversation with one another as though I had never happened but John was looking at me; he sipped his champagne while his intense, magnetic stare appraised me. I gave him a slight smile and he finally turned his head and immersed himself in conversation again.

"That was an extremely silly thing to do! You know that man can ban you from ever entering a studio, he has that kind of influence over here." James was reprimanding my behavior. From the time I had come to Hollywood James, a distant cousin from back home, had been my only guide and support. He had taught me whatever little I knew of this world and he was my only confidante albeit at times an infuriating one.

"Oh, come on now, it can't be that bad." I juggled my keys to open the lock on my studio apartment door. After the incident with John Ford James had hastily dragged me out of the party. The only reason I was there with him in the first place was because James managed a small talent agency in Hollywood and had decided that it would be good for me to establish some contacts who could get me some work.

"Bad? You made a mockery of yourself out there today. If you had let me tell you about him you would have found out that he is the lead player in the film."

"My film?..." I asked feeling vulnerable and every bit as silly as James had claimed I was.

"Yes, honey. You are the stand-in for his leading lady, he is the leading man! They make all the money while you and your friends slave for them!"

I was getting more agitated by the minute, "Why didn't you just stop me, reason with me? What if he thinks I am some kind of a nut job and gets me fired tomorrow? What am I going to do then! I have no money, I'll have no rent... nowhere to live, I'll have to go back to Nebraska..."

James held my shoulders and gave me a good shake, "Stop it now, silly! You have always been so silly. So you didn't like my taunt, so what? You didn't have to prove anything to me. You know I jest. So what if you don't know the studio's leading heartthrob, you do know a good deal of things I'll never know. Why couldn't you just let me have it? What is this need you have to stand up for yourself all the time? It gets you into trouble a lot..."

I understood now what he was saying, I shouldn't have reacted so impulsively, "You are right", I relaxed against him and he gave me a solid hug, "I am silly, aren't I? You were always right to call me that. I do need this job, James. Tell me what to do?" I stared into his eyes, pleading.

He affectionately moved his hands through my hair, "You have done enough. Don't do anything. If you go there tomorrow, John Ford looks at you and doesn't say anything it will be likely that he has forgotten the entire episode. Come to think of it, why would a big celebrity like him remember so trivial an incident, it is most likely that he won't even recognize you. I am hopeful that you'll remain employed."

"Thank you for those words of encouragement."

"Anytime!", he kissed my forehead, "Now go along to your room and get some sleep. Big day tomorrow. Your first job in a Hollywood film! Go and rest, I'll shut the door when I leave."

I smiled at him and went to my room. I jumped into the bed, sleep came to me as soon as I heard James closing the door behind him. It was a dreamless, sound sleep.