1 Chapter 1

1

“Zeke was the first man I was ever with, and he was very good at teaching me the ropes. He should have been because I was, hell, at least his fifth that semester.” Neil sighed, adding, “And we were only juniors in college at the time.”

“Sounds like he was a busy guy. Now you say he’s coming to your class reunion?” Kev slanted a look at his friend and frowned when he nodded. After taking another drink of his beer he said, “I bet you’re going to run to him if he crooks his finger in your direction.”

“I don’t know!” Neil replied. “I hope not, but damn it, I was in love with him, or I thought I was.”

“That was five years ago.”

“There’s a time limit on love?”

“There is when it’s pretty obvious it was one-sided. If you ask me, which you sort of did,” Kev smiled briefly, “I suspect it wasn’t really love. It was infatuation and nothing more, because he wasyour first.”

Neil’s shoulders slumped. “Yeah, I guess.” He stared into his beer, his mouth tightening. “I know I sound like a weakling, believing he could have cared for me.”

“No, you sound like a na?ve kid who had finally accepted you were gay. The bastard figured it out and used it to his advantage until the next man caught his fancy.”

“You’re right; I know that.” Neil took a deep breath. “I should skip the reunion. Then I won’t have to see him again.”

“Why do you want to go in the first place?”

“The same reason most people do. To catch up face-to-face with people I knew, instead of only on social media. I did…do have friends from college, believe it or not.”

“Of course I believe it.” Kev looked thoughtfully at Neil. Then he grinned. “You show up with me on your arm. That should let him know in no uncertain terms you’re over him and not available.”

“Uh-huh. To begin with, you’re not gay. He’d know it was fake.”

“Like he can look at me and tell? Geesh. Come on, Neil. Think about it and you’ll know it’s a good plan. Besides, he’ll probably come with some dude, too. Parading him around in front of all the guys he screwed while in college. Guys he’s sure are still pining away for him. He sounds like that kind of asshole.”

“I suppose he was, but nope, no guy. He’ll bring his wife.”

“The fuck you say,” Kev’s eyebrows shot up. “He’s married? Then why are you worried?”

“Because I still feel something for him. I told you that.”

Kev reached across the table to pat his arm. “I suspect that’s why you’venever settled on one person. None of them live up to your memories of him.”

Neil nodded, replying dryly. “That started right after he dumped me. I suppose it makes me just like him, jumping from man to man.”

“Not really. At least you let one go before moving on to the next. I get the impression Zeke didn’t.”

“Sometimes he did.”

“But not when you and he were together, I bet.”

“No. He was still with, well it doesn’t matter who, when he…” Neil grimaced. “When he set his sights on me. I knew about the other guy because he told me, but Zeke made me feel special. First as a friend he was helping come to grips with his…with mynew life, and then as someone he was very interested in. I thought he was sincere, because he dropped the other guy. Maybe he was, in his own way. Anyhow, when he began to come on to…no, to seduce me, I let him. He dumped me a couple of months later and I was devastated. By then, of course, I knew we had no future together, but I kept hoping he’d change his mind. That he’d see me as the guy for him.”

Neil paused to take a drink before continuing. “I should have…I did know better. Once things had moved beyond friendship between us, I’d meet him at the apartment he rented way off campus which he used for his trysts. Meanwhile he was openly dating girls and flaunting it. When one guy tried to out him, Zeke laughed it off, telling everyone the guy was pissed because he’d stolen his girlfriend. They believed him.”

“You know what? Maybe this reunion will be exactly what you need to finally get over him once and for all, with my help.”

“He’s not going to buy it, Kev.”

“You don’t know that. Have you two kept in touch?”

Neil snorted. “Nope. I don’t think his wife would approve even if I wanted to.” He chewed his lip, adding, “Which I don’t.”

Kev looked as if he didn’t believe him but only replied, “Why the hell is he married anyway?”

“I suspect, as an up and coming junior partner in his uncle’s law firm he needed to project the right image.”

“He’s not old enough to be a lawyer. That takes years.”

Neil cocked his head. “He’s my age.”

“Exactly. All of twenty-six.” Kev studied him. “Although you don’t look close to that old.”

“Yeah, rub it in,” Neil grumbled before saying, “Generally, it takes four years of college. We graduated in twenty-thirteen. Then there’s three years in law school, another year or so to pass your bar exam and be admitted to the bar. He would have been twenty-five by the time that happened.”

“Neil, for the love of God do nottell me you’ve been following his career.”

“I could, but I won’t because I haven’t been. I dated a guy who a lawyer. He made damned sure I got it that he slaved to become one.” Neil rolled his eyes. “We lasted all of a month and a half before he decided I wasn’t up to his expectations except in bed.”

“Ah, wait, I remember him. Snob incorporated. You were a lowly theater person and not evenan actor…” Kev shook his head. “He should have been half as creative as you.”

“Thanks for the compliment. Unfortunately, or fortunately I guess, he didn’t see it that way.” Neil finished his beer. When Kev did as well they ordered another round.