1 Atonment for Being Born

Looking back on it now… it almost seems like I've lived two lives. I can't help but feel the pull, the weight of my old life, always scratching at me like stakes driving through my wings nailing me to the ground. I never had a name until Felt gave me one, at least not one that I remember, I was so happy when she called me Wish. Looking at myself now, it really makes me think about everything that got me here.

It all started with the unholy union of two people. My mother was a pale demon and my father, well to be honest I still don't know what race he is, or even if he's still alive. I think he was human probably, though I suppose he could have been a dwarf. No matter the case that union bore me and into the world I came. I was made to be rejected by my mother and her people, as well as the world of men. Little did anyone, least of all me, know I would one day become the hero of the Karnassuss.

As a little girl I ran away. I really had no idea what the realm of the humans would be like, of course I didn't care much either. It was too hard to stay, even though a part of me never wanted to go. I mean… I did have a mother, at least I thought I did.

I flew into the humans city at night without being noticed and asked some people for help I think I was 8… no 9 at the time, and was excited and young, foolish perhaps, I can still remember most of it clearly. It all started when an old lady answered the first dour I knocked on in the outer circle of one of the human cities.

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"You can spend the night outback in the stables if you want." An old lady spoke softly to the young nine year old girl who was wearing a cloak and hood in an attempt to cover her horns that ironically resembled a halo being thin and small coming out from behind her ears curving towards each other and her wings which were covered sufficiently by the cloak.

"Thank you Miss I'm new in town and I'd just like to get back on my feet." The girl replied cheerfully.

"Well then, I suppose tomorrow we could go into the inner wall and look for some work, but off to bed with you. It's dark out. You don't want to attract the guard's attention being out so late."

"Thanks again." She said to the older woman. Leaving for the barn.

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She must have recognized my accent, of course looking back a simple cloak probably wasn't enough to hide the fact that my skin was different than theirs, may face may look smooth but my skin for the most part was like stone. It wouldn't change the amount of pain I would feel though.

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"Oh look, the roach finally decided to wake up." She was just this little 9 year old girl chained up by her arms with her wings locked down by large metal clamps chained to walls. At first she said nothing. She had learned talking usually made things worse.

"What… nothing to say?" the guard punched her in the ribs with his metal gauntlet. While the other leaned against a wall.

"Hold on" The other guard started. "I know we can get away with some of that, but I don't want to take chances with that circle mage coming." He said trying to prevent the man from hurting her any more.

"I… I'm sorry." The young girl said thinking apologizing might help if silence didn't help this time

The man slapped her in the face.

"Don't you dare use those words, there is no sorry for what you must have done." He said before stepping out of the room trying to control his anger.

The other guard spoke calmly but was just as hostile "You're just a child… I suppose you just chose that form in hopes that we would feel bad about hurting you. Roach was a good name, you and your kind deserve to be crushed under someone's foot."

Just then a short elf woman walked into the room wearing all black leather with long pointy ears and short braided hair.

"You're Bastion." The guard suddenly stood up straight saluting the girl as though she were a much higher rank than him making him nervous.

"At ease soldier." She said marching over to a desk at the edge of the room across from the prisoner.

"Tell me soldier, has it said anything sense it woke up?" she asked opening a file with pencil in hand.

"Just one thing mam."

"Well spit it out." She seemed calm to the point it felt almost as though she didn't care.

"She said I'm sorry."

"Yes? Quite interesting, and what is it that your sorry for little demon." She turned addressing the young girl directly while crossing one leg over the other.

"I" She shuddered coughing out blood, sweating, and breathing heavy. "For whatever I did to that man." She managed to get the words out now hanging her head. Her long red and black hair was dangling to the ground now sitting in the puddle of blood.

"What is she talking about?" the woman asked.

"Uh, the private standing outside right now mam, he punched her with his gauntlet before excusing himself not wanting to deal too much damage.

"It, private… It" She said correcting him.

"Uh yes mam I apologize."

"Its fine but don't mistake this thing for a person again. These monsters are not on the same level as we are and know nothing but chaos." She said standing up and walking over to the young girl. Lifting up her prisoners garb to examine the midsection.

"It looks like your friend broke four ribs and ruptured an internal organ. Impressive for one punch against a demon, even with weighted gloves."

"Is it to damaged? That sounds bad." He responded.

"No, not for a demon they have a high self-regeneration rate, this one seems week though, starved maybe, none the less it would take a lot more to kill one." She lifted the young girls head up by her long hair. Her eyes looked tired as her breathing tuned to wheezing and blood ran down the sides of her mouth.

"It's to injured for interrogation now, transport the creature to the circle tower dungeon. We can deal with it there, I want to see this other guard you mentioned as well."

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And with that I fell back asleep, or passed out maybe, I still don't remember everything but… the pain, I know that was real, I still remember how it felt, from knowledge what a healer told me much later I now know that I had five broken ribs not four, one of which punctured one of my lungs, also my Spleen ruptured, luckily I had a second one, small though it was. I am still thankful for surviving, despite the horror of what happened next.

