1 Chapter 1: Me

I had died.

That´s all I could remember before waking up in this strange...

Room?

I wasn't really sure where I was, it was like a small bubble formed around me, a warm feeling that I had never felt before, all I knew was that I never wanted to leave this place again.

*Was this the afterlife?*

As I drifted in this little bubble, I began to think about my previous life.

My name was Kagei Hidoi, a name my father gave me out of spite for me.

In my early years I never knew why he hated me so much, until the day he told me that I had killed my mother. Now I know that she died in childbirth, but back then I didn't really understand what I did to her, was it something I couldn't remember?

He was drunk and started to insult my 5yo me when he called me a monstrous murdering devil. Then he started hitting me over and over again until I fell unconscious.

The next day I woke up on the exact spot where I lay the last evening, my entire body hurt and I could see the bruises everywhere. I didn't know what to do so I just sat there and started to cry like there was no tomorrow. After maybe an hour had passed my father entered the room.

"Shut the fuck up you little shit" he yelled at me.

And so I did, fearing what would happen if I continued crying.

After this day there where many more days of the same all over again.

When I entered school my dad told me to always wear a pullover, so that no one would see my scars and bruises. He said they would laugh at me when they saw.

I was always a loner, even in my early childhood no one wanted their children to play with the offspring of a drug and alcohol addicted Father. In school this didn't change at all, the first day, two Girls came at me and started calling me names like Demon, Bastard or addicted whore. They insulted my red eyes, my pale skin and even my white hair. I already knew that I was a hideous creature of a human, but I didn't understand why they would just come to me and say such things.

After this day I realized that my life would just continue like that. Why was I so ugly? Why was my hair white? Am I really just a monster in a human body? Will I end up as an addict like Father?

I started to withdraw myself from the class as often as I could. At lunch, I would always go on the rooftop of our school and I always sat at the farthest place in the Classroom.

My life consisted of days in the school getting bullied and nights at home with my father, who grew ever more violent. I already knew that he would one day kill me, but what could I have done?

I was so scared that I started to hide a knife in my drawer, I didn't want to die no matter how horrible my life was. Even in School I hid the knife in my backpack just too be extra safe.

Then, when I was 14yo, it happened, my father came home from a night full of alcohol and cocaine.

"Where are you, little shit?" he yelled.

I already lay in my bed, my heart pounding, hoping he would just give up and go to sleep. But he wouldn't.

He entered my Room, dead drunk and staring at me with hateful eyes, but there was something else I had never seen before and it frightened me more than anything else I.

"Its time to learn a way to contribute to society and make yourself useful around here."

I started to realize what he wanted to do to me, so I frantically searched for a way out of this room. I ran towards the door and tried to tackle my father in the hopes that I could get through.

But my frail and underfed body wasn't enough. Weighing only 45 kilogram would be my doom. He easily caught me and started touching my body in all the wrong places.

"Don´t worry if you are obedient it will be over soon."

While he continued rubbing and undressing me I remembered the knife I hid in my drawer. I tried with all my strength to get there. I looked at him and then bent over, hoping he would interpret it as me submitting.

"I see you understand your position." it worked, so I started slowly opening the drawer and pulling out the knife. All the while trying to ignore what he did too my nether region.

Catching him off guard while he lowered his pants, I spun around and plunged the knife in his throat. I felt nothing but rage as I pulled the knife back out of him. His blood started spraying all over me but the only thing I could think off was letting him suffer for all he had done, so I started frantically stabbing him in the Stomach over and over again.

After maybe an hour I stopped, finally coming to my senses. The body of my father was now a mess of blood and entrails, I didn't spare a single part of him.

The rest of the night I just sat there, between the body parts of what was formerly my father. In the morning I took a shower to clean the blood of me as much as possible, then I just went too School as usual.

At Lunch I was again on my favored spot on the rooftop, looking over the landscape and trying to understand what had happened the last night. It was then that a girl appeared next too me.

"You are Kagei-senpai aren't you?"