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"Huh? Oh your awake." A cheery voice from a young man that appeared to be a dwarf.

The young girl, now called "roach," said nothing, worried she might provoke ill intent, but when she looked around it seemed, peaceful, if only for a moment it felt to her like she was in a real home. The room had bright white walls and a soft bed that she woke up in. Even though it was a small room it didn't give off an ominous feeling in the slightest.

"We took your wings, you should look more human now, although somehow I doubt you'll appreciate that, even if it was your goal."

She quickly got up standing up in the room trying to spread them out as if she still felt them before looking at her reflection in a large one way glass window realizing they were indeed gone.

"They will grow back with time, don't worry." The dwarf said as he looked down at a chart of some sort.

"We also took some skin samples, your stone hard skin was curious, we rarely find demons of your significant rank so we will make sure we put them to good use."

She stood there and began to cry as he walked out eventually collapsing to the ground as she begun to feel the pain of what they had done.

The door slammed open the next morning and the elf mage was there. Two guards rushed in and drug the young girl out of the white room putting a bag over her head as she provided no resistance while they took her to another interrogation room chaining her up this time in a different way.

"Ok let's start simple." The elf said. "Why were you inside the city?"

"I was running away."

"Oh? And from what exactly?" she remained perfectly calm writing everything down.

"The other demons."

"And why is that." She asked a little bit shocked putting the pen down and staring into her eyes, as she hung from chains spreading out her entire body in four directions as if to quarter her.

"I didn't belong there, they would make fun of me and hurt me. I thought maybe you would be different."

"I see, then this form you have, is this your true self?"

"It's the only me there is."

"So then you're a child."

"I guess so, I'm nine years old if that's what you mean."

"What do you know of Malmortius."

"I don't know anything about that."

She signaled one of the guards who then began turning a crank that tightened the chains further stretching out my body by pulling on the arms and legs.

"I'm going to ask one more time."

"I overheard someone say that one time, they were talking about the great tower, I think. I promise that's all I know." She spoke so fast she couldn't understand herself, but apparently the elf could, or at least she pretended to.

"Interesting." She picked up her file and walked out the dour without giving any orders or any other instructions.

After she left the guards that brought her to the room escorting her back seemingly caught off guard by the fact she really was just a child. They just put the bag over her head and she began walking when they gently pushed against her back. After that things were finally better for a while.

She lived there for around two or three years before things changed again, her wings grew back and her skin started getting harder. Her body began to change and my muscles felt stronger. The dwarf came by regularly during this time asking questions.

"Subdue her." The door slammed open and guards armored in full plate ran in and threw roach to the ground wrapping chains around her putting some kind of silver facemask on her, finally dragging her wings together clamping them with more silver shackles that would leave scars that wouldn't heal for months.

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I was drug off to another room where they experimented on me, some weren't so bad and even harmless really, but others were brutal, for the most part it was just testing there weapons on me and seeing how my body reacted to certain things, I had no idea silver hurt so much, but when they brought me close to stones, especially jade I felt at peace. If only for a little while, until the next test came. They were relentless, until some more time had passed I'd say roughly another six months before something happened. I ended up getting sold to a wealthy man from another city and traveled there as cargo loaded up on some kind of boat I think that's when I thought things were finally getting better, and I suppose they did, if not before getting worse again.

I remember the sadistic man's face, the smile he had as he beat me, inventing new ways just to inflict pain each time. From then on it's all just a blur, but I remember how it ended very clearly.

The door leading to the prison cell was broken down kicked off the hinges and a young and quite skinny dwarf woman. She came bursting through with Thick boots that were armored on the front with stone plates going all the way up to the waist with her left arm covered in similar plates up just past the shoulder. She had nothing but fighter's bandages on her right hand though.

I still remember thinking about how strangely she dressed more than anything else. She had all this heavy armor but then she only had a piece linen covering her chest cut away from the neck and leaving most of the stomach bare fitting tightly under a leather harness consisting of two plates held together by straps protecting the heart and upper lungs. She had long blond hair pulled back with braids scattered throughout. To be honest she really looked like a mess, but she saved me from that place.

I remember her coming in breaking open all the cages with just an ordinary smith's hammer finally getting to me last seeing the large spikes driven through my wings as I sat there against a wall covered in blood.

"Hello little lass." The dwarf girl said to the young half demon as she was digging the large coned stakes out of her wings.

"My name's Felt. It's a pleasure."

"wha… why?" She said stuttering barley able to hold her eyes open

"Shush now. There'll be time for that later." Felt spoke softly picking up the girl carrying her over her shoulders.

The slaves in the area were vicious and merciless killing the guards with tools meant for farming or trimming bushes and then passing the guards weapons to others. Before long the entire palace was burning to the ground while the dwarf carried the girl to safety instead of seeing the revolt through to the end.

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I remember leaving that place. I wasn't glad to see it burning to cinders, but I couldn't be sad to see it go, even though I'd never get to see the beautiful gardens the other slaves would tell me about.

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